Drop These 10 Habits To Be Unbelievably Authentic

Lessons inspired by a former friend and role model.

“Hey, don’t copy how I talk and sound; it’s awkward. Please, respect my boundaries!”

Even though these words were spoken a while back, they linger in my thoughts now and then.

They came from someone I admired and considered a role model.

This person inspired me so much that I gave them the nickname “Paragon Muse.”

I looked up to Paragon Muse because:

• They were in the place I wished to reach.
• They lived by the same values and principles I believe in.
• They had the success I’d been dreaming about for a long time.

I was shadowing Paragon Muse hoping to speed up my own growth and reach success.

Since they’d attained the results I wanted, I figured reading the books they read and doing the same things they did things would get me the same results.

But it didn’t go as planned.

They mistook my actions for jealousy and ulterior motives.

Paragon Muse thought I wanted to be them — as if I was trying to replicate their identity, forsaking my own.

Because of this, misunderstandings popped up.

I ended up losing a friend, a mentor and someone I looked up to.

My mistake and lesson; I had placed them on too high a pedestal.

In a world that treasures authenticity, looking up to people we admire too much can lead to habits that hinder staying true to who we are.

When you idolise someone, it’s easy to start acting in a way you think they’ll like Instead of living by your own values and doing what feels right for you.

This experience got me thinking,

“What other habits do we have that when dropped, can lead to living an unbelievably authentic life?”

1. Fear of saying NO

Fear saying NO will offend others?

Truth is, what you really fear is being judged as selfish.

You also fear disagreements, they make you uncomfortable.

But you’d rather say NO, honour your needs and stay true to who you really are.

Because pretending to be someone else to avoid judgement and ruffling feathers will lead to:

• build-up of resentment
• leads to unprocessed emotions
• suppresses needs, bringing about self-neglect and low self-esteem.

You’ll end up worse for it.

And the moment you explode, you’ll become the ‘bad’ one, the ‘aggressive one’, the ‘what’s your problem’

Remember, no is a complete sentence that doesn’t need to be followed by a justification.

2. Unconscious comparison

I was talking to an old acquaintance the other day and she said,

“I have a weakness of comparing myself to other people.

So considering my age mates are ahead in their careers, makes me nervous about starting from scratch.”

Reducing the habit of comparing ourselves to others means:

• We won’t make inauthentic choices because we’re afraid of what people might say.
• We’ll be open to seeing new starts as an opportunity for self-discovery that helps us re-align with our authenticity.
• We’ll decide things based on what makes us unique, not just because everyone else is doing them.

Remember, every flower is unique and blooms at its own pace. That doesn’t take away from its beauty and brilliance.

3. Superficial knowledge

Does the content you consume reflect your authenticity?

Or are consuming with genuine interest or are you consuming to fake competence and appear well-read?

I call this superficial knowledge gathering.

When your knowledge is superficial, you live in fear of being exposed.

This makes you feel fake, like an imposter, hindering authentic self-expression.

You end up pretending to know more than you do, creating a facade of competence that isn’t in line with your true authentic capabilities.

It’s no wonder you’re :

• Conversations are shallow, lack depth and leave you unfulfilled.
• Faking confidence when expressing your opinions and thoughts; that don't align with your true self.
• Under undue pressure. You believe others expect a certain level of knowledge and expertise from you.

4. Perfectionist tendencies

The original meaning of the word perfect is to complete or fulfil an activity; to do something thoroughly.

Its etymology is from the Latin word perfectus; PER means to complete, fulfil or thoroughly; and FERCTUS means to do something.

But the meaning changed over time and its usage extended to describing people and judging their worth.

Perfect means impeccable, flawless and without fault

However, what makes a person authentic is their unique set of strengths, weaknesses and imperfections.

Perfectionist reject their imperfections and weakness, but it’s an illusion.

Ignoring your weaknesses and chasing perfection is like wearing a fake smile every day.

Perfection? It’s boring.

When you’re busy trying to be flawless, deep down you’re

• Saying no to the real you
• You’re scared others won’t accept the imperfect parts
• You’re rejecting self-rejecting first

Embrace those flaws. They’re part of what makes you YOU.

5. A lack of personal values

Do you have authentic personal values and principles that you stand by?

Finding out what values matter to you and alignment with your authentic self should be at the top of your life priorities.

Personal values serve as the anchor to your true self.

Without them, anything goes.

For those with defined personal values, do you often stick by them?

Or do you pay them no mind?

Personal values:

• Are the building blocks to high self-worth.
• Will eliminate 99% of the above habits.
• Help you remain true to yourself and live a more fulfilling life.

When you lack these values, you end up adopting everyone else’s way of living, never truly living a genuine life.

In a society that pushes conformity, authentic living isn’t a walk in the park.

It’s a demanding feat that calls for the brave.

Ready for a challenge?

Use the above as a checklist to catch those unconscious slips and guide yourself back to authentic living whenever needed.

Enjoyed reading this? Join me every Sunday for practical insights to help you confidently be yourself, without being bothered by what others think.