The Top 3 Regrets of an Obese Woman Faced With A Foot Amputation

On success, mental health, the psychology of weight loss, and fake wokeness

All it takes is a tissue and a pat on the back to befriend a crying stranger.

That’s precisely how I met Nitu (name changed), a 45-year-old obese woman bawling her eyes out in the hospital room next to my uncle’s.

I asked her, “What’s the matter?” as she silently wept, staring at her left foot in longing and regret. Her beige shirt camouflaged her in the background, but her remarkable sadness flowed freely from her eyes.

“Are you okay, do you need something?” I asked again, only to be met by silence. So, I just sat with her while awkwardly patting her back, hoping to calm her down, ten minutes later, she told me the biggest tragedy of her life.

While she was alone waiting for her family, the doctors had just given her the horrible news that they’ll need to amputate a foot to save her life.

It was heart-wrenching to watch her weep alone, so I offered to stay with her till her family arrived.

And that’s how I learned 3 powerful lessons from a life that took a wrong turn.

1. Success Doesn’t Guarantee Better Mental Health

She is filthy rich, her husband is a real-estate contractor, and her father is a decorated surgeon who sits on the board of Delhi’s biggest hospital

She herself runs an interior decoration company that only those who can afford chic furniture and exotic imported pieces would enter.

She was killing it in business, but her family life was deep in troubled water. Conflict and chaos reigned at her house daily. A drunk husband, a rebellious son, and an autistic daughter were her biggest worries. She was anxious for them at all times.

Her priorities were always to improve their life and never her own. She tried her best, but she failed as her husband left, her son got arrested for assaulting his own father, and her daughter is now battling depression.

Losing herself in this mayhem, her mental health fell apart. She ate her emotions as junk food always made her feel better — and gained 30 kilos in 7 months.

She was obese, to begin with, but now it got worse. She had diabetes for 11 years, and now the doctors were warning her that they’ll have to cut off her right foot.

Her poor mental health wrecked her physical health. She became a glutton for punishment and ate her emotions which destroyed her body.

She blames herself for not taking care of her mental health. If only she had made an effort to improve her mental health, she would be in much better shape.

She wished she had taken a few minutes out of her busy schedule to nourish her mental health every day.

Here’s What You Can Do:

• Do your best to protect your family, but accept that you can’t change their actions. You live with imperfect and emotional people who lose their temper and say sh*tty things they don’t really mean.
• Visit a therapist if your family’s chaos is affecting your mental health. Don’t postpone it any longer. Yes, it is expensive, but it’s worth every penny as it will make you stronger.
• Build mental reserves with mindful habits like daily walks, journaling, and meditation. Small habits go a long way, as they can become a part of your safe space.
• Distance your relatives if nothing else works. You can’t abandon your family, but you can cut ties with toxic relatives whose aim in life is to drag you down.

2. Weight Loss Is a Psychological Battle

She was obese before her mental health went to the gutter. She tried to lose weight through diets that backfired and workouts that wrecked her joints.

She had all the facilities at her fingertip, a nutritionist, dietician, and a state of art gym two floors beneath her house with a lifetime membership.

Yet she never actually used them efficiently. She started a diet to fit in with her friends, and she bought athleisure wear to click gym selfies.

She blames her laziness for always giving up on a diet or workout. Her lack of self-discipline killed her chances of ever losing weight. She regrets not going on a daily walk and following a healthier diet.

Her laziness was at the crux of her horrendous physical health. If only she had broken this psychological block, things would be different.

She had tried every scammy diet pill, detox tea, and ayurvedic cure for weight loss, but she never completed a single diet or workout plan.

She succumbed to her craving every time. She had a false utopian belief that she could lose weight effortlessly — without even putting in effort.

Here’s What You Can Do:

• Crush laziness with momentum. Exercise daily, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. A small action performed over time is the secret to an unbreakable habit.
• It takes tremendous willpower to maintain a diet or workout, but the biggest challenge is starting one. So, take the leap today and make it happen — day one or one day.
• The easiest thing you can do to stay fit on any day is to walk more. Walk at least 6000 steps daily even on rest days, to boost your movement.
• A simple addition of fruits and vegetables to your diet can make all the difference. It will improve your gut health and aid digestion too. You can improve your diet instantly with this fix.

3. Fake Wokeness Can Wreck Your Life

And then came delusion. She started believing that she was healthy courtesy of the body-positive movement.

She counted household tasks and bare minimum movement as workouts. She thought she was active; hence she was healthy.

She made her weight a part of her personality. It held her back from even trying to shed it. Her biggest regret was letting delusion take over her life. She believed she was healthy when she was morbidly obese.

She did everything to support the body positivity movement on Instagram. She believes that this moment planted the seed of delusion in her head.

If only she had looked in the mirror more clearly, she would have known that this fake bubbly persona would be the death of her. She wishes she had used her working-out gear for more than just posing for Instagram selfies.

She is now on the verge of losing a foot because she fell into a vicious cycle of delusion and fake self-esteem.

Here’s What You Can Do:

• Nourish your self-esteem with actions, not quotes. Do one small thing daily that helps you move towards your goal, like a daily walk or a 5-minute guided meditation session.
• Reduce your social media usage by stopping doom scrolling. Control the media you consume before it controls you.
• Follow the science to protect yourself from harmful trends. If she had listened to her doctor earlier, she wouldn’t be in this position.
• Learn to protect your mental health from these vicious time-consuming apps. Set social media limits on your phone for better content consumption.

Closing Thoughts

It was heartbreaking to witness her grieving for her foot. I wish I could have done more than listen to her regrets.

This chance encounter taught me that we can never take our health lightly because you never know what will happen tomorrow.

• Beat the resistance and do what you said you’ll do. Take action no matter how small.
• Protect your mental health from friends and family, as often, they are our biggest source of stress. Build your mental reserves with meditation, journaling, walks, and introspection.
• Improve your diet with the simple addition of fruits and vegetables. And minimize ultra-processed foods for better health.

So, start today. Take small steps to build a routine that you can follow easily.

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