How to Be Confident in Business Meetings
Coming from someone who used to be shy and anxious, and now sits down with C-level execs every week.
Dealing with other people can be difficult if it’s not a skill you’re naturally gifted with. This is especially true in high-pressure situations where there is a lot on the line — like a business meeting where you are representing your company.
A Generation of Behind-The-Screen Communicators
The young generation of people who are starting to dip their toes into the waters of the business world aren’t as adept at face-to-face communication as our parents are.
It sounds rudimentary, but it's true. Most of us have grown up speaking to our friends mostly over the phone. For some, the situation is worse than others.
I know I was only allowed a phone when I turned 15. To me, it seemed like I was so lame at the time. It turned out to be one of the best things my parents did for me.
If I wanted to engage with friends, I had to make a plan to go see them. It forced me to deal directly with people through those character-shaping years of puberty. I couldn’t hide behind a screen.
I was forced into situations where my character was tested, and developed. I had to learn to be confident around girls, otherwise, they wouldn’t be interested in me. I couldn’t craft a false persona behind a phone where I had time to think about a witty reply.
I think it’s given me an edge in conducting myself in business meetings at a young age, where some of my peers have come to me asking “How do you come across so calm, composed and confident?”
What most people don’t realize is that dealing with people — and especially extracting what you want from them in an interaction — is a skill. Like every other skill you have, if you want to be good at it, you need to practice.
In my first few business meetings, I was pretty hopeless. Since then, I think I have improved. Here are a few tricks I’ve used to get better.
Win the Person to Win the Meeting
At the end of the day, it is going to be very difficult to extract what you want to from a meeting with someone if you cannot see eye-to-eye — at least to some small extent — with them.
Humans are subjective animals. Even the most rational thinkers among us will battle to put their egos away during a negotiation.
If they don’t like you, they’re probably not going to like your idea.
So get them to like you. Even if it means sacrificing your ego. Especially if it means sacrificing your ego.
Here are some ways you can do that:
A bit of small talk goes a long way
You don’t have to dive straight into business. Have a casual conversation with the person for a few minutes.
Get a sense for their mood, state-of-mind and what kind of person you’re dealing with.
Don’t overstep the boundaries, though. They are there for a reason. If you sense they are getting tense with the small-talk, acknowledge that and get cracking.
Find common ground
A little bit of prep here helps. Find common ground beforehand and work that casually into conversation. Common interests, mutual friends, etc. help establish a bit of rapport.
It also relaxes the atmosphere and makes for a much more conducive conversation.
Show interest in their business before mentioning yours
They’re working hard to make their business a success. Showing you care about their progress and where they’re headed opens them up to the fact that you’ve got their interests in mind too.
Smile
It seems simple, but it's much more inviting to engage with someone who isn’t wearing a resting-bitch-face. Smiling opens yourself up to the engagement. It makes conversing with you much more inviting.
A scowl can seem like you’re rejecting what they have to offer.
Body posture
The same way your face conveys a message about your internal thinking, your body does too. There are a few things you should try to do and avoid doing to encourage free conversation:
- Sit up straight. Don’t slouch.
- Maintain eye contact, but not too much. Staring looks creepy. Maintain eye contact in short moments and nod your head to show you’re listening.
- Don’t cross your arms. It’s the universal signal for: I’m closed off to you, and your ideas.
- Don’t lean backward in your chair. Leaning forward shows interest and keeps the other person engaged.
- Avoid putting any objects between you and the people/person you’re conversing with. Objects serve as a barrier between you and them and can seem like you’re protecting yourself. (Not really body-posture related)
Be Prepared
Especially if you have initiated the meeting.
There is nothing that’s going to get you into the other attendee’s bad books as quickly as arriving unprepared.
You’ve asked for some of their time, now make sure you 1. Make it worth their while and 2. Don’t use it up unnecessarily.
