The Psychology of Double Penetration

Everything You Need to Know About The Experience of Double Penetration

As many of my followers already know, my sexual history is quite lengthy. I’ve always been as safe as humanly possible and cannot emphasize enough the importance of handling sex maturely, like the adults that we are. While this story doesn’t seek to pressure anyone into an activity they do not, and cannot enjoy (none of my stories ever will), it does tell of my experiences and the real facts of double penetration from someone who’s done it many times.

The internet has plenty of porn, yet, finds itself conspicuously lacking in information about the practice of double penetration, so I sought to bring both my experiences and the experiences of others, as well as some science into a story about double penetration.

I’d like to get some facts out there and dispel some myths about the practice, giving my take on a rather new phenomenon.

Before I proceed, a bit about etiquette and then we can get to the good stuff, so I’ll start by saying that if you haven’t read my work The Etiquette of Anal Sex: The Gentleman’s Guide to Anal Sex, I ask that you do so before proceeding, as there is some absolutely vital information in that story that will prove extremely useful in deciding if double penetration is right for you.

That story can be found here.

If you’re a man or giving-partner, you likely already have your mind made up, but your ass isn’t the one on the line (literally), so I ask that you view that material and digest it thoroughly before approaching such a monumental task as double penetration.

The Rising Star

Double penetration is a popular staple of pornographic films, and it’s quite possible that outside of a few rare and daring instances, it likely didn’t happen outside of pornography for most of human history. It’s difficult, cumbersome, and requires comfortable polyamory coupled with liberal sexual views and a society that nurtures sexual openness, so while it’s not necessarily entirely a byproduct of porn, it’s definitely an outgrowth of it, and a prime example of life reflecting art.

After 2010, according to Pornhub statistics, the parent genre “Gangbang” attracted more and more viewers every single year, as is discussed in my story All About Analingus (here), increasing 499% between 2009 and 2015.

According to the stats from the pornography giant PornHub, viewership of all things anal has been on the rise for years, decades even, with a 120% jump in viewership in the United States from 2009 to 2015, and a 78% jump worldwide.

There is a stark divide among those searching for anal-related pornography, and while there is a divide between the human sexes, with men being 33% more likely to search for anal-related porn, the difference is actually age. 18–24-year-olds are significantly less interested in anal than their older counterparts 25 and up, and this group is 290% more likely to search for My Little Pony themed porn than others, but 33% less likely to search for anal related porn than older groups.

Simply put, people are more interested in at least watching a gangbang, usually including double penetration than they are anal sex by itself. It’s a popular item on the porn menu. But is that because of its remoteness, it’s inaccessibility to the average person, including its difficulty to discuss, perform, and the corresponding social taboos that make it an embarrassing topic for many to bring up?

All in all, anal sex and double penetration are on the rise on a massive scale, with the fading of old religious codes and anti-sodomy laws that have prevented their practice by making them outright prohibitive. Double penetration could almost be viewed as the top taboo which has gained supreme and unchallenged popularity among viewers of pornography, and to a lesser extent, the bedrooms of everyday sex partners.

The Quest for Pleasure

I’ll just come out and say it here, I was deeply surprised and moved by the response from the woman involved the first time I tried double penetration, expecting a long, slow process whereby we would inch into her and she could slowly adapt to having a significantly greater amount of pressure in highly sensitive areas. The reality, to my surprise and enjoyment, was that she took to it quite well, and within the first minute was orgasming multiple times in one long sequence of repetitive orgasms that seemingly never ended.

One should never involve themselves in sexual practices which hurt them unless of course, that’s your thing, and I can confidently say that this young woman’s experience isn’t an act in isolation; I can safely say that I’ve never been involved in an experience of double penetration where the woman was not totally satisfied, and I’m not saying that they were passively satisfied, either, they all took the initiative to vocalize their enjoyment without being prompted.

When it comes to a massive amount of pleasure, even women who don’t particularly like anal sex often find double penetration with a toy immensely pleasurable, and this is because of the nerve endings that share the vaginal and anal walls, nerve endings which receive stimulation on both sides, rather than just one. There are women out there who find anal sex or anal play alone either a bore or a literal pain in the butt, but these same women often find double penetration amazingly pleasurable, so if this is you, you’re not alone.

The Perianal nerves and surrounding tissue (called the Perianal Sponge, in women) are responsible for the heightened levels of sexual pleasure derived from the anus and its corresponding stimulation in both men and women. The famed prostate orgasms have their corresponding anal orgasms in women, that most women can achieve just as most men can, though not all members of each respective sex can achieve these, and that’s perfectly okay.

Scientifically speaking, we’re all (yes, men and women) *almost* designed to be able to have wonderful, enjoyable, pleasurable anal orgasms, and it’s nothing for us to be ashamed of. This is a part of our humanity.

