Three Hilariously Genius Jokes That Will Brighten Up Your Day

Blink and you will miss these genius punchlines

Everyone loves a good joke, here are three exceptionally clever ones.

Disclaimer: much bad dad jokery ahead, you have been warned.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping. They pitch up their tent on the top of the hillside, then go to sleep. During the night, Holmes prods Watson and says, “Watson, my dear fellow, tell me what you see.”

Watson sits himself up and has a look around, then says, “Why, Holmes, I see billions and billions of stars.”

Holmes nods, “And what do you deduce from that, my dear fellow?”

Watson properly adjusts himself and has a good think, then says, “Well, as there are billions and billions of stars, there’s a good chance that there will be an earth-like planet out there. If there is an earthlike planet out there, there’s a good chance there will be life out there.”

Holmes stares at him in disbelief, “Watson, you idiot, it means somebody has stolen our bloody tent!”

A wife asks her husband what he wants for his fortieth birthday. He tells her that he wants a threesome. His wife, being a loving and giving wife, agrees and tells him that she will arrange it.

However, because it is hard work finding a woman for a threesome, she tells him she will need some help around the house with the tasks, just to give her time to look.

He says, “I would love to help, darling, but I already have a job to do. There’s no way I could fit in more.”

The wife says, “Could you not just try multitasking for a week?”

The husband insists he could not, “I’m a man, darling, it’s impossible for us to do more than one thing at a time. You should know that.”

The wife is a bit annoyed, but she decides it’s a fair comment, men do struggle with multitasking, and so she accepts his excuse. But even still, she asks him again the next day if he could just possibly try multitasking.

No, is the answer.

She asks him again the next day, and the next day, and the next, but each day the answer is the same, it’s impossible.

Then she no longer needs to ask, because she has managed to find a woman willing to be their threesome partner. The husband is super excited.

So excited, that come his birthday, all he can do all day is think about how amazing the evening is going to be.

However, to his surprise come the evening, after all his family and friends have left, he finds it is just him and his wife. He asks her where her friend is, and she tells him that she is not coming.

“What? Why?” he says.

“Well,” she says, “because you just spent the last week proving that you can’t do more than one thing at a time.”

A woman is furious with her husband, so furious that she grabs his prized golf clubs, throws them into the back of her car, drives up to a woodland, carries those golf clubs into the middle of that woodland, and then dumps them in a place where nobody will ever have a hope of finding them.

However, while she is doing this she sees a trapped frog. At first, she ignores it and just sits down and begins pondering all the ways she’s going to have her husband assassinated, she is that angry at him. But then, out of the blue, the frog speaks.

“If you free me,” the frog says, “I will give you three wishes.”

The woman is stunned that the frog has spoken, but deciding it sounds like a good deal, she frees it.

The frog then says, “As you have freed me, you now will get three wishes. But there are two rules, the first is that you cannot wish ill on another, and the second is that whatever you wish for, your husband will get whatever that is times by ten.”

The woman immediately feels irate, her husband getting ten times whatever she wishes for, it’s outrageous. Why should he benefit? But then she has an idea, an idea she feels is so genius, she can’t help but smile as she makes her first wish. “I wish to be the richest person alive,” she says.

“As you wish,” says the frog.

She then becomes the richest person alive, but only for a second, because her husband then becomes worth ten times more. She then makes her second wish. “I wish to be the best-looking person alive.”

“As you wish,” says the frog.

For a moment, she becomes the best-looking person alive, but then her husband becomes ten times better-looking. She then makes her final wish. “I wish to have a mild heart attack.”

The frog pauses, stunned. “Are you sure?” it says.

“Yes,” she says.

She then has a mild heart attack and is never seen again, whereas her husband, he goes on to live a long and fulfilling life as the richest and best-looking man alive.

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