This Is How I Cured My Sadness

Summary

The author found relief from personal sadness and a loss of motivation through the unexpected therapy of babysitting and service to others.

Abstract

The author describes a period of personal struggle characterized by a lack of motivation and a sense of darkness in their life. Despite being a top performer at work, they found themselves increasingly needing time off. A turning point came when a friend asked the author to babysit her children, an offer the author accepted despite not being paid. This new responsibility brought structure and purpose to the author's life, as they cared for the children in the mornings and evenings while maintaining their job. The routine and act of serving others led to an improvement in the author's mental state, aligning with the idea that service can be a powerful antidote to personal troubles.

Opinions

The author initially struggled to identify the root cause of their sadness.
The fear of debt was less motivating than a friend's challenge, indicating the power of social influence.
Despite the unexpected demands of babysitting, including caring for sick children, the author found fulfillment in the role.
The author believes that work and helping others who are also in need can alleviate personal worry and weariness.
The experience of serving the children brought joy and a new sense of focus to the author, suggesting that service can be therapeutic.
The author agrees with Gordon B. Hinckley's quote about the benefits of serving others, implying that the act of helping can be more rewarding for the server than the served.

Service was my antidote

My March came with dark clouds. I would wake up and just want to stay in bed. I lost my mojo for life, for work and play. My family would call with many requests and I would ask them to take a rain check. At least, this was an improvement from before, when I wouldn’t say no.

I couldn’t put my finger on what the issue was, but I knew something was off. I increasingly took time off work. It surprised my boss cos it was out of character. He’d once commented that I was the MVP of the team. Well, even the best of us have shit days.

The offer

The fear of drowning in debt didn’t scare me at first. A friend’s taunts did the magic. It got me out of bed, but I doubted its sustainability. While all this was happening, a friend buzzed me. My gut told me she would make a request of me that was difficult. I didn’t take her call. She buzzed a couple more times within one week. Eventually, I took her call.

She wanted me to babysit her kids. She needed to leave town for a couple of days. Now, I had been having a tough time at work. Those dark clouds hanging over my head were affecting it badly. I wanted out. I knew I needed a change of environment. So when she asked me to babysit her kids, I thought perhaps this might be it. At first, I thought she would pay me for the service and I wouldn’t have to bother about income from the office.

It turned out she couldn’t afford to pay me. She, however, stocked up supplies in the house; groceries, cooked food, and consumables so I wouldn’t bother. She reminded me her kids were pretty independent and had a schedule they knew to follow. Basically, she tried to sell the job as a walkover.

I took her offer. I needed a change of some sort and saw this as an opportunity. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. My morning schedule was now thus; wake up, pray, hydrate with 1.5l of water, bathroom time, and prepare my breakfast. By this time, the kids would be awake.

My duty to them was to organize their breakfast and the contents of their school lunchboxes. They sorted out their baths and school outfits. Sometimes, I would need to cajole them if we were running late or someone woke up moody. Once or twice, I tried praying with them. I couldn’t sustain that practice. Things took a twist when they all took ill. Their mum didn’t anticipate this. Neither did I. My routine now included offering healthcare at home. When that was all sorted, I would head to the office.

What was interesting about it all?

For weeks, I had lost my motivation for living. You could say I was depressed. Being with these kids gave me a completely new focus. I forgot about those dark clouds, or maybe the dark clouds forgot about me. I would give these kids care in the morning, go to my workplace and provide service, come home to ensure everyone had lunch, reiterate the bedtime schedule then fall asleep like a log. This cycle would start again the next day. I did this for a week.

One day, one kid said to me: “Aunty, are you leaving soon? It’s fun having you around.” I told him I would return soon.

It was as if Gordon B. Hinckley was thinking about me when he said:

“The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.”