The Truth About Living Authentically People Rarely Talk About
5 most ignored truths
Allow me to ask you this, do you know your true self enough to live an authentic life?
An authentic life as unique to you as your fingerprint?
This is where I found myself after learning a hard lesson about placing people on a pedestal.
Most people claim they’re living an authentic life, but few stay 60% true to their authenticity.
Why?
1. They think they know their true selves but don’t.
2. They abort mission once they discover the true meaning of living an authentic life.
Sticking to authentic living can be tough.
Unfortunately, people rarely talk about these truths.
Understanding them will help you be better prepared to navigate the landscape of authenticity with zero surprises(or just a tiny few):
1. Grieving
To find yourself, you MUST lose yourself.
My identity was made up of other people’s thoughts, opinions and beliefs.
Journaling and therapy helped me process the fact that I had to let go of that identity.
If I was going to commit 100% to authentic living, I had to make room for a new identity that’s aligned with my true self,
I grieved the loss like a mother grieves the death of a child.
Have you ever had to let go of something special and feared what would come next?
That’s how it felt.
Confusion.
I was losing a big piece of me.
I didn’t want to let go and step into an unknown version of me I’d had no time whatsoever to figure out.
I didn’t know what lay ahead, my ego was fighting for survival and my emotions didnt want to adopt; it was messy.
Understand you’ll let go of identities and form new ones.
A constant death and re-birth, like the magical phoenix.
It’s the part of authentic living you’ll have to contend with as you’ll always be shed an identity to gain a better one.
Think, what is it that needs grieving in your life for a more authentic life?
2. Messiness of self-discovery
Discovery leads to knowing and knowing leads to more discovery.
Self-discovery is KING in the world of authentic living.
If you are serious about getting to know yourself, prioritize self-discovery.
The downside of it is that it’s a messy affair — no roadsigns, no GPS, no hand-holding.
You’ll question why you don’t enjoy what you did before and you’ll wonder what to enjoy now because you’ve shed your past identities.
What you related to before won't anymore.
You’ll question whether anything you enjoyed was because you were conforming to societal expectations.
You’ll find yourself experimenting, A LOT.
Which may cost A LOT.
For example, in pursuing self-discovery, I bought a guitar and paid for classes… I abandoned them.
I forced myself to attend events I didnt want to just to get out of my comfort zone.
I invested in courses and hobbies to persuade the self (deep within) to come out of the prison I’d forced it into.
You can imagine the trust issues.
Through that, I discovered my likes, dislikes, loves, passions and interests which aligned with my true self.
Tell me about your self-discovery journey in the comments!
What did you do or discover that surprised you? (looking forward to reading them)
3. Truths you’ll dislike
Choosing to live an authentic life forced me to face my weaknesses and imperfections.
You won’t like it.
I didn’t and still have trouble with it.
No one wants to perceive themselves as less perfect.
We all want to protect our self -esteem and acknowledging imperfection is a threat to our self-worth.
That means we’ve based our worth on the wrong things.
Rather than work hard to rid yourself of imperfections and weaknesses, in authentic living, you’ll work hard to accept truths you don’t like.
You’ll focus on liberating yourself from the pressures of pretending to be someone you’re not.
Besides is there any known living human who is the paragon of perfection?
I doubt there exists one.
4. Distancing equals authentic self-preservation
I’ve found myself burning stuff I wished to emotionally distance myself from.
You have to? Right?
As humans, we tend to want to sever ties with that we loathe.
But what if the things you should distance yourself from are those you can’t because they’re near and to your heart?
What if it’s your friend, family or lover? It becomes harder to distance yourself.
Living an authentic life means severing ties with or distancing yourself from those who may cause inauthentic living.
It encourages independent thinking and authentic choices based on your values and beliefs without external influence.
5. Defining your lodestar
Your lodestar = core personal values and principles.
Less than 1% dare update their values.
They fail to recognize that, with each passing day, they become a newer and more evolved version of themselves.
I was guilty of that.
I feared judgement and rejection, that I’d go back to being a loner(a situation I was avoiding at all costs), even though our vibes and interests were a zero match.
It’s the challenge of sticking to your values in a conformist world.
Many don’t know their core personal values, few bother defining them, majority follow the trend.
There are no right or wrong values, neither can you borrow your friend’s.
You have to decide for yourself what values appeal to you and what you’re willing to uphold even if push comes to shove.
But since you’ve been taught to look outside yourself for guidance, you don’t trust yourself to get it right.
For this reason, value-defining becomes a stressful, unpleasant activity that you’ll want to avoid at all costs.
Key Takeaway
Authentic living is not the absence of pain, but the courage to face it and the resilience to grow through it.
It’s the wisdom to transform it into fuel that propels you towards a truer, more genuine existence.
You’ll have to:
1. Grieve
2. Accept the messiness of self-discovery
3. Face inner truths you’d rather not
4. Distance yourself for self-preservation
5. Define your lodestar
I hope this will inspire you to take concrete steps toward it, cause you hold the pen to your authentic narrative.
Enjoyed reading this? Join me every Sunday for practical insights to help you confidently be yourself, without being bothered by what others think.