The Secret To Improving Our Relationships And Building Trust

“There is no greatness where there is no simplicity, goodness, and truth.” Leo Tolstoy

When trying to decide where to start this book, the golden rule seems like a good place, it’s the underlying principle of my life.

Another saying I have always liked is if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

Both of these sayings have heavily influenced me and the way I interact with others. I will admit right up front, I’m not the best at always living up to this standard.

No matter how much I wish I was a nice caring person, it’s hard for me sometimes.

Sometimes I don’t think things through all the way, and inadvertently do something to offend someone.

I don’t care much about politeness and manners personally. When someone says or does something to me that others would consider rude I usually don’t mind or don’t even notice.

This is good because I don’t get upset at every little offense that comes my way.

The downside to this level of aloofness is the fact that I am sometimes insensitive to others’ feelings or emotions.

This is not intentional and I am not trying to hurt anyone, but the damage is done nonetheless.

The easy excuse is to just say sorry I didn’t realize my mistake.

However, it gets to a point where I need to take responsibility for my actions.

There is a balance between saying and doing what we want yet doing it with respect and empathy.

That is what the golden rule means, having empathy for others and treating them with respect.

Empathy is something interesting to me.

I think I am a naturally empathetic person, I am always thinking about other people’s perspectives and trying to put myself in their shoes.

I have come to realize empathy isn’t that common for other people, or maybe they choose to ignore it.

Empathy is good. Not only for helping us understand and relate to one another but also for allowing us to think of problems differently.

Finding solutions that will benefit all parties involved rather than the privileged minority.

If we look at nature there are endless examples of entire ecosystems built by plants and animals living together in a harmonious equilibrium.

As long as no outside forces disturb it, the ecosystem will continue to regulate itself, every species is doing what it needs to survive, they all work together to support all life.

The idea of an ecosystem can apply to businesses as well.

Creating businesses that value their employees and are mindful of the environment; will create a sustainable economy that benefits everyone.

“The wise who are trained and disciplined shine out like beacon lights. They earn money just as a bee gathers honey without harming the flowers, and they let it grow as an anthill slowly gains in height. With wealth wisely gained they use it for the benefit of all.” Buddha

Another area to consider that falls under the golden rule is the way we communicate with others. Particularly when It comes to disagreements and arguments.

One of the principles I remember most from the book, How To Will Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnage, is it takes two people to argue. If two people are yelling at each other it is an argument.

If only one person is yelling, that’s just one guy yelling.

With this idea in mind, I approach every confrontation with the same mindset. We are only going to argue if I feel like arguing. It’s entirely up to me how I react and handle this situation.

This is because, as stated before, I try to treat everyone I meet with empathy and respect.

The other reason is, I refuse to allow other people to have control over me.

If I let the things people say and do get to me, I will always be happy or sad depending on how other people are treating me.

We are in control of our thoughts and words unless we allow other people’s thoughts and words to have command over us.

This is an ongoing process. I don’t want to argue with anyone, but sometimes I still do.

For me, the important thing is to be aware of the role we play in a situation.

Instead of just blaming the other person, understand we might be part of the problem.

The way we act and treat people reflects who we are as a person. Which leads us to self-awareness.

Thanks for reading, this is from an Ebook I wrote. Click this link to read a free preview, or click one of the links below for other articles I wrote on Medium.