These 2 Invisible Muscles Control Your Mental Health
How To Train Them To The Size of Arnold’s Biceps
The Two Invisible Muscles
Humans have two mental and emotional muscles. But we often only use one.
Evolutionarily, humans have two primal survival drives: To seek pleasure and avoid pain.
To meet these inherent needs, we use our control muscles to manufacture our inner and outer worlds.
We alter our body language and words to control how others perceive us to avoid rejection (pain) and gain approval (pleasure).
We contemplate, strategize, research, and overthink to avoid failure (pain) and gain success (pleasure).
We manipulate the people closest to us to avoid disapproval (pain) and satisfy our biological needs for love and connection (pleasure).
We use drugs, alcohol, Netflix, and socializing to alieve stress and anxiety (pain) to feel euphoria and joy (pleasure).
Our ability to use our minds to control our inner and outer worlds makes humans the most superior species. But too much of a good thing backfires.
Signs You’re Overusing Your Control Muscles
- Overthinking
- Isolation
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Rigidness
- Anger
- Jealousy
- Blame
- Playing the victim
- Self-judgement and criticism
- Loss of present awareness
- Inability to focus
- All or nothing/black and white cognition
- Procrastinating
- Inaction
- Manipulation
- Self-persona fatigue
- Negativity
- Lack of simplicity
- Loss of the very things we seek by attempting to control our surroundings — friends, lovers, and success
To counteract the negative effects of control, we have to learn to use our release muscles.
Release Muscles
Our release muscles are the antagonist to the control muscles, just as the triceps are the antagonist to the biceps. In other words, they serve two different functions.
The triceps push objects away from the body while the biceps pull objects toward the body.
Control attempts to pull desired outcomes towards reality while release surrenders them temporarily or entirely.
As previously mentioned, control is necessary to accomplish desired outcomes. I much rather be watching tv or playing videos than writing this article. But to achieve my goal of becoming a full-time writer, I have to control my mind and body to put my butt in a chair and slam my fingertips atop my keypad.
But thinking and obsessing about becoming a money-making word-slinger every second of every day wouldn’t be beneficial to my mental and emotional health, as well as my personal and professional success.
Using my release muscles looks like letting go of my desired outcome.
“If I make money writing, cool.
If I don’t, cool.”
People mistake surrender with quitting or fear if they take their foot off the pedal from time to time, they’ll never reach their destination. But these assumptions are false.
We perform our best from an inner space of peace, contentment, joy, and love.
I used to (and still do) experience anxiety in intimate interactions and relationships.
I would control my body language and vocal tonality to appear more attractive. I would obsess and overanalyze text messages. I’d read and watch videos in my spare time to appear perfect and keep the relationship conflict-free.
But all my attempts left me alone because they would break up with me, or I’d break up with them because the stress and anxiety were too much to bear.
Once I released my need for female approval and acceptance, I felt more confident, free, and genuine.
I began to receive attraction with less effort, and relationships would develop simply.
How To Train Your Release Muscles
There are many ways to improve your release muscles.
Meditation, yoga, and other breathing modalities are popular. But I’m going to share what works for me for integrity’s sake and many years of trial and error.
I’ve tried meditation and yoga. And yes, they work, temporarily. But people often use these practices as a means to an end or contextually, as a way to control their thoughts and emotions to achieve a desired state or outcome, which is what we’re trying to avoid.
All you need to strengthen your release muscles is awareness, your breath, and a soothing inner dialogue.
Become aware of your emotions and where you feel them in your body.
Use your breath and comforting words to relax your body and mind.
Another tactic I like to use is “word or phrase alignment”.
Particular words and phrases elicit thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
What comes to mind, and how do you feel when you read words such as hate, shame, guilt, take, greed, manipulation?
Now, how about love, peace, contentment, relax, give, share, purpose, gratitude, grace?
Repeat words or phrases to help align your thoughts, feelings, and actions to beneficial states of being.
Again, friendly reminder, control muscles aren’t “bad.” We simply use them during the moments they aren’t required: while we work, watch tv, eat, wash the dishes, play video games, hang out with loved ones, try to sleep, etc.
Signs Your Release Muscles Are Getting Stronger
- “It is what it is”
- “Everything’s going to be OK”
- Less body tension
- Intuitive reasoning
- Simplicity
- Quicker decision making
- More peace, contentment, and joy
- Less stress and anxiety
- Less reactiveness to events, situations, and circumstances
- Efficient use of time
- Increased awareness of surroundings
- Collective unity (oneness) with people and objects
Pumping Iron Like The Terminator
Strengthening your release muscles won’t be easy. Our minds and bodies are addicted to control like a drug. But as with any habit (healthy or unhealthy), it takes time and energy to build or kick it to the curb.
Why go through the hassle?
Life is short. And most of our time is swallowed by people and desires and issues that are trivial at best.
Peace and contentment are behind the walls we build around them.
Success and improvement are always gradual. Put one foot in front of the other more days than not, and eventually, your release muscles will be the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biceps.
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