The Power In Gratitude
In a universe that seems to hurt for no reason, giving thanks feels dishonest.
It is easy to be grateful when you just tucked your kids into bed after a nice dinner with your family. And how easy is it to say thanks when all your bills are paid and you have no aches and pains? Check and check. Please, do not stop giving thanks for these things.
Try being grateful when your world seems to be crumbling around you.
When your loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has six months to live. When your car breaks down and the repair costs are astronomical. When you get laid off a week after you find out you are having a baby.
I didn’t embrace the practice of gratitude when I first heard of it. I felt it would blind me to the ugliness of the pain I was facing after abuse. I felt it would signify a passive acceptance and resignation to a situation I had not come to terms with.
In a universe that seemed to hurt for no reason, giving thanks felt deceitful. Living in a world where terror attacks, floods and starvation clouded my vision, it didn’t make sense. Years of seeing things as depressing and dangerous made it difficult to dive into the process wholeheartedly.
But, I needed a break from the constant feeling of despair and sadness. I needed a way to feel less hopeless when I wasn’t sure life was worth living.
So I chose to begin the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow, Melody Beattie.
Initially, I struggled to find three things to be grateful for. I had to push myself to think beyond a few surface-level platitudes and the obstacles which seemed to appear at each turn.
But, with each passing month, I was able to list more blessings with less strain and a diminishing sense of deceit. At the same time, giving thanks before bedtime enhanced the quality of my sleep helping me muster the fortitude to get through life’s challenges. Improved sleep helped me move forward in creating a life beyond the abuse.
But I didn’t just say thanks in the darkness before bedtime. I have made it a practice to send thank you notes to people I have met along the recovery journey. To the people whose presence in my life means I do not have to face all my troubles alone.
I wrote to my friends and family, thanking them for their time, support and presence. I wrote to my therapist thanking her for her guidance and care and for standing by me when I wanted to quit. I wrote to my prayer group, whose kind words of encouragement make the darkness dim each day. And I even wrote to the legal team who took up my case, thanking them for their diligence and hard work.
I am learning to accept the circumstances the way they were. That does not mean I feel they are fair, rather I have understood at a deep level there are things in this life I cannot control. The more I accept where I am, exactly as it is, the more peace I find.
Giving thanks each day makes truly tough times more bearable. And for that, I’m grateful.
For more resources on gratitude:
- A Simple Act of Gratitude by John Kralik.
- https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/gratitude-journal-three-good-things
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