The Perfect Valentine’s Day Tradition — What is Love to You? — Writing Competition

Taking off the pressure of a perfect Valentine’s Day

As I read through this month’s challenge, I glance up at my husband and ask for his input,

“Love, what would an ideal Valentine’s Day look like for you?”

His response was probably the most unromantic reply this lucky wife could receive,

“When I don’t have to feel pressured to make the day perfect.”

I wasn’t sure how to process this. At first the romantic in me was crushed. But the realist in me could empathize.

There is a lot of pressure for one partner to make this day special creating a lot of expectations for the other who, more often than not, ends up feeling disappointed.

So, thanks to this challenge, I found out the truth about how my husband really feels about this day. This inspired us to start a new Valentine’s Day tradition which will kick off on February 14th, 2022.

It entails a full day of indulging in our favorite restaurants.

What’s that saying?

“The way through a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

While this is true for my husband, it is also very accurate for me. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not the best cook. My husband is the chef in our household so trust me when I say, eating out is quite a treat for him (and for me), instead of settling for my mediocre cooking.

Breakfast: Classic Salmon Eggs Benny

First step: break the yolk ever so gently and watch as it oozes onto the bagel. Only then can you begin to perfectly layer the bagel, salmon, and egg onto your fork and add a hint of hollandaise sauce creating a perfect union of flavors.

Wherever I go, a salmon eggs benedict is my go-to breakfast food and it usually never disappoints. I enjoy the variation each restaurant offers, some with capers or some with waffles.

Our marriage is like the predictability of a salmon eggs benny. You can always expect to find this meal on a breakfast menu. The predictability in our relationship means we understand each other’s quirks, routines, and triggers. This offers a sense of safety and stability that allows me to keep my guard down and be my most authentic self with him.

Lunch: Sushi Platter

Our first Valentine’s date was at a sushi restaurant. If you ask my husband what food he could eat every day, sushi would be his answer. I don’t blame him, these one-bite delicacies are rich with culture and taste.

Each hand-crafted roll is so unique with its artistic details. A collection of ingredients such as avocado, mango, eel, nori, scallops, and crab — exquisite on its own, but extraordinary when arranged together.

Sushi is a perfect representation of our marriage. Just as each ingredient is great to eat on its own, my husband and I are strong and independent as individuals. However, when we come together, our teamwork and our chemistry make for an amazing partnership.

Dinner: Oysters

We usually scour the city for restaurants that offer a ‘Buck-a-Shuck.’ Paired with thick, creamy risotto, this is the best way to end our feast. Besides the fact that oysters are an aphrodisiac, which could be beneficial on this special occasion, they are also delicious.

Our favorite part is experimenting with the different toppings to pair the oysters with. My preferred garnish is lemon sriracha with salsa. Tobasco sauce is a close second, which is my husband’s favorite. But we make it a point to always try a new combination of flavors.

Like experimenting with different toppings, exploring new things as a couple has helped keep our marriage exciting. Activities such as art and pottery classes, sledding, ice skating, and snowboarding are all experiences we’ve tried together. Some we enjoy and would go back to and others were worth just a taste. But without venturing out of our comfort zone, we wouldn't discover things we would be interested in.

Dining out relieves the pressure off one partner to take full responsibility for the day. After all, Valentine’s is about love, which should come from both sides equally. As opposed to one person planning the entire day.

Another reason this tradition makes for a perfect Valentine’s Day is that it gives us a chance to sit down and reconnect. That’s why a lot of first dates are held in restaurants, you're forced to sit and converse without distraction.

Thanks to the magic of Pinterest, my husband and I never run out of things to talk about. We pull up questions to ask each other so we don’t have to constantly think about what to say. This can keep our conversation going from breakfast to dinner.

I write more about this in the article, One Simple Hack to Keep Your Marriage Strong.

Being married for many years with two kids, the romance is no longer in the flowers, chocolates, or cards. It is in our mundane routine. There is nothing more romantic to a mom than letting her sleep in until 9 am and having breakfast ready with the kids settled in for the day.

The romance is in our conversations — the gentleness in his words when he knows I’m having a rough day, the thoughtfulness in his questions when I need help with a project, and the playfulness in his compliments when he appreciates what I’m wearing.

Though my husband is always wonderful company, I’ve ‘met’ some captivating writers who would make for a great conversation. Their stories are heartfelt and entertaining, you’ll surely want to take them out to dinner — or at least take a peek at their page.

Min L, Megan Llorente, Sofia Chen, Heather Martin (@cadenzacreates), Lena Quinn