A 7-Step Framework to Redefine and Achieve Success When Chronically Ill

Success and chronic illness don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

“Being a successful person is not necessarily defined by what you have achieved, but by what you have overcome.”- Fannie Flagg .

You can be an ambitious, successful and chronically ill person. There is a school of thought that believes I’m wrong.

What’s the point in being ambitious when you are too ill to create success?

I have personal experience.

At age 17, I was unwell with glandular fever. I fought my way through it and gained a place at university to study Pharmacy.

At age 30 I was diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). It stole my academic career, but I went on to have a successful career elsewhere.

I never gave up on my intentions in life. I did however have to reframe and redefine my version of success.

In Common With 65 million Other people, I Now Have Long Covid.

It’s a poorly understood condition with multiple theories on its cause, and no evidence-based treatment available.

It has impacted my ability to work and once again, I’ve had to redefine my version of success and set smaller goals aligned with this.

I’m Still Ambitious

Whilst unfortunate enough to be added to the Long Covid statistics, I still have ambition.

As do many other Long Haulers.

I’ve found solace in the Long Covid communities on Facebook and Twitter.

Not just solace.

I’ve found ideas and possible answers as we try to reframe our lives in the context of a chronic illness with an unknown prognosis.

One lady tweeted and inspired this article. I don’t know her name; she uses the twitter handle wading through treacle. Apt!

Wading through treacle tweeted that despite having been unwell for 15 years, she remains highly motivated. She still has goals, dreams, plans and a bucket list.

Like me she suffers from Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM)/Post-Exertional Symptom Exacerbation (PESE). This is the most limiting symptom threatening our hopes and ambitions.

Where To Begin?

I recently wrote about choosing my word for the year 2023. I couldn’t choose a word that would precipitate potential sabotage or failure.

I chose a word which I believe starts the journey towards reframing and redefining success as a chronically unwell ambitious individual.

That word is acceptance.

A 7-Step Framework for the Chronically Ill to Succeed

1. Acceptance

Accepting what has happened is key to getting started in what success now looks like for you.

It’s the last stage of grief as described in the Kübler-Ross model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance).

When chronically ill, you need to grieve for what is now lost.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself – Thich Nhat Hanh

2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

In a world advocating for survival of the fittest and promoting the hustle culture, realising you can’t compare is difficult, but necessary.

I was going to say it’s better to compare your today to your yesterday, but chronic illness symptoms can cruelly fluctuate. Perhaps compare this month to last, or this year to last.

“Focus on what others have and you feel that you have so little. Focus on what you do have and you realize that you have so much.” Hrishikesh Agnihotri

3. Remember You Are Still Unique

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” Dr Seuss

You still have strengths with plenty of life skills and experience. A diagnosis doesn’t take away who you are at your core. Your beliefs and values remain intact.

Your achievements don’t just disappear. No matter how great or small.

List and acknowledge all you are good at, and all you can still potentially do.

4. Be Honest with Yourself and Be Realistic

This is where we get real — and it’s the hardest part.

It’s okay to set yourself a goal. It’s sensible to set yourself a SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-constrained) goal.

I recently started writing here on Medium. It had been my ambition to start in early 2022 but Covid19 rudely interrupted. I quickly realised I can’t commit to writing and publishing daily. For now, I’m aiming to write one to two good quality articles per week.

5. Strategically Pace and Plan

It’s important to start each week with a plan. Add everything to your diary, and plan around it based on daily commitments. Prioritise, Plan and Pace.

Try implementing the 4 Ds of Time Management.

What must you do?

What could you delete from your diary?

What could you delegate to someone else?

What is not urgent and could be delayed until another time?

Pacing is also essential for many with chronic illness especially where cognitive and physical exertion can induce fatigue and PEM/PESE.

Build in rest time. Time block weekly tasks. Do the same for rest. Even when feeling well, don’t do too much. This is my greatest weakness but the effect of Boom and Bust isn’t worth it.

6. Go Easy on Yourself

Be self-compassionate.

Self-compassion has been defined as a healthy attitude toward oneself and is assumed to influence individuals’ evaluations of potentially threatening situations- Kristin Neff.

Research has shown that raising levels of self-compassion can improve well-being, especially in terms of cognitive and psychological health.

Go easy on yourself. The evidence suggests you’ll feel better for it.

7. Reward Yourself for Every Positive Step You Take

Something I like to do with SMART goals is to extend them further into SMARTER goals.

‘E’ is for Exciting.

‘R’ stands for Rewarding.

It is so much harder to set and achieve goals when chronically ill, therefore a reward is particularly merited. Rewards give a dopamine hit with the warm feeling of achievement leading to more motivation.

I’m not going to patronise you.

I know how difficult this journey is.

Allow for the bad days. They will still happen.

Embrace the good days. Make them matter.

Take baby steps. I’m taking them with you as I too am planning and redefining my own personal version of success.

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