poetry | childhood memories

The Saloon

How I expressed myself as a child

This town’s saloon is the best one you’ll find The service here is truly one of a kind There’s music, dancing, and good food That’s guaranteed to put you in a good mood

Polly runs the place by day She makes sure that you enjoy your stay In the front garden she plants flowers and trees So you can relax and feel the cool breeze

Paul runs the place by night He’s kind and knows what’s right He’s always in style But hides a secret behind his smile

When the guests are gone And he can go upstairs and be withdrawn Enjoying the bath and letting out a yawn He’s neither Polly nor he’s Paul

This poem was written as part of my article on anthropomorphism or object personification. It is about a Polly Pocket saloon toy I had as a child. This is what it looked like:

My sister already had a Polly Pocket clock that I loved to play with.

If you’re not familiar with Polly Pocket, here’s an example of what the figurines looked like in the early 90s:

We only had 3–4 figurines, but we didn’t need more.

When I got the saloon as a gift from my uncle, I was so happy! Of course at age 6 I didn’t know what a saloon really was. My knowledge about saloons came from reading Lucky Luke comic books, and watching the Lucky Luke animated series on TV. In my mind, a saloon was a place where people came together to have fun and relax, and everyone was nice to each other.

Around the age of 6 was the first time that I started actually realizing things about my gender identity. I didn’t have the right words to talk about it though. I knew that “deviant people get a horrible disease (HIV) and die” so I was too scared to say anything. But the saloon gave me the opportunity to express myself silently.

I was too afraid to role play any dialogues, so all “conversations” were held in my mind. I didn’t want anyone to hear me talking about these things. So, on the outside it looked like I was silently placing the figurines in different positions around the saloon. But, inside my mind, every day was a party day at the saloon with lots of music, jokes, and singing!

The round cactus on the left side of the image was a switch. Pressing it once turned on the lights. Actually, the “lights” were the stage lights (the four small round things), and the beer bottle on the bar. If you pressed it twice, the stage lights would flicker and a small light would turn on under the grill! The phallic-looking pink thing on the top right would make the center of the stage spin, so that the figurines could “dance”!

But, that was not all! The saloon had an “upstairs room”! In this room, the stove would light up!

The owner of the saloon, according to 6-year-old Benighted was a person who was known as Polly and Paul. Everyone at the saloon was okay with that. Polly/Paul loved to sing and play the guitar, take care of the garden (lots of water was needed in the desert!), and take care of Abelardo*, the invisible horse! Polly/Paul also loved to sit in the chair outside and watch the sunset, while Abelardo drank some water.

*Abelardo’s name was inspired from a character in the Mexican children’s telenovela “Carrusel” that was airing dubbed on the Greek TV back then. I liked “Carrusel” a lot, because it showed the differences between rich and poor children at school, and I could relate. There was also some romance going on between a poor black boy (the only black child in the whole school) and a very spoiled rich white girl! That was so exciting for me, and of course I was rooting for poor Cirilo!

At night, when the saloon would close, Polly/Paul would go to the upstairs room. There, they could take of their imaginary clothes, and enjoy a relaxing bath before going to bed. Polly/Paul would always go alone upstairs — entry was forbidden to any guests!

That was because the upstairs room was the only place where Polly/Paul could be fully themselves without having to be a specific gender. Not that I knew exactly what “gender” was back then.

When Polly/Paul had rested enough, the saloon was ready to re-open for a new day! But not without feeding Abelardo first!

Thank you for reading!