While I’ve personally never seen a woman had a bad experience with me and another person involved, that isn’t to say that bad experiences don’t happen, and it would be entirely unfair if I weren’t to precaution anyone considering this to do some serious research, read my pieces as well as other articles you find on the internet, take in all the knowledge you can before deciding to take the plunge. As I’ve said before, the anus is not a part of the body to mistreat and can lead to lasting damage if not treated properly, and this requires a lot of trust in your partner. A list of experiences can be found here, some good, some bad, and it might shed some light on how different people respond to the practice differently.

All in all, my personal opinion, forged through almost 2 decades of constant experience, is that when something goes wrong with anal, it’s usually the giving-partner not being patient enough, or the pair not building enough trust or practice before trying it.

The fact remains, that as we grow as a species, certain groups of people will reach for newfound heights of sexual pleasure and orgasmic ecstasy, and double penetration is an extremely easy way to achieve this for those that enjoy it.

Porn is Not Reality

When it comes to being the male or giving partner in a double penetration situation, what you see in porn is not at all what you get in real life. There are a lot of cuts, different camera tricks, and editing which make it look much more smooth than it is.

The fact is, there are 3 pairs of legs for a total of 6 legs in the same general vicinity, all which battle for leverage to hold themselves up, as each participant must carry their own weight and sort of help the structure of all of the participants maintain a comfortable stance.

Balance is extremely tricky, and the hardest part about double penetration isn’t simply doing it, it’s finding the right balance so that your center of gravity can appropriately hold you up, all the while not interrupting the balance of the other parties involved.

This is also tiring, and one becomes exhausted very, very quickly. While women often do not report pain, but rather, pleasure, they can sometimes be a little weirded out by the sheer pressure involved, as the lower portion of their pelvis becomes engorged immensely more than usual.

Be prepared for this act to take multiple sessions and don’t force it if any of the members are becoming tired or uncomfortable. This is demanding of our bodies, much like BDSM suspension, and precautions in regards to our physical safety should never be ignored.

The Psychology: Why Do We Enjoy MFM?

So why do those who love double-dipping, mostly men, seem to love it so much? There are several reasons for this, and a few of them are:

1. A chance to be more sexually liberal around other men. Let’s face it, our society still shuns homosexuality or anything remotely homosexual to a large degree, this is a chance for men to experiment with other men while maintaining the bounds of heteronormativity. It’s a way for men to experience the oxytocin-induced bond of a sexual encounter with other men, without actually participating in sexual activities with other men. We’re growing…growing more comfortable both with ourselves and with other people — this is a very good thing.
2. Some men, myself included, find sexually liberated women extremely attractive, and a woman who’s in touch with a deep and carnal sexual drive that they put into practice can be downright sexy. A woman who’s willing to be selfish and bask in her own hedonistic pleasure of sex, rather than being an object that’s merely there to please her partners is a turn on for some of us.
3. Men often report that they like putting their partner through an enjoyable experience. Sometimes men get carried away with this idea and mistake forcing an experience on their partner that their partner does not want — don’t ever do this. That aside, there is an endearing nature to the fact that many women are willing to lower their own egos and help facilitate their partners’ exploration of sex with others within the boundaries that they feel are comfortable — the boundaries of them being present and whichever other boundaries might be agreed upon before starting. Men want their women to be able to experience other men but might not be comfortable with not being present, and it’s just one expression among a few about loving their partner enough to give them the blessings of being with them and another man.
4. Many guys like anal sex. Many guys like watching their women have sex with others. Many guys like vaginal sex. It’s not hard to see how the math adds up here.
5. As mentioned earlier, the pleasure can be tremendous and overwhelming for the woman involved, and I think that most men deeply want to see their partners in the depths of ecstasy, viewing the MFM as a way to do this, to become more sexual while they enjoy one another. It’s an additional element, the desert with the dinner.
6. The sheer taboo — yes, it’s frankly kind of bizarre, if you think about it. It’s a way for partners to reject the social norm together, to do something radical and different, and to actually bond in what can be seen as an act of freedom and love on a deeply philosophical level. This isn’t to be underestimated here, it’s more than mere hubris, there is something to be said about sexual and relationship liberty, something magical that I can testify to as a man who’s in an MFM polyamorous relationship.

In closing, while I’ve had nothing but great experiences, and so have my partners, and I simply cannot emphasize that fact enough, I’m absolutely certain that people out there have had bad experiences, so precaution should always be observed, trust and boundaries established, and preparation done well in advance. This is no simple act like they portray it in porn and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Of course, I’ll add a closing note here, that no one should ever be pressured into sexual activity that they don’t agree with or consent to verbally.

Sexual activities that haven’t been mutually agreed upon should never be expected from our partners, they don’t owe us their bodies in various ways, and there’s magic in the fact that our partners give themselves to us.

Aside from those precautionary measures, if you decide this is for you, have fun — I truly hope you enjoy yourself and that your partners do too. There are definitely reasons for the popularity of this act, but we must be careful that we do this and all other sex acts properly, so that we may maximize the fun, healthiness, and pleasurability.

Here’s another story of mine I suggest giving a read…

© 2019; Joe Duncan. All Rights Reserved