Serious Humor | Intelligence
This is my Plan to Supercharge my I.Q. to 180 Points by 2359 Tonight!
A moon-shot in the making!
Disclaimer: Intelligence is very individual. Everyone I know is intelligent in their own right. This is a humor piece intended to poke fun at funny behaviors. That is it!
People do not want to be perceived as stupid. I doubt there will be any objections here. However, I want to be stand out. To do that, I need to be intelligent.
Yes, I am here to play offense!
A prophetic dream kept replaying in my subconscious while I was asleep last night. An Einstein-like bloke pointed me in the direction of the Sagittarius constellation where the Sun is and told me that my moment is here. This is what he said: -
“Lo and Behold, you will be bestowed with 181.35 IQ points by 2359 hours of 4th May 2021. Wake up and accept your destiny, dimwit!”
I opened my eyes in shock. My phone shows 4 in the morning, and my pillow is covered with a sweat patch.
I remembered thinking what a scary dream that is!
I had to complete the fear response generated by my mind and body, so I made my way to pee. It is funny how we never fail to pee when we are fearful. If you happen to know why, please drop your nuggets of wisdom as a comment below.
On my way to the pee-stop, I noticed a glimmer of light rapidly escaping from my abode to the West. It resembles a shooting star.
At this point, I have become a complete convert to human’s potential to multi-task. I was engaging in deep thinking as I pee.
What a marvel, is that not?
And I came out of the toilet with newfound inspiration.
Maybe the prophet is right. I have been mediocre for too long. It is time Destiny would give me my rightful opportunity to be rise to the top.
That was 4:34 in the morning.
I went to work quickly, researching the various definition of intelligence.
These are my findings.
On Average Intelligence Quotient (I.Q.) Points
Quick research on the internet showed me the highest average I.Q. scores by country. Check it out: -
Hong Kong (108)
Singapore (108)
South Korea (106)
China (105)
Japan (105)
Taiwan (104)
Italy (102)
Switzerland (101)
Mongolia (101)
Iceland (101)
Wow. This is the average I.Q. score by country, and it does look skewed to the lower end. I am based in Singapore, and that places me on an average of 108 points.
Not good.
Is my I.Q. score really standing at 108 points?
It is 4:43 in the morning by now.
I searched for a quick and dirty I.Q. test on the internet and did an assessment to verify my rightful place in this universe.
My test results show 131.2207 points.
Phew!
At least that is closer to 180 points than the national average!
After finding out where I am, it is time for an action plan to close the gap.
Further Fact-Finding
There is a raft of research demonstrating multi-intelligences. That goes to show we are all intelligent in some way or another.
That is not my focus. I need to find ways to leap-frog into the future!
And I chanced upon these 2 types of intelligence: -
- Fluid Intelligence.
- Crystallized Intelligence.
Fluid Intelligence is defined as such: -
Fluid intelligence involves being able to think and reason abstractly and solve problems. This ability is considered independent of learning, experience, and education.
This is the definition for Crystallised Intelligence: -
Crystallized intelligence is based upon facts and is rooted in experiences. As we age and accumulate new knowledge and understanding, crystallized intelligence becomes stronger.
Okay, got it.
It is an elegant way of saying the following. We need to solve complex problems beyond comprehension to increase our Fluid Intelligence. We have to know more about the world to supercharge our Crystallised Intelligence.
By now, my phone is showing 4:57 am.
Time is ticking away.
And fast.
A Plan to Increase Fluid Intelligence
I was thinking fast and hard about this topic.
What are the complex issues of our time?
I thought of the following: -
- Climate Change.
- Beating my dad at chess.
- Beating my aunt at Sudoku.
- How to win the Olympic Gold Medal every 4 years.
Each of these problems presents a different level of difficulty.
Climate change is a tough one. The issue is prominent and yet what we have to do on a global scale is dramatic. Honestly, it blows my mind.
Maybe, I have to start from a place closer to home. I need to start with my young cousin.
This little dwarf is an annoying dude. He forbids me from switching on the air-conditioner on a 34-degree Celsius day. I threw him out of the house for 30 minutes, and he rushed home sweating buckets, insisting on power on the air-conditioner because he is dying.
Sigh.
Resolve aside. The Climate Crisis is indeed a complex problem.
Beating my dad and aunt is going to be a tough one. They have many years of experience under their belt, and I barely understood what the games are for. I made my appointment to play 100 games with them this afternoon anyway.
Then, of course, I have to head for my Ironman Triathlon workout immediately after submitting this story.
The Olympic Gold Medal waits for no man.
And it is already 5:09 in the morning.
A Plan to Increase Crystallised Intelligence
This is easy.
I am going to gobble up all the books on my table. To ensure that the knowledge consumed (literally) is stuck in my head, I am writing stories about them.
Simple does it here.
A Quick-Take Summary
I do not have the time to write a summary.
I need to work on realizing my prophecy!
If you need any form of summary for this story, I encourage you to read all the headers again.
You will get a clear snapshot of what you just read.
Adieus!
And, it is 5:12 in the morning! There is no time to waste!
Aldric
About the Author:
As a content contributor, I write my observations from daily life and my business exposure.
Because our life experience is the bedrock of our unique perspectives.