This One Key Thing Has me Enjoying Life More
Can you guess what it is from reading this post? Also, do check out the Colors of Life December prompt!
Judging eyes, disapproving tone filled with contempt…
“He stood you up again? The things you do for a little love and affection…have some self-respect, will you?!”
I burst into tears because the words cut me to the core…exactly what the other person was aiming for.
But what they will never stop to think is I could have a much more vibrant social life but I chose not to out of my love for them. And because I know how much they fear losing me despite those mean words.
Yes, I am a caregiver.
Sometimes it does feel like a pressure cooker. One has to find a way to let off steam or simply explode.
People rarely see the person beyond their external appearance.
It can be difficult to comprehend that a beautiful woman may have a totally mundane and unglamorous life behind closed doors.
For me, it is the unending doctor visits that have taken over my life in the past couple of years. It is not only the constant worry with regard to the health of the family member I care for but also, the harsh criticism that comes my way (born out of their frustration of not being able to do the things they used to do before becoming unwell).
Given my constraints, I find writing to be therapeutic. It helps me forget and keeps me from letting my thoughts run away from me. But sometimes, that is not enough.
I am grateful I have someone in my life who understands what it means to be a caregiver and is willing to work around my schedule.
Is that real love? If it is not, then I don’t know what is.
And just like he understands my constraints, isn’t it only fair that I understand his as well?
For example, there have been times I have dressed up to go out only to receive a call that he’s been held up at the hospital. I am frustrated, sure, because I have been looking forward to our time together but then over time, I realize there is nothing called a perfect relationship.
We do the best we can.
He didn’t come on the day we had planned to meet, nonetheless, he made it up to me by taking me out yesterday. Contrary to what you would think — the setting was nothing exotic — just the local mall and it was just the two of us, him tired after a grueling shift (but happy to see me) and me, emotionally exhausted (but happy to see him).
The mall was surprisingly empty even though it was Cyber Monday and it felt like the Universe had planned it so that we had this festively decorated winter wonderland all to ourselves.
I haven’t laughed this hard (can’t remember what about) for a long time like I did yesterday and who knew a simple hot chocolate from Starbucks could taste this good?
🌸So here we come to the Colors of Life prompt for the month of December and it is: What are the little things that light up your heart?
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Here are 2 reads I enjoyed this week:
