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Abstract

ype="7">I deserve to put myself first.</p><h1 id="5b8e">3. It’s a marathon, not a race</h1><p id="9bc6">In the early days of reclaiming my voice, I had so many realizations of where I was being a doormat that it was tempting to try to correct it all overnight.</p><p id="c642">The reality is that these things take time. If someone has crossed one of your boundaries for months or years, <b>it won’t suddenly unravel overnight.</b></p><p id="757c">I like to think of these things as icebergs. You need to chip away at them until the problem one day just melts away. For example:</p><blockquote id="290b"><p>I used to have a really hard time with saying no to an invite. I didn’t want to disappoint the other person. In the beginning, every no I made felt MASSIVE. So I started with the smaller invites with acquaintances and worked my way up to bigger invites with close loved ones.</p></blockquote><blockquote id="9c27"><p>Nowadays, I generally have zero issue expressing that I’m going to pass on an invite.</p></blockquote><h1 id="930e">4. You don’t have to prove anything</h1><p id="ebcd">This is a hard habit to break. Justification.</p><p id="6a7b">I always felt like I had to prove why my boundary was important. I had to give a well-thought-out excuse to decline an invite. I had to provide my laundry list of reasons to get out of doing something I didn’t want to.</p><p id="2008" type="7">You are important. You matter. Your voice, preferences and desires deserve to be heard.</p><p id="bc34">You don’t need to prove your worthiness to anyone. It’s inherent in you.</p><p id="de83"><b>I know this is easier said than done.</b> I especially know it because I spent <i>decades </i>being a doormat who didn’t feel worthy. I tried to do everything perfectly for everyone else to try to prove I was good enough.</p><p id="4a59" type="7">You are enough.</p><h1 id="3213">5. Practice makes perfect</h1><p id="1bae">The internal work is the most important: <b>recognizing your worthiness and that you are enough.</b></p><p id="25cb">As you do this, it will become easier to express what’s important to you.</p><p id="f5d5">To make it practical though, here are my three steps for how to actually express your boundary:</p><p id="dfac"><b>1 Set the stage</b> — give the other person a heads up that you want to discuss what’s going on. It’s best to find the right time, place and mood for this.</p><blockquote id="2d95"><p>“Hey, I want to talk to you about something that happened earlier.”</p></blockquote><p id="9d80"><b>2 Meet halfway</b> —people tend to listen better when they feel they are heard. Before you jump into what’s important to you, lend some understanding to what’s happening for the other person.</p><blockquote id="ef14"><p>“I know you probably feel stressed and overwhelmed right now. I think that’s why you asked me to do ______.” OR “I think that’s why you said ________.”</p></blockquote><p id="bac6">3 <b>Your turn</b> — this is the part where you get to talk about what’s important to you. What was the boundary that was crossed? What do you want to happen differently next time?</p><blockquote id="714e"><p>“Next time, it’s really important to me that we take the time to talk about what needs to happen. It’s not fair for you to yell at me to get it d

Options

one.”</p></blockquote><h1 id="0524">Final Thoughts</h1><p id="e212">You will make the world a better place by expressing your boundaries.</p><p id="1fab"><b>Why?</b> Because by telling others what’s important to you, you step into your worthiness. You remember that <b>you matter</b> and <b>you are enough</b>.</p><p id="57ea">The more that everyone in the world believes that they are worthy, the better off we will be as a human race.</p><p id="3a3b">With love, Megan</p><p id="e3d0"><i>Are you a woman craving support from other women? I just launched a <b>Free Women’s Circle</b> every other Wednesday virtually on Zoom. Come join us:</i></p><div id="e2f0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://yourmoderncoach.com/circle"> <div> <div> <h2>Join our Free Women’s Circle — Megan Llorente | Your Modern Coach</h2> <div><h3>Feeling overwhelmed or discouraged? Come and share your challenges with other like-minded, down-to-earth and real…</h3></div> <div><p>yourmoderncoach.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*dtSVosZ0QS8fYlQU)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="4a3e"><i>Other stories of mine:</i></p><div id="60c3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/damnit-i-am-too-sensitive-how-about-you-9d5e467edb2b"> <div> <div> <h2>Damnit, I AM Too Sensitive… How About You?</h2> <div><h3>Taking feedback is hard</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*JjUm7DG8PQKQHtUav4IDiQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a7e7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-speak-your-truth-like-a-badass-b-tch-8f46c20bf365"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Speak Your Truth Like a Badass B*tch</h2> <div><h3>It’s time to step into who you truly are</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*r91X3oVkh_5iUjg2bk_I2g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="149d"><i>Support my writing journey:</i></p><div id="687b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://meganllorente.medium.com/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link — Megan Llorente</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>meganllorente.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*IdVMABliAmOKQ4YR)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

The Rollercoaster of League of Legends

Triumphs, Tilt, and Tired Mistakes — Road to Diamond Episode 5

Image created by the author using Canva and Riot Games assets. I will update the image every episode with the champions that gave me the most headaches during the session. Lee Sin added.

