The Struggle Is Real: Here’s How to Keep Your Dreams Alive

What to do when swords rain down from the sky and life comes at you in the realest of ways

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.”— Mike Tyson

I had a plan once. It was sometime in March 2017.

I was living in Hoboken at the time, commuting across the river to my agency job in NYC. My girlfriend, Melissa (who I met at work), had relocated to a satellite office in Denver just a few months prior. Our plan was to do the long-distance thing and then move in together halfway across the country.

At the time, The Ascent was just a side project of mine I managed to find time for in the evenings. I didn’t quite have a plan for it yet but it was starting to gain traction, which excited me.

Anyway, I knew I wanted to move so went ahead and scheduled time with our CEO to discuss my options. You know him as Garyvee. I’d been a huge advocate of his over the years and figured if there was any way I could “have my cake and eat it too,” he was the guy with whom I should speak.

During our chat, I told him I was following my heart to Denver and asked if it would be possible to stay with the company. He was honest, telling me they weren’t looking to expand any efforts out there and weren’t even sure how long the current office would be open in that part of the country.

I respected his decision and told him I understood it was just business. Then, I proceeded to thank him… for everything.

We both knew I was in love and no matter what the decision was, I was going to Denver either way.

He wished me luck, shook my hand, and told me the door was always open. Then, we gave each other a big hug and I went on my way.

A day or two later, I issued my two weeks’ notice, packed up all my things, and flew to Denver after working my last day (I actually took a cab right to the airport after work and went skydiving the next morning).

Our plan quickly shifted to: let’s just live on Melissa’s income for the time being while I embark on a new path — an entrepreneurial journey.

Just two weeks after I got there, however, Melissa was laid off and our plan needed to change.

Business is business, but it hurts still too.

It was unfortunate timing for sure. The company underwent a round of layoffs that impacted many. Just an unfortunate business decision, really.

We didn’t take it personally but it did still hurt our plan. And what transpired next was, for both of us, a lesson in humility.

We both decided to try our hands at entrepreneurship. The Ascent was still growing steadily so… why not try and build something on top of that?! Surely, we could help at least some of the people who visited our page.

The next thing I knew, we had a landing page setup offering personal brand consulting. Before long, we had a handful of clients and very little idea what we were doing. We started to resent the work almost immediately.

So, we shifted gears. I started taking on a bunch of Upwork projects, Melissa got a part-time role at Michaels craft store loading and unloading trucks (which was equal parts funny and sad, given her petite 100-pound frame), and we became professional dog-sitters via Rover on the side.

It was a humbling experience, those days. At one point, we looked at each other and said:

“You know, we’re actually quite lucky compared to others. This might be the poorest we’ll ever let ourselves be. If this is our rock bottom, no place to go but up.”

Rock bottom looks different for everybody.

Over the next two years, things did start to look up. Melissa landed a full-time marketing role at a startup downtown and I started contracting for bigger clients. At one point, we even had two jobs apiece.

When burnout started to creep up, we dialed back our efforts. She left the “extra” job to focus more on her 9 to 5 and I left a contract I was starting to be unhappy in as well, but we stayed focused on what remained.

Eventually, I took on a role at a leading CBD company in Boulder, where I began commuting a couple of days a week. In the evenings, however, I continued managing The Ascent. At this point, Medium’s team had reached out to discuss a potential partnership opportunity.

The plan was back in full effect. Let’s work hard and bank some money so I can eventually work for myself and concentrate on writing!

Then, something impossibly hard to come to grips with happened: my mom got really sick, spent three long months in the hospital, and passed away.

It deeply saddens me to say that those three months were some of the hardest, most painful days of her life. Even two years later, I can’t really bring myself to talk about them in any sort of real detail — just a little too traumatic for me. Every once in a while, something triggers a memory and I’m suddenly transported right back into that room. It’s heartbreaking.

Life has a way of moving on.

When we returned to Denver, however difficult, we jumped back into our life. About a month later (July 2019), Medium reached back out with a formal partnership agreement. Suddenly, a blog I’d been managing pro bono for over three years started generating a few thousand bucks a month on the side!

With financials and career aspirations finally starting to go our way, we decided to make another big change: leaving Denver for LA.

I told the CBD company I was going full-on remote and Melissa was experiencing a bit of luck in that area as well. Why not?! We’re enjoying Denver but it’s way different from New York. Nothing’s really tying us down here so let’s try our hands at the west coast with LA!

By November 2019, we had officially become California residents.

My plan was to continue earning, continue growing The Ascent, and keep working my way up to being a full-time writer.

Then, another incredibly unforeseen thing happened: a virus started sweeping the world and escalated into a full-blown pandemic.

