The Proust Questionnaire, Subset 1 by Tree Langdon, Answered For Be Open by @Ginger S.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

-I think perfect happiness looks different to each person and depends on what is important to them. Perfect happiness could be laying on the beach watching the waves hit the shore, listening to the wind in the trees on a hike, or pushing through the crowd at a ball game to get to those great seats. To my mind, perfect happiness looks something like sitting on a screen porch sipping iced tea while listening to the birds and cicadas flit about in the warm summer breeze.

2. What is your greatest fear?

- Pain, full stop pain is my greatest fear. Specifically intractable physical pain which by its very definition can’t be identified stopped or cured. Pain muddles your mind so you can’t think straight, it will keep you from being able to sleep or even function.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? -Definitely, my need for everyone to like me is the trait I deplore the most. I would truly love to be free to live my life as I choose without being concerned about what others think of my every action, for two main reasons: One, I would like the freedom it would give me, and Two; I think being as concerned as I am about what people think is very narcissistic.

4. Which living person do you most admire? -I admire Malala Yousafzai because she understood the importance of knowledge and was willing to risk her life to get an education. When she was shot rather than give in she fought harder to make sure she got the education her detractors were so afraid of her having and now works to make sure everyone has access to education.

5. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

-Virginity is by far the most overrated virtue. Do I think everyone should have sex at the first opportunity? No. I do think however that tying a woman’s worth as a person to when and with whom she chooses to have sexual intercourse is a misogynistic, antiquated, and dare I say it stupid idea. 6. On what occasion do you lie?

-I will admit, I lie when the feelings of the person being lied to would be needlessly hurt by the truth and when I was faced with the possibility of violence if I told the truth. 7. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

-According to my kids, I overused the saying “Well that was unpleasant.” or just the word unpleasant in general. To my mind, however, unpleasant is the best word choice for any number of situations. Do I have a splinter in my finger? Yes and it is unpleasant, Have I fallen down some steps? Yep, still unpleasant. 8. What or who is the greatest love of your life? - I feel like there is an expectation that these questions are answered with the blanket statement “ My family of course” Which is true, however, I want to go past the easy answer. With this in mind, knitting is the greatest love of my life. I love all aspects of the knitting process from picking the yarn and pattern to finishing the seams. There is something meditative and cathartic for me in the simple act of knitting. I can clear my mind of distractions and focus on the feel of the yarn moving through my fingers. I very rarely keep anything I have knit mostly because as I have said before and will say again the process of knitting is as important, if not more, to me as the finished product.

9. When and where were you happiest?

-When I was 17 while visiting friends in London we went to a tiny little village, whose name has escaped me. At the time the village center was eight little houses down one side of the main street with a pub and a church on the other side of the street. Behind the houses were fields that were marked with short stone walls and full of sheep and Jersey milk cows. I spent most of my time, when not in the pub, sitting on the little stone wall watching the sheep graze this grass which was a nearly unreal shade of green. The only thing to be heard was the twitter of birds, the baaing of the sheep, and the clank of cowbells. I have never felt so at peace and happy again. Writing this answer has brought such a flood of memories I have decided to revisit it for a story later. 10. Which talent would you most like to have? -I would love to be able to play the cello and piano. I love listening to both instruments However, I don’t have any desire to learn how to play either of them.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? -I would like to not second guess every single move I make. To be fearless to pursue whatever I set my mind to. Or I guess being willing to try and risk failure rather than not try at all.

12. What do you consider your greatest achievement? -Getting to where I am today with my mental health. Have I overcome my mental illness one hundred percent? No, but I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know the value of taking my medication and taking care of myself and most importantly I know I don’t have this illness because I have somehow failed.

13. Where would you most like to live? -If I could choose anywhere to live it would be England. I adore the English countryside. I’m sure it sounds silly but the air seems different in England. A cottage in a rural country town close to a railway would be ideal.

14. What do you most value in your friends? -Loyalty is very important in a friendship. I don’t think you can truly be friends with someone you aren’t willing to go to bat for. How this loyalty manifests itself is different between each pair of friends. I love my kids but I know when they are adults and off living their own lives my friends will still be by my side.

15. Which historical figure do you most identify with? -This is by far the hardest question for me to answer. I have racked my brain and I can’t think of just one historical figure I identify with. There are several people who I identify with partly, be it an aspect of their personality or an action they took in their lives.

16. Who are your heroes in real life? - I have several heroes, what they have in common is their fearlessness in the face of adversity and willingness to do what is necessary to help make the world a better place.

17. What is your greatest regret? - this may seem odd but my greatest regret is that I didn’t live on my own before I got married. I lived with my parents until I met my future husband then we moved in together. Could I handle being alone and being solely responsible for myself and my home? I’d like to think so but honestly, I have no idea.

18. What is your motto?

I am not sure if this counts as a motto but I like to live my life following the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you with a generous dash of don’t let the bastards get you down.

Additional question:

19. If you could ask the magic genie in Aladdin’s lamp to grant you any three wishes, what would they be?

1-Good health for myself and my family.

2-Enough money so we don’t have to worry about food and healthcare.

3-A safe and secure home for the rest of our lives.

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