This is What Real Mental Toughness Looks Like.

In the Western world, we're being fed the lie that we deserve everything we want.

We only deserve what we've worked for or are willing to work for, and nobody wants to hear that.

We're too concerned with hurting people's feelings rather than preparing them and teaching them what it actually takes to build something worthwhile.

We're not teaching people that emotions are fleeting and should only be used as guides to tell us what's happening inside us. We should not rely on them to make critical decisions.

This is a foundational step of true metal toughness.

To act logically, despite what your emotions may be telling you.

Look at what's happening in your life objectively, and instead of reacting, sit with your emotions, let them pass, analyze them, and then decide whether they should be taken into account towards the final decision.

We're letting our emotions get the best of us, sabotaging our efforts.

I've done this in the past and keep seeing it in the world around me.

I've seen people sabotage future opportunities because the one they wanted now didn't pan out exactly like they had hoped or planned.

I've seen people curse out their employers, quit jobs, or worse, hurt themselves and other people because their emotions got the best of them at that moment.

Later, they realize how deeply they regret their actions.

But because they weren't aware of what they were doing in their fit of rage, anger, frustration, etc., they couldn't stop themselves from causing irreversible damage.

They couldn't prevent themselves from crossing a line they wouldn't have crossed if their minds were clear.

Self-control is a true marker of mental toughness — not letting your emotions dictate your actions, especially during difficult, trying moments.

We don't practice self-reflection and self-awareness.

If we can't recognize we have a problem in the first place, how are we supposed to fix it?

We can't.

You know that saying, 'You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'? The same idea applies to self-reflection and awareness.

You cannot fix what you don't see is broken, even if others tell you it needs fixing.

Self-awareness and self-reflection are the tools that can help you create a cycle of improvement, allowing you to gradually get better at whatever you choose to do or pursue.

Unfortunately, only some of us are choosing to practice this daily.

Which leads to my next point.

We're not holding ourselves accountable for the poor decisions we've made and continue to make.

And it's stopping us from growing and changing.

When we're not constantly practicing self-awareness and reflecting on our actions daily, we cannot point out the ones sabotaging our efforts.

We're unable to look in the mirror and be honest about our bad habits, let alone figure out what they are in the first place.

I recently wrote a blog about identifying one of the many bad habits I have that is getting in the way of improving as a writer.

And it inspired me to dig a little deeper, which helped me develop the idea for this blog.

I call this mental toughness because it requires a lot of mental prowess to be honest with yourself about your shortcomings and take action to change them.

Only some people, in fact, are able to do this.

Fortunately, you only need to do one thing to start making monumental changes.

How do we break this sick cycle that keeps us stuck?

By opening your mind.

Not everything has to be the way you've been taught or seen.

The only way you will allow change to come into your life is by opening your mind to other possibilities.

Act in humility.

People misunderstand humility. They think it's downplaying your accomplishments and wins and not acknowledging your abilities and strengths.

But that's not what humility is. Humility is accepting that, like your strengths, you also have weaknesses. It's accepting that you're not perfect and don't know everything, but you do know something.

It's holding space and respecting a difference of opinion. Just because you disagree doesn't mean you get a pass at being disrespectful.

This is the ultimate form of mental toughness and emotional maturity— maintaining self-control and composure when your values and beliefs are challenged, rejected, or denied.

It's not easy, but it's certainly possible.

If there's one thing I would like for you to take from all this, it is to keep your mind open to different or new ideas and ways of doing things.

If you're open to the idea and possibility of change, you can now move your life forward in whichever direction you want.