Soon after, a contract-to-hire position Melissa had taken turned into a contract-to-stay-contract role, indefinitely. My CBD company position, however, stood firm (luckily), and The Ascent was still growing.

Miraculously, 2020 was actually the best year of my professional life. I was ecstatic. Lucky. Effort was paying off and dreams were starting to be realized.

History has a way of repeating.

I felt so strongly about what I was doing, in fact, that come February 2021, I left my CBD contract position behind (after nearly two years, it was time) to finally pursue my writing career, full-time.

The goal was to keep The Ascent going as my primary source of income, reinvesting profits back into the community, and take a full shot at being a prolific writer on the very platform I’ve called home for five years (mostly editorially).

That was my plan, anyway, until I caught up with my partnership contact late last week. She informed me that the company would not be renewing its contract with us after May. With the recent news involving Medium’s editorial team, I understood it as just another business decision — very poor timing again, unfortunately.

Suddenly, without much warning, what I’d poured years into building up as a valuable income source went back to generating zero overnight.

They say there’s no such thing as an overnight success but let me tell you one thing: failure sure as hell can work that way.

Call it what you want — bad luck, life happening, or just a series of unfortunate events. Either way, this is my new reality.

It feels a lot like The Adjustment Bureau where I’m not-so-subtly being nudged back onto the one true path. But like Matt Damon’s character in that movie, I’m not planning on giving up that easily.

The struggle is part of the journey.

I inherited a lot of things from my mother. She wasn’t the most patient of individuals, but luckily, my dad over-indexed in that characteristic pretty heavily. One thing I did get from her, though, was her stubbornness — her tenacity. Simply put, us Campbells don’t know when to quit.

Here’s the new plan I’m working with right now:

1. Understand fear is a double-edged sword.

My initial reaction to the news last week has been fear. We’re getting married later this year(!), carry a goal of one day buying a house, and I’m a little more behind on the last year’s tax payments than I’d really like to be.

The thing is, I can either let fear cripple me or use it as motivation.

Risktaking right now will come at an even higher cost, so I’m grounding myself for the time being; reassessing all finances and slashing any frivolous expense (kind of like the companies above were doing).

I’m also parting ways with any frivolous time I’ve been spending: reading, streaming movies, and the like. Until I get a firm grip on a new source of income I need to make each second count these next few weeks.

2. Know there’s nothing wrong with practicality.

Yes, I still want to make it as a writer, and yes, I do still see tons of value in building The Ascent community. Security just comes first is all and I can’t do either dream justice without first being able to sleep.

When in doubt, inch back towards practicality. Even though I’ve “made the leap” a number of times already, nobody will ever fault me for taking half a step back. Whether that means securing a new part-time contract client or diving back into the corporate world full-time, I have options I can consider thanks to a healthy resumé.

My first stop so far has been LinkedIn. Time to update my page.

3. Double down on what you believe in.

It would be easy for me to say, “Welp, that’s it! It’s officially no longer worth my time. Time to close up shop at The Ascent.” But the truth is, I believed in it from the get-go and that hasn’t changed.

So, what I’m going to do is simple: revert back to being hungry. Clearly, I’ve been eating too well. I’m going to take all of the above emotions, experiences, and learnings and channel them into effort. That feels productive to me.

I’d like to think I’m a whole lot smarter nowadays and can create new income streams relatively quickly. I’m giving myself the next few weeks to see what I can come up with, but if I end up venturing elsewhere, I’ll always find a way back to this eventually (it’s my dream).

4. Pour your heart out on the page.

Until someone yells “Finish Him” Mortal Kombat style, I don’t plan on quitting. I may be 35 years old, but I also still have my entire life in front of me.

Perspective matters. It would be really easy to just sit around my apartment wallowing in self-pity. But I’m a creator, and the urge I feel is more around what can I create with this? How can I help people with my story?

Life will throw things at you from time to time. Often, even. Daggers and katana blades will rain down from the sky. Your response is the only thing that matters in the grand scheme.

I’ll leave you with an excerpt from a story my mom wrote back in December 2018. Like me, I think she understood the power in documenting her hardships along the way, so one day, her story could help you and me:

“I wanted to write this not because I want sympathy but because I wanted everyone to know that I’m not giving up. I draw strength and hope from above and from those around me.

There have been 13 deaths on my street since I moved here, 4 neighbors have lost their children, so I will not complain. I hope I will never experience that kind of pain. I think about them all the time and want them to know that they encourage me to get up every day and keep moving.

As the saying goes, He only gives you as much as you can handle or He shows you how to handle what you’ve been given! Well, He must think that I’m one strong person because whatever has come my way, I’ve handled.”

I’ll continue to handle all that life sends my way. It’s the only plan I’ve got, really. And I got it from the amazing woman who raised me. ❤