Here are some ways you can make sure you are properly prepared for a meeting:
Send a meeting request
This shows everyone how much time you need for the meeting and also shows them you’re serious about respecting their time.
Include the details: Length, Venue, Details. Update at a later stage if necessary with any notes.
Use a specific headline:
Don’t call the meeting something like “Apple meets Google”
Rather call it, “Apple and Google Initial Introductory Meeting”
Set an agenda
This is highly dependent on the person you’re meeting with, the nature of the meeting and what you’re going to be discussing.
For example, if it is an introductory meeting where you’re just sitting down over a coffee to run a quick idea past an old family friend who used to work in the industry, an agenda probably isn’t necessary.
If you’re sitting down with 5 other people who are all gathering from different companies to layout a shareholders agreement for a Newco you’re establishing, an agenda is definitely necessary.
The agenda should include the purpose/mission of the meeting. Answer the question: Why are we all here today? It should also include the order of discussion of topics: How are we going to achieve the goal set out for this meeting?
Arrive early
There’s nothing that will throw your composure out the window like arriving in a rush. You’ll be flustered and won’t be thinking clearly.
Arriving early and allowing yourself some time to gather your thoughts, remind yourself of the names of everyone you’re meeting, and take in your surroundings is always a good idea.
I sometimes enjoy sitting in a glass boardroom waiting for the rest of the attendees and just observing the office culture. Watching the employee's interactions and goings-on gives you some subtle cues into who you’re dealing with.
Know who you’re dealing with
Do your research on the people in the room. Try and find out what makes them tick so you can avoid (or press on) certain topics.
The better you know who you’re sitting around the table with, the more likely it will be that you will garner something positive from the meeting.
Have the answers
Depending on the nature of the meeting, you need to have your material adequately prepared.
If you are pitching, you need to have all the answers to every question you could possibly imagine them asking. Know your figures from memory. Having to refer to a notebook is not good enough. It’s your business — you should know it like the back of your hand.
If you don’t know an answer, a good way to seem confident in your reply is to say something along the lines of: “I’d rather be 100% certain of my answer to that, please allow me to confirm and get back to you with a follow up after the meeting.”
Listen
This is the best advice I can give you — for meetings and for dealing with people in general.
Listen, listen, listen.
And listen to understand what they are saying. Don’t listen so that you can respond.
One of the best ways to show someone you are listening is to follow up with an empathetic statement after they have finished speaking. Here is an example:
Example client: “What we’re battling with right now is not the lead volume coming in — that’s working great — it’s more the quality of the leads. We’re finding we have to do a lot of work to make sure the leads you’re sending us qualify.”
Me: “Okay got it, I understand that you’re battling with the lead quality — not volume — let’s work out a way to solve that issue for you. What I can suggest to start is x, y and z”
By empathizing with the person you’re interacting with, it shows that you’re on the same page as them and are listening to their problems.
The only way to truly grasp their problem is by properly listening to it being defined.
Einstein was known for saying that if he had just one hour to save the world from its impending fate, he would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and 5 solving it.
Learn From Someone
As with most things in life, it is much easier to learn from someone who has been there before than trying to feel everything out for yourself. I was lucky enough to be brought into the C-level-meeting-fold pretty early on in my job.
Our CEO was an excellent people’s person. He was able to analyze people, befriend them, and then extract what he needed from them successfully on most occasions.
In a few of my early introductory meetings where I’d just sit in and get a sense of how things were working in the business, I just observed him and instead of paying attention to what was happening in the room, I only noted what he was doing.
It was the best way for me to learn what worked and what didn’t. I’m convinced it was one of the reasons he included me in most of the meetings.
Be a Good Person
Everything boils down to this. It’s the basis for good relationships — business and personal.
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. — Anonymous
We gravitate towards things we like. If there is a direct correlation between what you say and what you do, and what you say is reasonable, you will likely have successful relationships.
Everyone wants to do business with good people.
Be a good person!