Summary

The author recounts two separate instances in which they were unexpectedly offered oral sex by unfamiliar men during daytime hours.

Abstract

The text details the author's experiences with unsolicited sexual advances from strangers in public restrooms. The first incident occurred in a city during the late 1990s, where a man standing on the toilet in the adjacent stall offered oral sex to the author after mistaking his graffiti for a sexual solicitation. The second episode took place years later in a different town, with the offer coming from within a toilet cubicle just as the author began using a urinal. These encounters prompt the author to reflect on the desperate measures people resorted to for anonymous sexual encounters before the advent of hookup apps, questioning the success rate of such risky approaches and the potential legal consequences.

Opinions

The author perceives these encounters as surprising and memorable, despite them being unwanted.
There is a sense of disgust conveyed towards the first individual, who was described as having a dirty and unshaven appearance with missing teeth.
The author expresses curiosity about the frequency and success of such approaches, pondering the number of attempts the men had to make before succeeding.
The author seems amused by the absurdity of the situation, relating it to a humorous Monty Python sketch that satirizes similar occurrences.
The text implies a shift in societal norms and technology, with apps now providing a more efficient and less conspicuous means for seeking casual sexual encounters.
The author wonders about the desperation that would drive someone to proposition strangers without regard for their appearance or potential legal risks.

REAL-LIFE

The Two Unexpected Times I Was Offered Oral Sex by Strange Men

Both were in the daytime and completely caught me by surprise

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels. Filtered using Canva.

Sometimes, unexpected things can happen in life which take you by surprise.

It’s these kinds of surprises that stick in my mind the most. They give colour to my memories, even if they are things I wouldn’t have chosen.

Here are two times when men randomly approached me for casual sex.

The first time

Sometime in the late 1990s, I was having a day out in a city. Needing to urinate, I went to the public toilets down a side street off the main shopping area.

I was in one of the cubicles when I saw loads of funny graffiti written on the walls. So, I decided to get out a pen and add one of my jokes.

Halfway through writing the joke, I heard a hushed voice trying to get my attention from above and to my left. I looked up to see a man looking down at me. He was stood up on the toilet in the cubicle next to me.

“Wanna blowjob?” he said from his disgusting, dirty, unshaven face with missing teeth.

“What???” I replied.

He nodded towards what I was writing on the wall. I then realised he thought I was writing something sexual. Because as well as funny stuff, there was a lot of sexual stuff written on the walls too. You know the type of thing. For hard cock, call this number…

Anyway, I turned down his offer, and he disappeared.

A couple of minutes later, I left the toilets and saw him sitting on a bench in the shopping area, looking around. I wonder how much time he spent sitting there, and how many approaches he made.

The second time

Years later, I was having a day out in a different town. There is this one area where there are two sets of toilets. On one side of the road, there are posh, clean toilets that you have to pay to use. On the other side, there are not-so-nice toilets that are free.

I went to the free toilets. I walked in, stood at the urinal, and before I’d even had time to get started I heard a voice behind me: “Can I suck your cock?”

I turned around. I couldn’t see anyone. It had come from one of the cubicles behind me.

I didn’t answer him. I just silently finished what I’d gone in there to do, then left.

But how long had that guy been sitting in that cubicle? And how many times had he said that to strangers?

And he must be so desperate to suck cock, he doesn’t even care what someone looks like. For all he knew, I could have been a hunched-over 80-year-old man with a fungal infection on my balls.

How successful can this approach be?

These days, we have apps for things like this. People no longer need to hang around in public places, waiting for random strangers. But years ago, those looking for anonymous casual sex would have had no other option.

How long did that first guy need to wait on the bench before he saw someone he could follow into the toilets? And how many approaches did he need to make before he finally got some action?

How many times did the other guy have to randomly ask “Can I suck your cock?” before someone answered, “Yeah, alright.”

And what if I had been a police officer?

I’m reminded of this funny Monty Python comedy sketch: