This New Low Carbon Diet is Bad For You
Doctors say, don’t fall for the hype
You may have heard about the latest fad, the Low Carbon Diet. When it comes to weight loss, there’s no denying that it’s effective. Those who follow it report losing up to 20 pounds a week! Maybe you saw Instagram influencer Mona Lott (pictured above) showing off her new figure on that beach with her beau, Joe King and talking about how easy it was to ditch the weight fast.
But while you might be tempted to jump on this bandwagon, doctors tell us that this kind of rapid weight loss is bad news.
Here’s what world famous Dr. Dang Lin-Wang had to tell us. He was recently interviewed at his clinic in Climax, Saskatchewan, Canada, where he works as a professional manscaper and pornography historian. He gave his professional opinion on the Low Carbon diet craze.
“It’s just not safe,” Lin-Wang claimed. “This diet is way too restrictive. Thank goodness most people can’t handle the cravings and will never stick to it! Please, talk to your family physician before going on this brutal regimen.”
What’s off the menu
Skip all of these fattening items to lose weight fast, just like all those Instagram important people! Here’s a list of prohibited foods on the low carbon diet:
- red meat- contains carbon atoms
- white meat- contains the element of carbon
- raw, pink meat- carbon again
- pasta, rice, potatoes, bread- calories in the form of carbon
- cooked vegetables- yup, carbon
- raw veggies- carbon!
- cardboard boxes and sawdust- way too much carbon!
Here’s what’s for dinner
The list of allowable items is small, but at least all of these elements are easy to find and most are low cost:
- oxygen
- hydrogen
- nitrogen
- helium- mostly as a dessert snack
Recipes include combining oxygen and hydrogen for a delicious liquid meal called hydrogen dioxide. Another bonus- hardly any dishes!
Listen to the experts
Dr. Dang Lin-Wang warns us to always include plenty of carbon based food in any nutrition plan. “It’s really important to eat food! You can’t rely on substances that don’t contain carbon. You might be okay at first, but you’ll soon run out of what we experts like to call life, and your body will become what forensic scientists call a cadaver.”
Not everyone agrees with this assessment. Breatharians have been claiming for years that their “food free lifestyle” is the most pure and spiritual diet possible. In this article in The New York Post, one lady claimed that “Humans can easily be without food — as long as they are connected to the energy that exists in all things and through breathing.” ‘Breatharian’ couple survives on ‘the universe’s energy’ instead of food
Still want to give the Low Carbon Diet a whirl? Check out the meal plan here!