You can always find a new girlfriend
Or a new wife, you don’t have to live in scarcity
Too many men are using dating apps.
Men feel frustrated, hopeless, worthless, and inadequate because it’s a struggle to find a woman who is the right match for them. Many of them give up after being rejected by a woman.
They make excuses for why they won’t date anymore.
Men are lying to themselves and society that they are not interested in dating
A colleague said to me:
“If my wife and I divorce, I’m getting a dog and an Xbox and I’ll live my life that way.”
He’s in his late 20s, and with the divorce rate the way it is today I hope for his sake this doesn’t happen to him. This is most people’s general attitude to most things in life anyway, so it’s no surprise.
They are reactionary.
I talk to other single men at work and they’re not happy. They’re struggling to find matches on Tinder, and they want a girlfriend, but they’re afraid to talk to women.
I see it in YouTube and Reddit comments as well. Men are giving up on living life authentically because it’s easier being alone. Yet, that’s not a way to live.
Living in fear is not how we are supposed to live our lives.
Most guys are approaching this whole situation incorrectly.
They try online dating, in which men have a clear disadvantage. For example, a woman I was dating showed me her Tinder profile. She had nearly 1200 matches, and she is average-looking.
Compare that to the 3 or 4 I had at the moment.
The frustration of online dating and not approaching women is compounded when you’re suffering from the loss of an intimate relationship.
A scarcity mindset breeds desperation and neediness.
If a man knew he could easily find a new wife or girlfriend after a breakup, it wouldn’t feel as devastating.
Yes, women are replaceable, there’s nothing she has that can’t be found in another one. The person is unique and can’t be replaced, but the general qualities are found in many women. Not just her.
When there are plenty of options we don’t fret over the loss of one or something because there is plenty to choose from.
Men give up and then complain that they are lonely; they can’t have it both ways
If being alone and single is what you genuinely want, regardless of your opinion on dating or relationships, that’s awesome. However, I imagine if most men could confidently talk to women, they would give up on this idea that they think they’re better off alone.
Who wants to live alone?
Very few people. I’m going to make a wild guess and even the people living alone have pets, hobbies, and friends to compensate for it.
If you’re not satisfied being alone, you can’t build true attraction using dating apps and phones. These are tools, and only true attraction can form in person.
Sure, you can make women laugh and such over text, but it’s artificial and forced, and messages can often be misconstrued incorrectly.
So I don’t recommend it.
Disenchanted with dating, men watch porn and jack off to it.
A man who is constantly viewing porn and masturbating to it is tricking his brain. Your brain only cares about two things: are you surviving, and are you reproducing?
All he’s doing is wasting his sexual energy instead of using it to attract women in person or to build a better life.
We might get negative responses from women because we:
- Act weird
- Try to hide our nervousness, instead of owning it
- Are not relatable
- Are seeking a number, not a connection
- Lack social awareness
I once knew a young man from work who would do that with women. He would walk up to them and ask for their Snapchat info as if that’s good enough.
No one in general just hands out their number for no reason.
Asking for a phone number is not the goal. Not the victory condition. It’s a means to an end.
People act weird and then complain about how polluted the dating scene is today. First, look inward. In my weekly newsletter, I explain how you can address limiting beliefs you may have.
Why men should at least test out cold approaching or meeting women in person
I’m not entirely convinced a long-lasting relationship can come about from a dating app.
Those of us on it are trying to “force” love. I made this mistake once and it cost me dearly.
Dating on an app is easy and convenient — and addictive. My mind thinks that the next swipe will be a match, almost like I’m at a casino. It holds out hope that the person in the picture will be my future girlfriend or wife.
However, the most exhilarating moments have been when I approached a pretty woman and started talking to her. The chances might be low the approach will lead to anything, so it’s harder to convince yourself to go for it.
It’s always seemed more “right” to me when I approach or meet someone in person. I feel more masculine. We didn’t arrive on this earth by swiping on cell phones to find the most appropriate match back in the day.
Yes, it’s scary meeting strangers, but so is being alone. The worst response I’ve got from women is “I have a boyfriend” or they just ignore me.
Men have better options in person, not on an app
Men can pick and choose the women they are attracted to in person, rather than swiping on every random woman on Tinder. Dating apps are a small sample of the available people out there.
In my experience, most of the women I encounter don’t appear to be worth my time. Their bio might show that she has too many things going on, which may be why she’s passively searching.
She may even unknowingly tell you her red flags by her bio.
You should consider if the woman in the app is someone you would approach in real life. If not, then it’s probably not worth your time.
You can feel the attraction if it’s there or not (in person). It’s much harder to bullshit your real appearance compared to a photograph. There’s a chance to talk to the person and show that you have value, and not through text.
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