The Wicked Witch of Militant Ignorance

Chapter 6: An Army of Flying Monkeys

It was another beautiful day on the Path. The sun was shining. Birds were chirping and Neverknow was cawing impatience.

What could go wrong? (Don’t you hate when you hear that?)

We entered a forest of normal trees that seemed happy we were there, no grumpy orangey ones that reminded me of Mussolini, just normal ones that really seemed happy to see us. I pumped some bubbles in greeting. Since the Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum bubble gun blower was magic, the flow of bubbles was endless. I could share as much as I wanted.

As the day progressed, the sun began to set. It became colder, and I noticed the trees were not as friendly at this end of the forest. They weren’t vicious apple trees but they were definitely not pleased to have us around.

As we settled down for the night, we knew instinctively that the surrounding trees would turn hostile if we burned any of the dead wood lying around. I snuggled up between Andi and Judy for warmth. Harley was content to sit watch for us holding the axe for our protection.

It was creepily quiet, the kind of quiet you can feel, where the hairs on the back of your neck start to rise.

I reached for my bubble gun. I wasn’t going down without a fight… such as it was.

We heard the thundering sound of dozens of flapping wings. Then it was silent again, except for a muffled cawing in the trees. There was just enough light to make out that the trees around up were filled with monkeys flapping bat wings. One of the flying monkeys held Neverknow with a hand over his mouth. Harley swung the ax but they stayed out of reach. I held my bubble gun at the ready.

There was a quiet pause between the two groups, then something started to materialize, floating between two trees. With it came an aggressively repugnant odor. A woman’s form took shape with a face so old and wrinkly she reminded me of a nun from my grammar school who handled a yard stick like a war ax.

In her right hand was a black-bound leather book. I figured it was her book of spells and incantations like normal witches. I was right.

She took out the book and started to read,” As a witness to and defender of the Truth and the sake of family, morality, simple decency, I hear by….”

She stopped abruptly and looked in horror down the barrel of the Smith & Wesson 44 Magnum, the most powerful bubble gun blower in the world that I was training on her.

Sounding like a creepy female Terminator, she screamed, “I’ll be back.” In a poof of noxious fumes she and her flying monkeys disappeared. Neverknow flapped his wing to disperse the smell.

“What was that about?” I asked out loud.

There was a stunned silence in the group until Andi spoke up. “I have seen her flying around with her monkeys from time to time but she always left me alone.”

Harley nodded his/her agreement but Judy’s eyes teared up. “She was one of the reasons I built my brick wall,” she said through tears. “She used her flying monkeys to torment me while she screamed, ‘What kind of manly lion are you dressed like a girl! The world would be better off with you dead!’ Her three favorite flying monkeys are Shame the Mean, Guilt the Vicious and Denial the Disappointer. They would circle around me laughing, mocking and spitting. It was endless.”

Andi gave Judy a hug while she continued to cry.

“I don’t understand,” I said. “What did you do to make them angry?”

“Nnnnothing,” Judy stammered between sobs. Harley and I looked at each other with anger.

“This is just not right!” Harley declared as I nodded in agreement.

“But what can we do?” asked Andi, still comforting Judy.

Neverknow once again offered up commonsense. “It sounds like something we should go to the Lizard about.”

“Do you think he could help?” asked Judy.

Harley answered, “Well we won’t know until we try. Fortunately, the Lizard of Id is on the way of the Path of Enlightenment.”

“Don’t you mean the Wizard of OZ?” I asked.

“Who is that?” asked Andi.

“Where is OZ?” asked Harley.

“What is a wizard?” asked Judy.

I just looked at them dumb-founded. Obviously, none of them had ever watched the movie…a-duh, they don’t have movies here. We were definitely off script now.

I shrugged and said forget it. There was no point in opening that can of worms.

We all agreed that we would stop and see the Lizard of Id when we started again in the morning.

End of Chapter Five

Emma Holiday

Writers note: I was as shocked as you. I thought I was writing a LGBTQ version of the Wizard of Oz. Who knew that the Path of Gender Enlightenment took us past the Lizard of Id. Don’t blame me, the whole Path thing is new to me as well. I also have no clue where this is going…sorry. Time for chocolates and wine…or whatever.

In case you missed the first four chapters, here they are:

Additional writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.

My writing has three specific goals:

1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.

2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.

3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.

Thank you for reading my work.

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