HUMOR
The Top Ten Reasons Why You Just Clicked On This Headline
An Irresistible Listicle
You are powerless over your clickbait addiction.
You live for listicles.
You have no attention span and love bright shiny objects.
You would sell your grandma in order to read a listicle about why you’d sell your grandma in order to read a listicle.
You tried reading Middlemarch but there were just too damn many words.
Nobody loves you, everybody hates you, but since this is the 21st century instead of going into the garden to eat worms, you’ve gone online to read listicles.
This is Medium. Medium is teaming with listicles, clickbait and malarkey. If you didn’t love listicles, clickbait and malarkey, you wouldn’t be here. You’d be reading The Economist.
You’ve got a big looming super-important work deadline you absolutely have to meet — so you’re here reading listicles instead of getting to work.
The world is too big and crazy and makes absolutely no sense but a good listicle gives you the illusion that things are under control.
The algorithm made you do it.
Note to Readers: If you clicked on the headline for a reason I didn’t cover, please post it as a response to this piece. Smartass comments, snark and sarcasm are — of course — always welcome.
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