COVIDIOT HUMOR
The Pros and Cons Of Taking Horse Dewormer To Treat COVID-19
Yea or neigh on this miracle cure?
Pro: You “did your own research” and took control of your health.
Con: The TV show doctors on Fox News Channel didn’t specify dosage levels for this miracle cure.
Pro: Cowgirls love it when you stand up for animal rights.
Con: The horse whose medicine you stole is now riddled with worms.
Pro: The flowing mane of your brushed-out mullet has a glorious new shine.
Con: Last night, you were ridden hard and put away wet.
Pro: You impressed all your friends on your ivermectin Facebook group.
Con: All your internet pals called Mississippi poison control, and you couldn’t get through.
Pro: You finally got rid of that chronic constipation.
Con: You shat out the interior lining of your stomach with your morning Froot Loops.
Pro: You suddenly have loads of nervous energy.
Con: You piss your pants every time someone yells, “giddyup!”
Pro: You finally found a physician you trust with your life.
Con: The veterinarian who treats you isn’t covered by your health insurance. (Thanks, Obama!)
Pro: Your scabies, elephantiasis, and river blindness are all but cured.
Con: Your vision is blurring, and you’re horny for jackasses.
Pro: The vomiting and seizures only lasted an hour.
Con: The humiliation of ralphing on the Texas Roadhouse server will last a lifetime.
Pro: You avoided taking a reliable life-saving vaccine and kept your freedom.
Con: Your company has a mandatory vaccine policy, so you’re free to no longer work there.
Pro: You bought all the ivermectin at the local livestock store.
Con: You’re stuck with a lifetime supply of this hydroxychloroquine crap.
Pro: You feel a special bond with your prized Shetland pony.
Con: You had to sell Mr. Bojangles to cover your medical bills.
Pro: You proved to the world that you’re not a sheep.
Con: The price of horse dewormer spiked, so you swapped to sheep dewormer.
Pro: The Grateful Dead sounds amazing when you’re buzzed on this stuff.
Con: You can’t hear the radio over the ventilator keeping you alive.
Pro: You’re back in the saddle again!
Con: You were committed to a mental care facility for people who think they’re barnyard animals.
This is a satirical article. Do not take medication intended for livestock under any circumstances.
For more animalistic humor by Ryan Zaharako, check out: