This Is Your Reminder That Breastfeeding Is Hard AF
For starters, let’s talk about nipples
There’s a lot of talk about breastfeeding lately. Many people have opinions on how easy it is, how it is the most acceptable way to feed a baby, and, yes, how it would solve many of the problems parents currently face.
For fuck’s sake…
Here’s the thing, friends: many of the above statements come from the romantic idea that once a baby shoots out of a vagina, they will magically latch onto a nipple and effortlessly suck on milk.
The problem, of course, is that breastfeeding is not that straightforward. Tell you the truth, sometimes it can be hard as fuck.
Nipple Shape
Did you know that not all nipples have the same shape? Really, they can be very different, from person to person, and even from breast to breast.
This could make for entertaining small talk, but right now, what concerns us is that when nipples are too wide, flat, or even inverted, it can become more challenging to get a baby to latch correctly. This could add an extra layer of stress to the first days of breastfeeding as the baby learns how to eat.
Thirteen years ago, when I had my kid, I was faced with a particular situation that illustrates how nipple shape can complicate things.
In my case, I had flat nipples. I had never heard a complaint, by the way. However, in those first hours of motherhood, as I tried to get my newborn to latch, I found myself wondering just what the heck I was doing wrong. Add to that, I was blessed with the presence of a particular nurse who had the nerve to tell me, “pity you don’t know how to do it, you do seem to have a lot of milk. What a waste.”
No, that did not help.
In the end, they had to give my son some formula because he was hungry.
Once I got home, I used a breast pump to help give my nipples the “proper shape.” Basically, I would pump for a few minutes and then, as fast as possible, position my baby so he could latch.
It took me several days to get the hang of it, so, at least for me, breastfeeding wasn’t a fairy tale. And, if you paid attention to what other parents have to say, you would realize it rarely is.
Pumping at Work
And then it came time to go back to work. Back then, I was allowed two months of maternal leave. During that time, I would mostly breastfeed, although we would give the baby some formula occasionally.
However, once I had to go back to work, I knew the balance would shift.
I know I would need to pump at least twice during my shift. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a place where I could adequately wash my pump, except for a quick rinse. Therefore, I acquired two breast pumps so I would always have a clean one to use.
Now, please, do notice I said I would need to pump twice a day. There were two reasons for that.
- When your breasts are bursting with milk but, at the moment, you can’t feed your baby, the situation becomes overly painful. Therefore, pumping becomes essential to avoid discomfort and even to prevent mastitis.
- When it comes to breastfeeding, demand generates supply, meaning the more the baby sucks on your breast, the more milk you will produce. Pretty neat, huh? So, to keep previous production levels, it becomes necessary to pump while at work. Otherwise, your breasts will reduce their milk production.
However, as a teacher, pumping at work came with its own set of challenges. First of all, there wasn’t a proper place where I could do it. So I would sneak around between periods to pump in one of the cubicles. First, I would lock the door, clean the place, set up all of my equipment, and pump as fast as possible because I had to do it between classes. Then, I would hide the milk bottles at the back of the fridge in the teacher’s lounge, carefully wrapped in a plastic bag.
I also carried a small cooler with me and kept some blue ice in the freezer so that when it came time to go home, I could safely transport the precious liquid. Once there, I would carefully clean the pumps and get ready to repeat the process the next day.
Sigh…
So, yes, breast milk was the primary source of nutrition during the first months of my son’s life. However, we would always keep some formula at home in case the baby was extra hungry, which ended up happening as he grew up.
Parenting is already hard enough.
Breastfeeding is more convenient than bottle feeding; that part is true. After all, you don’t need to heat anything, nor do you have to check if you have the correct temperature. However, do not for a moment think it is a walk in the park. Add to that, if a person becomes the sole source of food for a baby, then things could get very tricky.
Parenting is already hard enough; we really don’t need to increase the challenge. So, even though breast milk is deemed the ideal for feeding a baby, we need to have alternative sources of nutrition available.
As many parents have commented on social media, breastfeeding is not available for everybody — the why doesn't matter. The critical issue at hand is to make sure babies won’t go hungry.
So, please, let’s not overly romanticize breastfeeding. It is complicated, messy, and painful, and it would be great if we could give people time and space to get it right. And let’s cut it with the shaming of those who, for whatever reason, are taking the bottle feeding route.
You know what’s terrible? When people go hungry, especially when they are babies. Maybe focus your energy on that instead of judging those who cannot do things “the classic way?” I, for one, would pump to that.
