This Is the Reason Why Morons Have Access to the Internet

Last week my 7-year-old daughter asked me why her classmate Timmy had stolen her banana-flavored snack during lunchtime.

“It’s not a kind thing to do; he knows the banana-flavored snacks are my favorite.” She said, not crying but still very sensitive about it.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but I went for the truth. “It’s because Timmy is a moron. He knows it and is very frustrated. He might even be jealous you already know how to play chess and can speak three languages. But above all, he wants to be seen. And upsetting you is the way he found. You understand?”

“Is it like when you’re upset about the stupid comments people leave on your articles on the internet?”

“YES! Exactly! I need these idiotic comments to push myself and my writing further. And, in the same manner, you need Timmy’s upsetting behavior to grow emotionally.”

My lovely daughter didn’t get it at first, but I explained to her the main reason morons have access to the internet, and she understood what she should do with Timmy.

Morons make us feel good.

Let’s be honest; we’re all pretty dumb.

We’re driven by emotions, not by rationality, and it shows. Just watch the news any day of the year, and you’ll see what I mean.

We somehow know about it, yet, we keep on being stupid.

That makes us feel bad about ourselves; sometimes, we even get depressed. But interactions with morons help.

Remember last time you watched Jeopardy. Kristen took “They Were Right” for $1600 and failed. But YOU knew the question. Felt good, right?

It’s the same with morons but TEN times better. At least.

From this point of view, the internet is a magical place. In the comfort of your home, safely lying on your couch, you can read the comments morons left on some random news articles and feel good about yourself.

You can even share the moronic “thoughts” with friends or spouses and connect with them at the expense of a moron somewhere in the world.

“Hahaha, look at this, honey! Can you believe someone wrote this?! What a moron!” And then you laugh for a few minutes with your partner.

The best morons might even help you get some fun later in the evening.

Isn’t it fabulous?

We should be extra thankful for the internet and the morons in our lives. They’re the constant reminders we need that we’re not that stupid after all.

What happened next

A few days later, there were again banana-flavored snacks for dessert at school. My daughter went to Timmy and gave him her snack. Timmy was surprised and asked her why.

“I wanted to thank you for being a moron and making me feel good about myself.”

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