Letting Go|Healing|Emotions

The Truth Behind “Letting Go”

Journey through pain, healing, and the power of emotional release

Let it go

“Breathe in, and as you hold your breath at the top, slowly release all that tension in the body out on the exhale,” said my healer. I sarcastically think to myself, ‘This isn’t working.’

I remember too well trying so hard to find the elusive “magic solution” to “letting go.” Oh my god, did I sample everything out there in a bid to find some mental relief.

My well-meaning friends would say, “Well, you just have to let it go.”- I have a good answer to that, but I’d better not write it.

Oh, they make it sound so easy, don’t they? Why hadn’t I thought of that one? All those decades of built-up pain, self-harm, anxiety, grief, and trauma can just disappear because I woke up today and said, “let it go.”

Only letting go is not that simple, or we all would, right?

Anger

Primarily, I had to walk through the purifying fires of anger and make it out to the other side; this was only in the hope the fire didn’t consume me first. That said, there must have had a level of faith because I was on my knees pleading and crying to God, “Please help me”

When a psychic told me to visualize the people who had hurt me wrapped up in a golden light, the thought was impossible and so far removed from the anger that consumed my mind. My thoughts and nightmares were much darker as my mind conjured images of getting some sweet justice.

Finally, waking up to the realization of the dysfunctional family abuse system in which I was raised, brought on an anger so intense it almost burned me to the ground. Today, I realise the ground is a good place to rise up from the ashes of despair.

Divine guidance

I am writing this article to provide a little insight into how I did discover the solution to the all-elusive “Letting go”

I searched everywhere in the external world for the fix, from tarot cards, reiki healing, and crystal healing to acupuncture, mediums, getting a black belt in kickboxing, becoming a medium, and swimming endless lengths at the swimming pool while crying into my goggles. I learned the fix doesn’t exist out there.

During the lockdown period of 2020 onwards (which just so happened to be yet another night of the soul) I used the time to start daydreaming and visualizing how I imagined a great life could look, and I began taking steps to dissolve my old life completely.

In the year 2021, I turned fifty. Call it a midlife crisis, menopause, or divine guidance. We sold up everything, leaving the town we’d resided in as a family for seventeen years. It would mean leaving my friends, business, and our son and daughter for some time.

Divine callings are not something we can ignore; our intuition can feel so strong that we have to follow the light within, even if unsure of where it is leading us.

To some the decision seemed irrational, others pleaded with me to stay, albeit admired my courage. We are taught to be prudent in our ways in the world, yet divine prudence is something we all possess and must act upon.

Despite the unsettling emotions and sadness of leaving behind the old life, we continued on the path, moving some distance up to the Scottish Highlands. We rented a cold, small stone cottage, nestled amongst beautiful trees with fields filled with curious cows. All while our new home was waiting to be built (another story).

When we arrived, the harsh winter was just around the corner. I had no job, no friends, and desperately missed my two grown-up children, to make matters worse, mice found their way into the cottage through the back of a kitchen cupboard.

They are sweet little things, but I don’t do their tails. One night, the traps went off three times within half an hour. I hated being the mouse executioner and justified it to myself that I was providing the owls and hawks with a take-out meal and saving them from being brutally torn apart.

I missed things like taking a hot bath, carpet, proper heating, and the warm comforts of our old home. In the December, a huge storm took out power lines for four days. Snow fell next, stuck for weeks with no four-wheel drive to get out. What had I done?

For the initial stage, I fought with the nagging inner voice telling me I’d made a huge mistake. Within, I knew to keep walking forward, and eventually, everything would make sense. The urge to go back to my old life was immense, but experience had taught me to never go back in life.

Looking back, the experience taught me to be more resilient, to exercise patience, and not delay happiness on an outcome. Thanks universe, you always deliver.

Summer came around, and I saw how beautiful the area was when it came into full bloom. Where we live, we have no light pollution, so the night sky is magical. If we are lucky, sometimes we can see the Aurora Borealis and recently, mother pearl clouds.

How I let go

During my period in the wilderness, I began to come to some profound realizations about “Letting go”

Crikey, God had taken a long time answering my prayer, at least a decade.

One afternoon, in deep meditation, it suddenly occurred to me that to release pain within, we must turn to face it head-on and allow ourselves the necessary time and space to look at it.

Were you falsely taught crying is weak, something to hide and to apologize for? Crying is a beautiful part of being human, necessary to stir emotions, to move them, and allow the hot salty tears to flow out of us. Have you noticed how exhausted yet relieved you feel after a huge cry and release of emotion?

“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” Steve Maraboli

Were you taught to forget about things that hurt you? We bury our pain and sadness, then attempt to shovel positivity over the top. Eventually, that festering rot within manifests as something else in our body, and we have to deal with it.

Allowing myself to hold this space of looking at emotional pain has moved the emotion that needs to stir within to release up and out. The more we allow ourselves to look at our past hurt and hold space for it, the easier it gets.

This technique has been so profoundly healing that it has given me the gift of forgiveness and peacefully letting go with love in my heart.

Letting go is for when we are ready, but truthfully, we never fully let go. Our past formed us into who we are today, and without those intricate threads weaving their detailed tapestry, we wouldn’t be the divine woven pattern we’ve become and continue to be.

Thank you Liberty Forrest, Author for the writing prompt. It is my hope that my writing helps to heal and uplift.

Enjoy these brilliant writers below.

Snuggle up for a cuddle with Rick Allen

Sara Fellers Nature holds the keys to anxiety

At 👉Smiley Blue, our content expands from conscious mentoring to in-depth discussions on how your mind and body can be powerful assets to you and your business.

Follow Smiley Blue on 👉Instagram

Follow Smiley Blue on 👉Facebook