The Rejection Lion Stalks My Panther Persona
Fraternal Twins in My Spirit
KTHT Prompt — Personify one of your insecurities and write about it.
I’ve always loved big cats as a result of my dad taking me to Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus throughout my childhood even into my freshman year of college. The big cats were always so graceful yet powerful as demonstrated by the occasional swipe of the paw at the Lion “tamer”.
I grew up thinking I was not the least bit beautiful. Yet, with a little attention from the opposite sex, I began to change my self-talk. In my 20s I began to compare my “persona” to a sleek Black Panther, graceful, and strong — I still aspired to be beautiful but the Panther had enough beauty for us both.
Over the next few decades, I began to realize that the origin of my self-talk was actually a result of watching Batman reruns in the early ’70s when I was in first grade. Earth Kitt as Catwoman showed me a beautiful Black woman who was smart and naughty. She moved and purred like a cat but did not make me think of little house cats. I knew there was something special about her character but couldn’t quite put the name to it.
Take 5 With Fanae-5 — The Insecurity of Deeply Ingrained Rejection*
Rejection as an insecurity is very complex. Growing up feeling rejected by family members can cause a person to develop insecurities that impact how they navigate their lives. The response to the perceived rejection can also foster a sense of guilt. The guilt can stem from a sense of not meeting some spiritual expectation of honor or as one realizes they are responding to insecurity more than the actual event. Either way, guilt only helps to ingrain the insecurity.
Friends have their own lives and even other friends. Long phone conversations may become “drive bys’ — “how are you? Glad you’re good. I’ll talk to you later”. Technology also enables text messages with cute emojis for depth. Even with lifelong friends, time may bring about a change that does not have to be deemed as negative. The only constant is change!
The rejection lion growls see — after all you’ve done he/she is kicking you to the curb.
The panther says wait — are you placing conditions on this friendship — why are you trying to define it? —They know how demanding your job is and that you don’t take a lot of time for self-care. Maybe they are respecting that! Can’t you just let it be?
Your friends can’t fill the hole in your heart created by your ingrained rejection. Live your life — appreciate the life you have with your friends. Love your friends — love yourself!
Life “events” — marriage may dissolve into divorce-Children inevitably grow into independence.
The rejection lion growls see — after all you’ve done he/she is not even fighting to save the marriage. You may not have been the easiest to live with but you could have been a lot worse! You tried to be a good wife or husband /mother or fatther — You focused on ensuring the children were exposed to all types of different experiences and people . It wasn’t cheap and took a lot of time as you maintained a full time job and tried to be a good wife or husband /mother or fanther= For all of them — you made a huge sac….
STOP!!
The Panther swipes it’s paw and growls — don’t you dare say the word sacrifice!! Repeatedly hearing that word added a layer of guilt to the insecurity. Don’t you dare say the word sacrifice — that’s one of the reasons you became so ingrained in the first place-Mr. Rejecgtion Lion!
Read more about conditional love and rejection in the story below.
Please feel free to buy me a cup of herbal tea if you enjoyed reading my story.
