These Six Lessons Will Get You Moving to the Front

Lessons from a crowded room

There is always space at the front of the crowded seminar room. It is the same with life. Are you looking to get ahead in your career or attain a leadership position or be a top writer on Medium? Life is crowded at the bottom.

The rear of the room is crammed with people straining their necks to see. A group of teenagers dressed alike in dark faded jackets and trainers. Bearded young men straight from the office in tailored suits and polished shoes. Older women, or young? It is hard to tell, all wrapped up in snug winter coats — varying shades of black and browns.

Why do only a few people succeed? The majority of people play at being average, crowded together at the rear. They remain at the back of the room squashed with everyone else craning their necks to see. The middle never moves — they simply stay put. Yet there is empty space — always at the front.

I stepped into a crowded room recently, late to a meeting. There were two entrances to the the room, the white door at the front which was unlocked, but closed and the back door — wide open. Like most latecomers, I avoided the front door. Instead, I snuck in through the back door with my back hunched and eyes to the floor as though invisibility is given with a bowed neck. I scanned the room for empty seats. ‘excuse me,’ ‘sorry,’ whispered words barely heard as I made a beeline to the last inconspicuous row.

Is this how your life is? Walking apologetically looking for the easiest hidden corner?

As I headed for the back corner of the room, I said, Not again.

The anatomy of a full room

The process of filling up a seminar room is always the same. The early birds avoid the front and pick a space most convenient for their peculiar sensibilities — at the aisle for convenience — at the middle for the views — in a corner to sleep. The early bird has all choices. The rest simply fill the middle — still avoiding the front. Latecomers and the disinterested squash at the back.

“The front is always special, reserved for those that are worth it” Never said, but implied and accepted — this predictable behaviour of humans guarantees there is always space at the front.

I pushed through the crowd and headed for the front of the room and learnt six lessons along the way.

1. Accept yourself, as you are

Late to the party? — even better? In life, coming late does not disqualify you. It prepares you and when you get there, you appreciate it more. Love yourself.

This is how I introduce myself without reservations.

2. Get ready to push

Why are some people scared of the top? They can’t fathom why you make the effort. All standing nose to back, shoulder to shoulder. No one is gonna make a way, you gonna have to push through. Get the experience and skills you need and push.

As a newbie on Medium, I reflected on my first week and outlined what I learnt and asked for more tips from older members.

3. Look forward

You will step on toes, you may have to shove someone a little, but keep looking forward. making others uncomfortable is part of the process. Be gentle, be polite, be kind. Do not stop to explain. Keep it forward. Be bold and take calculated chances

4. Ignore the ‘haters’

You can feel embarrassed, but have no shame. The top is your goal. You are worth it and you deserve it. Ignore the looks, the judgement, even the ‘scared love’ from friends because you are stretching your boundaries. You are one with your journey. Value who you are and keep positive.

5. Spot the gaps

Walk with your eyes wide open. Spot the opportunities to slip through as the teenager turns aside. Avoid the bottlenecks of friends chatting. Keep your eyes open for obstacles on the floor — a pile of coats, a foot, bags. Develop yourself and learn — all the time.

6. Make decisions as you move

Do not stop and plan a route — the room is changing — all the time. Hands raised in greetings — the slim man leans towards his wife, smiling — The young girl steps away, doubled in a belly laugh. As you walk, make snap decisions, change your route to suit. Walk through the middle — veer to the edge, go low or go high — keep changing as the room swells. Be flexible

Are you there?

I am a strong believer that once you start to move in a determined focused manner, that things move for you. First, things move within you — the limitations, fears, mindset begin to change. Then external responses happen. Doors open, people change attitude, and finally mountain moves.

There is always room at the top. Make your way there.

Motivation from the Mess, is a tongue-in-cheek series I write on personal and career development. Using random examples from everyday life, movies, songs and events to teach important life lessons.

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