The Reason Why Nothing Seems To Change No Matter How Hard You Try.

Do you ever feel that nothing seems to change no matter how hard you try? Let me help you understand why it is such a challenge to move that dial for many of us!

Who are you?

Let’s begin with, who are you?

And when did you define yourself?

The answers to these questions hold the key to everything else in your life- your career, your relationships, your health, and your wealth.

If you desire to change anything in any aspect of your life, it has to start with who you believe you are. Because human beings never fail to follow through on who they think they are. The need to stay consistent with who we think we’re is basic human behavior.

And it’s this need to stay consistent with who we believe we are that can keep us stuck. That’s why diets fail, budgets fail, and breaking from addictions is so tough!

When did you define yourself?

How did we define ourselves? Often, this story of who we are is not something we consciously created.

When I was a teacher, I would cringe at the labels parents placed on their kids; timid, slow, clever; my question to these labels is; by whose standards? Focusing on inspiring changed behavior is more helpful than labeling behavior. If a child falls behind in school, see what he needs to improve his learning experience rather than label him as slow.

Most of the time, our families, communities, teachers, and society create the story of who we are. Fortunately, this story can be re-written.

We can change the script on who we believe we are.

I was told I was shy, quiet, studious, and of average abilities as a child. None of which are true! Yes, I am shy only when standing next to someone I find extremely attractive. Then I can barely breathe, let alone speak. I am not shy, quiet, in studios, or of average abilities at all other times.

Fortunately, at sixteen, I had a significant awakening. I decided to create my narrative of who I am, based on my self-discovery, not on someone else’s subjective idea of who I am.

Who do you want to be?

What are you trying to accomplish in your life? What area in your life would you like to change? If you’re struggling to achieve, change or attract your deepest desires, very likely it’s because who you believe you are (deep down) is at odds with what you truly desire.

And you’re doing all you can subconsciously to stay consistent with your beliefs of who you are. You may even make excuses for why the change is not happening. E.g., you want to lose weight, but you say that you can’t because everyone in your family is overweight. And no matter what you do, you can never lose weight.

What are your limitations?

What are some of your perceived limitations? Your ability to take on a new role at work? Maybe, you struggle with maintaining healthy relationships or speaking in public. Is consistently working out a challenge for you?

When did you decide to accept this limitation? Would you like to expand the identity you have carved about yourself that supported this old limitation? How would you reframe your image?

Can you see a different person emerge when you connect to your true nature? Did you want to make a shift? What if you started to see yourself differently?

Bringing it all together

If you desire to step into a healthier lifestyle, raise your standards and start to identify yourself as a healthier person. Support this with consistent action.

And then turn it into a ritual. No matter what happens, you will exercise and eat healthily. Turn these actions into a ritual. Will power does not last, but rituals do.

And surround yourself with people who align with your new identity. You must have the support of people who share the same vision.

Changing anything outside has to start with changing what goes on inside.

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