Three Ways to Overcome Thinking Your Chronic Invisible Illness Is a Weakness

Contrary to the Opinion of Others

“A lot of people in my life think my illness is a character flaw #LongCovid

I recently read these words which were tweeted by someone suffering from Long Covid. It generated a strong and emotional reaction from the Long Covid ‘X’ community, of whom I’m a reluctant member. Their resounding response reflected an opposite viewpoint.

Living with, and fighting this condition was seen as a strength! The character flaw was perceived by them to lie with those making this judgement leaving a Long Covid sufferer to internalise it and adding to their increasing feelings of failure and low self-esteem.

This type of judgement usually originates, I’m sad to say, from friends, family and work colleagues. It never fails to surprise me as to how cruel and undeserving this assessment can be. Many people with Long Covid have been stars in their field of work, active and successful. That makes this new perception potentially even more devastating as they try to accept their new life of inactivity, pain, fatigue, and many other debilitating symptoms.

Chronic Illness and Feelings of Failure

It’s common for people with chronic debilitating illnesses to feel like a failure, and to perceive their condition as a weakness. Symptoms such as pain result in people not being able to do the things they want to do or could do pre-diagnosis. Careers can be lost, finances decimated and relationships with loved ones can suffer.

It’s frustrating, and often these individuals are much harder on themselves than those around them. They lose sight of who they really are and their identity becomes intimately entangled with their chronic disease state.

It’s easy to enter a downward spiral and become depressed. In the most recent 2021 UK census, the number of people economically inactive because of long-term sickness has risen to over 2.5 million people, an increase of over 400,000 since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Over half of these people reported that they had depression, bad nerves or anxiety with the majority reporting it as a secondary health condition rather than their main one.

These figures are concerning.

Turning a Perceived Weakness Into a Real Strength

I agreed with the Long Covid community response to this lady on X. Having lived with chronic, invisible illness for two decades, I know how far I’ve had to dig and how much strength I’ve had to muster to keep going and design a new life around it.

Long Covid has forced me to revisit the actions I took and the mindset I developed to overcome the challenges I faced.

Focus on Your Strengths

When I first work with clients looking to transform their lives and businesses, one of the exercises I give them to do is a personal SWOT analysis.

Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. It’s commonly done in organisations to help identify strategies and implement realistic plans with forward momentum.

I always leave clients to complete this task alone and in their own time, allowing them the space to reflect. Upon receiving their exercise via e-mail, I can honestly tell you, that nine times out of 10, they will have a huge list under their weaknesses and virtually nothing listed under their strengths. People are so reluctant to reward and praise their achievements.

It’s even more important to focus on strengths, opportunities and achievements when living with an energy-depleting illness like Long Covid. Yes, the illness is a huge threat to progress, especially as it’s unpredictable and debilitating. But in learning to adjust and redesign your life around it, you must focus on the things you are still good at, and hopefully, some of which you will still be able to do.

Focus on the Good Things Still in Your Life

Having focused on the things you’re still good at doing, it’s time to focus on the good things still in your life.

Show gratitude. I appreciate it’s difficult to do, especially when an illness is causing unpleasant and difficult symptoms. When struggling like this, a coach I previously worked with taught me to practice extreme gratitude.

He’d been caught up in a terrorist attack in London. Shortly after this, he lost his dad to suicide. Practising gratitude felt impossible at a time of such devastation. He then introduced the practice of extreme gratitude.

First, he identified all the possible scenarios that never actually happened but would somehow have been worse and hard to imagine. He expressed gratitude for surviving the attack, for his beautiful wife, for the life he was rebuilding, and for the good times with his dad. He practised this extreme gratitude daily and found a new ability to cope with the pain ultimately enabling him to move forward with his life. I can tell you he’s in a very successful and content place today.

What can you be grateful for today? What scenario could be worse? Express extreme gratitude that this is not the case.

Reframe the Situation You Have Found Yourself In

I know you may be in a very worrying place right now, especially if you need to leave your job, are relying on others for help with daily life, and can’t see a way forward.

A big reframe was already present at the start of this article when I told you about the response to the tweet. Your ability to cope daily with awful symptoms and perhaps also side-effects of medications, has demonstrated how strong you are. You didn’t ask for this. You don’t want to be like this, but I know you’re fighting your way through. Looking for answers to multiple questions about why you’re ill and whether you’ll ever be cured.

I see you. I hear you. I feel you.

Your illness and ability to fight it every day is not a character flaw. You have shown so much courage. It is your strength! Add this to your list of strengths along with the many others I know you already have if only you would allow yourself to acknowledge them.

If you are currently facing chronic illness and need to dig your way back out of the negative quagmire, focus on your strengths, practise extreme gratitude, and reframe your illness which is not a weakness; it is your strength.

The next time someone makes a negative comment or observation, you can dismiss it and know for sure how strong you really are.

If this article helped, and I really hope it did, you might want to also read these.