SIMPLE LIVING
Easy to Navigate Steps to a Simpler Life
You get to define what the simple life means to you
“Did we bite off more than we could chew?” I wondered as I surveyed the 10 acres we just took possession of minutes before at the title office. In my quest to simplify my life did I just exchange one complicated way of life for another?
A moment of buyer’s remorse and panic washed over me. I wanted a simple life and now I may have just complicated it even more. Hayfields and tractors and rattlesnakes and living in a small town — we knew nothing about any of this. Would we quickly regret our move from suburbia to country life?
But the silence spoke to me: “This is where you are going to find peace.”
I shook off the doubts and walked a few yards around the property and reassured myself with affirmations like, “You don’t have to do anything on this land you don’t want to do.” and “There are no expectations or regulations or HOA reps telling you what to do.” and “You can do as little as you like or as much as you want. Don’t put any pressure on yourself.”
We approached our new life one step at a time. First came the chicken coop followed by the chickens — four months later! I was hesitant to take on anything I wasn’t prepared to, having learned hard lessons in the past about taking on new things too quickly.
I settled in with the chickens and when my husband brought home four goats while I was out of town, I panicked. I’m not ready for goats yet! The dogs just got used to the chickens, I told him. But the goats, like the chickens, proved to be easy to care for.
The simple life
We soon settled into a rhythm and a habit that we now use to maintain our peace and keep our simple life simple. We are slow and careful to tackle new projects or ventures, carefully guarding our time and peace. We always ask before jumping in, “Is this going to complicate our lives or will this bring us joy and peace?”
As we transitioned into our simple life friends and family were intrigued by our new way of living and were interested in living vicariously through our adventure. I heard over and over how so many had the same dream, to move to the country, to buy a farm, to raise their own food, or to simply slow down in order to find peace and a slower lifestyle.
The truth is, simple is relevant. What’s simple to me certainly may not be simple to you. It’s not about following a set of rules or standards that create a simple life, it’s defining what matters to you and designing your life around those core values.
Minimalism without grace is just another metric for perfection. — Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow
While initially, I fantasized about this simple country life and how much simpler things would be when Target and Kohl’s were not at my doorstep or the comparison of the neighbors wasn’t driving me to do more and be more, I quickly realized that farm life — REAL farm life would indeed have its own set of challenges.
The location I was in did not affect my life choices and magically create simplicity, No, this was going to have to be an inside job. I could trade one form of busyness for another or I could have moved to a large city and found my life simpler or calmer depending on how I chose to live.
Circumstances and my environment were not going to dictate simple for me — I was going to have to come up with a working definition of MY simple so I could find the peace and fulfillment I was craving.
First, eliminate what makes you feel drained.
I began by eliminating all the things that made me feel yucky, stressed, or overwhelmed. From possessions to people, I slowly began to extricate myself from family drama, useless and dust-collecting mementos, and obligations that I had taken on out of duty not love.
Then, identify what you value.
Next, I identified my core values. I first heard about doing this from Katie Bowman in her book, Movement Matters, where she talks about how her family identified what was important to them and created a lifestyle around those things.
I realized I had never done this other than creating a fantasy Pinterest board called The Way I Want to Live. I had not really put into concrete terms what my values were and what a simple lifestyle looked like for me. I only knew that I wanted less stress. But what had caused the stress and what was I not willing to let back into my life?
Create a vision board or vision notebook.
I created a vision board around these core values. And then listed out in practical terms what living them out would look like. This value system can follow me no matter where I live!
It’s not about raising chickens and growing a garden, it’s about doing what feeds my soul and eliminates distractions. It’s about finding the time for the things that bring me joy while saying no to those things that suck the life from me.
Identify your non-negotiables
Losing my high-stress job shortly after we landed on the farm served to further clarify for me what simple looked like. Through a job search coaching program offered by my former employer, I was advised to lay out my non-negotiables for searching for my next job. I did that and it was liberating.
It meant I could be deliberate, purposeful, and intentional about what kind of work I would search for and what parameters I would be willing to entertain. For me, travel was non-negotiable. I had done my fair share of traveling for work and I realized that it was a factor that had complicated my life. It made me weary and it took me away from the things and people I loved. No future job would involve extensive travel.
Once you identify your non-negotiables such as being debt-free, or living in a town with good schools, or being near nature trails, it will be easier to make big life decisions.
Be open to changes in your path
As my job search carried on I realized I would not be re-entering the traditional job market full time, that part of My Simple would have to be allowing myself to pursue a dream I had carelessly let slip away more than a decade prior: writing.
I would devote this time to my craft and what made me feel alive and I would find a way to eke out a living in this way — eventually. What fascinated me about this journey is that I began to connect with readers all over the world who said “I am tired of the rat race too. I am tired of listening to all the voices of how I should live and I am ready to find my simple.”
And in order to not give the impression that my lifestyle is the simple life to be pursued by all, I began calling this form of minimalism “my simple” and asking readers, “What is your simple”?
This helps them to not try to live out a predetermined version of simplicity that I or any popular minimalist espouses, but allows them the freedom to find their own way. To do the heart work concerning their values, to have real conversations with their families about what they wish their lifestyle would look like, and to dream and set plans in motion to pursue those dreams. I’ve now created a course to help women identify their core values and find their simple.
For some, it means early retirement to find time for travel they had been putting off for “someday.” For others, it’s meant stepping out of full-time work and cutting back in order to pursue passions and other endeavors, while creatively finding ways to bring in an income that provides but doesn’t suffocate. Selling houses, downsizing, starting a small garden, selling their crafts, women from all over have shared with me that finding their simple is helping them create a life of value. They finally feel like they have time to weed out the distractions, time to determine what’s best for them, and time to be fully present in each moment with those they care about.
The simple life can change as we do
Will the farm life always be the framework for my simple? No, I don’t think so. My simple is about having room to pursue my creative endeavors, time to rest and play, and being close to nature. That could take on many forms.
We talk about the possibility of the RV life, buying a tiny home, living in a small cottage on a lake, or being nomadic grandparents when that time comes. It all sounds glamorous but will that lifestyle fulfill my simple? We’ll have to do some more research first to find out.
City life, country life, nomad, adventurer or homebody, corporate executive or entrepreneur, you define your simple. That, I believe, is how you truly simplify!
Don’t get fooled into thinking that simpler times are a thing of the past. Read more about the fallacy of simpler times.