“What I have done… cannot be undone” — Zed, The Master of Shadows.

Thank you for being with me, Zed!

The fifth episode of this Road to Diamond series stressed me out significantly.

Even though the series ended in a positive zone, I haven’t enjoyed the session.

Stay with me to find out why!

Summary of the games

As you can see, I played five games.

I will give a summary of the games, and after, I will share with you the challenges, struggles, and mistakes.

Game 1

Top and Bottom lanes fed as if they didn’t care!

I tried to play as best as I could. As you can see, I had a decent score (16/7/4). But I couldn’t win it. Only the midlaner played something in this game.

At least I had some good plays I can use for my YouTube channel.¹

Game 2

They banned Zed, so I picked Diana!

I was the feeder in this game and also my toplaner. J4 was way better than me. He was everywhere. This loss hurt me because I got demoted to Platinum 2. This is the worst part of this game: you need four wins to climb, but it is enough to lose one or two games to be demoted.²

This is so frustrating.

Game 3

What a boring game!

Their jungler, Viego, quit the game. We destroyed them. It was the best game of the session in terms of stats.

No more comments!

Back to Platinum 1.

Game 4

Because the third one ended faster than the average, I chose to play another one.

Bad idea!

Lee Sin was everywhere! I couldn’t face him. I disrespected him in the early game and gave him some free kills. I had stupid plays.³

Also, our bot was weaker than a minion wave.

I deserved to lose.⁴

Game 5

That was the most frustrating game of the session. I was on the peak of my tilt. I couldn’t control myself, so I made numerous mistakes in the first part of the match.

Imagine I was 1/7 before minute 20. At this moment, the game is already lost.

But I didn’t lose it.

I calmed down, started to get fed, and did my things.⁵

We won!

So I won two games out of five. I started the series with 6 LPs and ended it with 25 LPs.

Then, what’s the problem?

Mistakes I have made in this series

That day, I had a party event I had to attend. After parties, people are usually tired, don’t they? Even so, I chose to play some games. You don’t play Ranked games if you are tired unless you want to lose your LPs.
I couldn’t control myself and got tilted in almost every game of the session. Don’t play anymore if this happens. Take a break, and continue later.
I played more than three games. This leads to fatigue, bigger chances of getting tilted, and mistakes in the game.
It’s ok to end the series with fewer LPs.⁶
I haven’t enjoyed the session. I played it for the sake of climbing and having content. This happened because I was tired, as I said.

I want not to repeat these. Playing when you are tired is dangerous.

The Play of the Day

I don’t have it for this episode because I haven’t posted it on YouTube.

Why?

I have a clip that is performing extraordinarily. I didn’t want to interrupt it.

By now, it has over 100k views (imagine the average of my channel is 4k-6k), and it got me 37 subscribers.

It is a play I had in one of the sessions. So, even though this content is not bringing me positive stats on Medium, at least it made me have that clip.

Amazing!

Future improvements

Nothing more than repeating those mistakes!

Anyway, what I have done… cannot be undone!

Relevant aspects for real-life

Every bad part of your life has a good part, too. Intent to find it!
To reach success, you have to put in insane efforts and work, but it is enough one mistake to destroy everything you have created.
Don’t disrespect people. You can get humbled by life in no time.
It is ok to admit the moments you are a loser. It makes you wiser.
When things don’t go as you want, calm down, start to work more, and do your things.
Not every day should be a victory. We are human, after all. Besides this, how would you learn if there would be only victories? So, don’t complain if the last day of your week wasn’t as good as the others.

End of episode 5

Even though mistakes have been made, I ended the series in Platinum 1 with 25 LP. At this moment, I am three or four wins away from reaching Emerald.

Thank you for reading!

The fourth episode is here if you have missed it.

🎮You may subscribe to my YouTube channel if you are a League of Legends enthusiast!
📖Take a read on this, too: The Joy of Gaming: More About The Gamer Inside Me.
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