The Power of the Word Hello
And how it was my most important networking tool of 2019
Hello.
That’s it.
It’s the word that opens all the doors of opportunity in our lives, but one we sometimes battle to say the most.
My parents told me stories about when they were growing up how it was standard procedure that if you were a driver of a certain brand of car (It was especially prolific in Land Rover’s), and you drove past another of the same brand, you exchanged a wave.
Naturally, this stuck with me. These interactions never happen anymore.
A few years later, we decided to buy an old 1969 Land Rover Series 2A as a project car. On our first drive the other day, after it had been refurbished, I noticed another old ‘Landy’ drive past. The driver hooted and waved.
It was such a foreign interaction for me — a stranger just saying hello for the hell of it.
We regularly saw that same old Landy driving around town (it’s a very small little fishing village in the Eastern Cape, South Africa) and eventually met the owner in the shops.
We naturally got started on the topic of old Landy’s — the story of ours, and found common interest. It turned out the guy was able to get my brother an internship at his company.
That whole relationship came as a result of one small gesture from him — a hoot and a wave.
An increase in ease-of-conversation over the internet has meant the slow decline in our skill to have actual conversations that matter. Its easier than ever to engage with someone virtually, meaning we don’t need to do it face-to-face.
An example is the modern way of hiring people. It’s not uncommon for a company to hire a freelancer without having ever met them or spoken to them in person. A few years ago, that exchange of services would have required multiple engagements and conversations.
This is just one example of numerous interactions that have been lost due to the change in the way we interact. Food delivery services, online shopping, virtual banking, instant messaging and automatic transport payments — to name a few.
As technology is replacing jobs that humans used to do, we are losing conversation opportunities with those very people. Technology has made our lives much more efficient, but has also meant we’re able to live a life without looking up from behind a screen.
Because of this, it has also become more essential than ever to be able to hold important conversations with people that matter. What is becoming evident, though, is a new generation of people growing up without that skill.
As a natural introvert, initiating conversation can sometimes be intimidating and difficult. I’d always been taught and told about the value of networking in the business world: It’s not what you know, its who you know.
So, as part of a personal project I was working on at the time to overcome some anxiety issues, I set myself the goal of saying hello to just one random person every single day for a month.
The results were astounding.
The most interesting takeaway was the immediate impact it had on the people I was interacting with.
I started out with older people, who were less intimidating and would likely be more accepting of a stranger starting a conversation out of the blue with them (Side note: older people also just love knowing that someone cares about them. These were by far my most fulfilling conversations during the month).
Initially, it was difficult. There were a few really awkward encounters.
I soon learned the best way to get someone to lower their guards and open up was by leading with a ‘sympathetic’ statement. Not sympathetic as in; “Oh you’re battling with that heavy thing, let me help you”, rather something that shows the person you recognize the situation they’re in.
Here’s an example of one I used in my local coffee shop with a pretty barrister that I’d never had the confidence to say anything beyond “Thank you” to; “You guys are super busy today, I don’t know how you do it all day.”
She replied with a short laugh and something which circumvented the ‘compliment’ and I continued the conversation with “I’m Simon by the way, I’ve never introduced myself properly. I work upstairs.”
Her name is Bridgette, and this last weekend we went for a drink together.
From my month of random “Hello’s” — aside from being labelled as the block chatterbox — I learnt two main things:
- Within most people there is a deep yearning for a genuine connection with someone. Also within most people, there is an equally deep fear of rejection stopping them from initiating the conversations that lead to those valuable interactions, and;
- The opportunity cost that you pay every single time you don’t engage with someone who either interests you as a person, or is doing something interesting is huge. Sure, there will be times you get rejected, but ultimately, that person will probably forget about you and the encounter all together by the end of the day. At least you’ll never suffer the regret of not initiating a conversion and wondering ‘What If?’.
As our world evolves, relationships are becoming increasingly valuable. Anxiety, depression and mental health issues are more prevalent than ever and we’re seeking genuine interactions that help us feel loved and fulfilled.
The only way we can do that is through genuine relationships.
Relationships are the mechanism through which we get to impact people’s lives. It is through that influence, and witnessing the change we can make that we realize true fulfillment.
Relationships can’t happen without the word ‘Hello’. So start there. Do it frequently and do it without abandon.
Start today — say Hello to a stranger. You won’t regret it.