Gardening 101

This Is Why You Should Only Water Flowers And Not Wasps

Flowers will thank you, Wasps will bite your legs off.

Wasps are nasty buggers I tell you. If the wasps call for their friends, you will regret some life choices.

I did.

We get so absorbed in our little worlds that we don’t appreciate what’s around us.

I decided to change that and one day I daydreamed of being David Attenborough. I was there in my garden trying to observe nature.

I noticed traffic in my garden. A constant movement of wasps in and out from the same place. They must be after something.

I inspected a bit closer and noticed a small hole near a manhole entrance.

What the heck?! I found a bottleneck point with some wasp’s butts on display.

Great Scott! It was a wasp’s nest. Shit, I didn’t even know that they could build nests underground.

I thought of this brilliant idea to take care of them.

Wasps won’t drown in your ignorance.

There are only a few of them, I’m going to drown them.

I jumped to get my water hose, connected to the kitchen tap water, and aimed at the wasp’s butts.

Drown, drown annoying little bugs!

Without noticing it, they were battling against the gush of water and started to take off. The first thing they saw, was me and the water hose.

It was at this moment I understood that I fucked up.

The first one came straight at me. His buddies weren’t so far off, with their weapons on.

They managed to bite me not once, not twice, but three times. Scared as shit, I start running and screaming like a sissy.

I was so busy to notice that I had an audience and I was running straight at them. I ran past them when I realized that the wasp army wasn’t after me anymore.

They retreated to their headquarters.

The workers were staring at me. They didn’t know if they should laugh or have pity for me. You know which one will be.

Err…there were too many of them. — I mumbled.

Don’t be stubborn like me. Ask for advice and help.

Ok, I understood that it was a big nest. There were so many of them coming out from that hole.

I never handled this situation, so I google it.

I needed a terminator to remove the threat. It has to be by other means than drowning them.

You’re witness, I’ve tried!

I wanted the best. Arnold was busy shooting another sequel, so I went for the next best bug exterminator.

He arrived and identified the threat. He grabbed a canister with white powder and shoveled it inside the hole. He rushes inside of his car.

Smart man, he poked the bear. It took 5 minutes to see the wasps dropping like flies after sniffing the white powder.

I took care of the threat! Check in a few days for signs of any activity — says the man yanking $400 from my hands.

With my balls cut off and engulfed with shame, I could be at ease now. So I thought.

Two days later, I checked the hole from the window. I couldn’t believe it. I saw some activity in the hole.

I could hear the wasps laughing at me through the window.

It was time to shake off my pride if there was one, and ask for help this time.

Here’s what I did and suggest to anyone smarter than me:

Tip #1: Ask a friend. There are friends that I have gone through this. Ask them and you will see how easy it is to get a solution that works! Heck, they’ve experienced it too!

Tip #2: Do your research. Spend more time searching for proven solutions. Get opinions in community forums and spend more time searching for cheaper solutions. Consult other offers too.

Going for the finest and well-known doesn’t guarantee success. Your wallet gets thinner too.

Tip #3: Go to a store and ask for advice. Garden centers have customers who have dealt with this kind of experience. They also have what you need to deal with the issue by yourself.

I’ve never felt so dumb in my whole life. It only took the same white power on the local store and $20 to take care of the business.

I make sure that I use all the white powder. I wanted to make sure that this time it was for good.

With someone like me, it’s not a good idea to have white powder in my hands.

You’ll never know when my gray matter stops working.

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I’ll see you in the next one.