The Simple Therapeutic Impact of Empathy on Our Lives

And It’s Free For All

Once again reflecting on the variety of my 50 posts to date which give an insight to the person I am, i.e., someone who can drown in Weltschmerz, fill to the brim with pity and sadness for other people’s trauma, and feel anger at injustice.

All of which I work into a frenzy of writing, to finally emerge from the abyss — I like the drama — and settle back into my balanced happy old self. This is reflected in my writings on the more humorous, kinder side of life. What a mix, indeed, of different feelings and emotions. Can you relate to this?

Yes, life can be miserable, burdensome, and full of personal ups and downs, in fact, a continuous struggle to survive. It seems as if so many others have it so much easier. Why? This is particularly unfair considering we’re not any more stupid than they are— how’s that for a fine slab of self-pity to which, naturally, everyone has a right.

At times I feel I must be the most emodiverse being on the planet; a personality trait I have read which fosters — if the positive emotions predominate — your health and creativity. Now, that is certainly good news, if true.

But am I really the most emotionally diverse person struggling to contain my mixed bag of feelings, ever? No, of course I’m not, there are so many of you out there, like me, ignited with feelings, and despite the downs always ready for a laugh, ready for a smile, and ready to connect and to empathize.

Empathy: Simply put, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

I am not going to delve into and describe empathy, nor will I look at the positive and negative aspects of it. There are plenty of Medium posts and more, covering the various features of empathy, some of which you can find at the end of my post.

For me, empathy is the initial step within a whole cycle of human interaction and impact which includes the next step, compassion, and is finalized with an act of kindness.

I see and feel how You feel.

I feel sorry for how You feel.

I offer to relieve how You feel.

Following are some personal examples of:

How the smallest of things can impact our well-being and leave us with a feeling of warmth and belonging.

A few days ago, I walked past a woman a little older than myself — therefore not to be described as elderly — and noted she was dragging a fully packed trolly bag with one hand and carrying a plastic bag filled to bursting point, with the other. Both obviously very heavy, I couldn’t help but walk back and comment on her heavy load. And before I could offer my help, she cut me short and said with a smile,

“Indeed, you’re right but at least I don’t have far more to go. So, I should manage ok. Now that was very kind of you, thank you, dear”.

Obviously appreciating my thoughtful gesture, she went off happier and maybe lighter on the last leg of her burdensome journey. It was as simple as that.

An act of kindness in itself does not need to be accepted to have an impact, it’s sometimes enough to just offer and let the other know you care.

Continuing on this vein of thought, I remember once standing in a railway station in England and looking up at the endless number of steps I’d have to take to get to the exit hallway. I then looked down at my very large and heavy case and sighed. Just about to lift it and set off on my laborious journey, I heard a voice offering to carry my case for me.

“That’s very kind of you,”

I replied to a very posh looking English gentleman. Admittedly, I was surprised his chivalrous attention was awarded me, a middle-aged heavy over-baggaged, foreign-looking woman. Anyway, off he sprinted with my case and me lugging and panting behind him hoping that he wasn’t, once at the top, going to run off with my belongings.

Now, why on earth are we often suspicious of unexpected acts of kindness?

Anyway, he didn’t, and gentlemanly waited till I arrived. And then, hardly acknowledging my thanks… back down the fleet of stairs he went. I was completely taken aback realizing he’d actually gone out of his way to help me by making the extra journey up those hundreds of steps, and then down again.

I was really touched and shall never forget his empathy, compassion and kindness.

To finish off, let me tell you about another type of empathetical encounter I experienced on the bus — my favorite source of many a story.

I was sitting in the bus on the seat normally reserved for the elderly — no, I’m not there yet — and disabled, holding on to my case in front of me. I’d sat there because of the extra space available to keep my case out of harm’s way.

And so there I was hoping no entitled person would get on the bus. Wishful thinking, indeed. On walked an elderly man armed with his walking stick. I jumped up offering him his rightful seat which he accepted, but only on the condition I’d remain sitting and we’d share the seat because as he said, looking me intently in the eyes

“You know, there’s plenty of room in this world for all of us.”

I understood exactly what this kind old Irish man was implying, and felt the tears well up in my eyes because of the warmth of his inclusive and kind words.

Thank you Thomas Gaudex

Here’s a poem I wrote in which I try to describe my personal experience of empathy:

Other Medium Posts with different views on Empathy from Corey Ponder, Stephanie Wittels Wachs, and Alicia Liu: