Things No One Told Me about Parenting
Which should have been in the same breath
Carrying for a newborn.
Traveling with a Child
So, let’s start here for today.
Packing
- warm milk bottle ✔
- car seat ✔
- bottle warmer ✔
- extra milk bottles in an insulated bag with ice packs ✔
Diaper bag ✔
- with extra clothes (onesies and pants)
- diapers
- rash cream
- changing pad
- blanket
- lighter blanket
- sleepers
- socks
- wet wipes
- mouth & nosefridas
- burp towels
- pacifier
- and hats
I guess it’s no one’s job to give details past that. I talked with my wife about this and we both wished that when the dozen or more people that gave us advice about this (such as hospital staff, etc.) had the audacity to take 5 extra seconds to elaborate on the following.
What I Learned with my Baby Girl
- We need 2 bottles ready. Having one bottle ready doesn’t work when: she wants more than little 60 ml bottles we had, the bottle spills, she pukes, and more situations that happen. For us it is that she drinks more, about 80% of the time and 20% of the time she pukes. There have been many times that she finished a bottle and I started warming up another bottle, then we were stopped at stop lights too much and woke up and wanted more milk. Always keep your car moving.
- With bottle feeding, babies need burped, naturally. So, you can’t feed a whole bottle to a baby when they are in a car seat. Babies will choke on milk sometimes and sometimes will puke if they have a big air bubble they can’t get out. If they are in the car seat and puke, that stuff gets in all the cracks in the seatbelt mechanism and buckle and flows down in the fabric. Then your next rest stop will be right now, probably will not be a good area to stop at, and will obliterate your time frame.
So, with feeding my wife and I will stop at rest stops to feed. At rest stops, my wife will go to the restroom as I change the baby. When my wife comes back I’ll be already feeding the baby, then my wife will pump with a pump shawl on. My wife advises all women to go to the restroom before pumping — let’s just say there’s no other way to do it ✔. We always change the baby before feeding.
- Have two burp towels ready. I fling two burpels (I call them) on my shoulder at all times. If the baby is not feeling well and another dozen reasons for puking, then your shirt and the baby’s stays clean. Some mothers have laughed that I always have two, but you won’t find me without two.
- Although we were told that pacifiers and bottles will ruin breastfeeding, we found out that means we will always need the wife’s pump with her, because breastfeeding will then take literally 5x as long, because the baby will struggle.
- Changing a baby while me sitting in a car’s seat may be the most climate controlled space, but for shorter people the baby will slide towards the knees and for taller people the baby will slide towards their waist.
There was a time when the baby slid down to my waist (I tried to extend my legs more, but couldn’t — cars…) and took the diaper off. Once I folded the diaper underneath her, I went to grab the wet wipe. Instantaneously she peed and it went over her diaper because it was folded, and got on my shirt. And people said just to worry about boys… right, thanks. You have only one hand, because the other hand is obviously holding the baby’s feet up, so folding the diaper before grabbing the wet wipe.
- Breastfeeding. Works. If you stop the car. There are times when I can use a bottle, if the baby has already had a full meal, and she will eat a little more while the car is in drive.
- Pacifiers. You will need a pacifier with a lanyard and one without. And other types, as well, for full range baby support and care. Lanyard pacifiers, or at least the one I have, does not work in the car seat because it has teething balls on the string, preventing full range flexibility. So, after she falls asleep and her lips lose grip, that will fling out of her mouth. Plus, if I don’t clip the lanyard, then the weight of the teethers will pull it out of her mouth anyways. And you have multiple for when one is dirty and/or lost.
- You will need a multi-thermos carrier. Your drink, your spouses drink, the bottle, and the bottle warmer (or a thermos with hot water in it).
- If the baby did not eat a full meal for whatever reason, you’re behind schedule and rushed them, etc. then you will get them off their schedule/routine and you will not get on our laptop any sooner. Keep the baby on their routine/schedule! Babies and infants on a good and normal-for-humans-schedule and routine will thrive and develop better. If the baby has to stress over wet diapers, being hungry, being squeezed by the car seat straps because the parents don’t know how to use it, etc. that will take away from them learning. Foster good development, your life now molds around them. I still have all my hobbies. They are just not at the same times.
- Humility. Parents with humility are parents that are flexible and are parents that care to learn and adjust as needed.
- Driving. Parents, look, the way you drive makes me cringe and run into you for the sake of humanity. When there’s lights in front of you, act like they just E-braked and act accordingly. If you judge that they will move and so you don’t break, if they do end up stopping, then you will slam on your brakes and two things could happen. 1) you will jerk your baby. 2) the car behind you will hit you (and it should be your fault for not learning defensive driving skills).
I’ve never been in a car wreck and I travel about 30,000 miles a year and been in the military police. I study the traffic in front, beside, and behind me. Once Google says “speed trap ahead” and traffic goes haywire for no reason, you could put your baby at risk. It’s like that commercial where the car rides so smooth that they end up at their camping location with a sleeping baby and no spilt coffee. We are fostering good development, not keeping annoying adult habits.
Thanks for reading! Thanks positive comments and stories!! Thanks for sharing!!!