The Weapon of Humility
There is a big difference between genuine and false humility
Humility is surely one of the most paradoxical principles of success, spirituality and leadership. It is the one that people say you have lost the moment you think you have it. I am not convinced though that this is completely true, although it may hold elements of truth.
I invite you to consider that we may have a diluted sense of what it actually means to be humble.
Yesterday, I attended a workshop with some great leaders of the company I currently spend most of my time working with. When one of the attendees was asked what some of her best qualities were, she said she did not know. The host then stated that it was a very humble response and that humility was a great quality of leadership. I was horrified by this statement. It reminded me of how diluted our understanding of this simple concept has become.
The gentleman who said this is a brilliant leader and speaker. He meant well by this statement and he only said it to highlight a positive trait and make the woman feel more comfortable. I am however mortified by the fact that this is how most people have been conditioned to view the concept of what it means to be humble.
I do not believe that this woman is not aware of her talents and gifts. She is a dynamic leader and her earnest commitment to integrity is beyond parallel. I would bet any amount of money that she knows this, for these traits require great effort and intention on her part. How could she not know this about herself?
She does know. But why did she feel uncomfortable proudly stating what she knows are her greatest strengths? She felt uncomfortable because somewhere along the line we have taken the principle of humility and turned it into a weapon that we don’t even know we are using.
A great way to look at humility is the ability to be able to accept my humanness and yours. It’s not about thinking less of ourselves but about thinking of ourselves and others in a way that provides us all the space to just be.
Humility allows you and I to make mistakes. Humility is not judgmental and does not criticize. Humility is gentle and kind. But just because humility is not boastful does not mean that it is meek. Being humble does not permit false pride but it is very humble to possess worthwhile pride.
How is thinking little of ourselves kind? When did accepting our humanness become only accepting our flaws and not our strengths? When did it become a bad thing to celebrate our gifts?
“False humility is a form of psychosis which was imprinted on most of us since birth. It is a mental illness because it locks us in a victim state of keeping our light turned down, denying who we really are and silently begging for permission to simply show up as ourselves in the world. But there is good news. This is a jail whose lock is broken. We can walk free whenever we know the truth, and by so doing we show others an example of an end to madness. An example of freedom.”
― Jacob Nordby
Humility is not only about accepting your humanness, but also about accepting your greatness. Because there is greatness in being human and there is greatness in you. You do not have to view yourself as superior to others in order to embrace your gifts and know your strengths. And most importantly, it is okay to say them out loud. It is better than okay.
Your talents and gifts are your gift to the world. You deserve to say them out loud and the rest of the world deserves that too, because if you cannot say them out loud, then you cannot fully embrace them.
An inability to embrace the best parts of what makes you, you, is a disservice to you AND to everyone else.
Let go of the idea that you have to be small to be humble. This is not true humility. It is a false sense of humility that is not humble at all.
Written by Holly Kellums
