The Opinion Divide: Learning to Co-Exist Even With Differences
People’s dissensions do not equate to hate or spite
Identifying faults with others is what most of us delight in, especially when we are having a grudge with them or much worse, having disparate views on issues.
Growing up, I’ve realized that the childish cat-fights, along with the duels we engaged in were as a result of our own myopic outlook of the situation before us; our own lack of empathy and sympathy towards the other party; a missing perspective into the rationale behind their vehement, often unapologetic stance.
In these polarizing situations, we all often think of ourselves as right, and so hardly do we endeavor to find out why the other party might have such strong dissension. Why they present such strong sentimental retaliation and opposition.
Most often than not, we even find ourselves at the very extreme ends of completely dismissing them and their views; and much worse is, we start to feel altogether obnoxious and irritated by them.
I know and recall how many times it’s been when I’ve had the thought of “Hey, I’ve got to be diplomatic, considerate, and compromising on this situation”. But my hubris and ego always got me suppressing these pleasant and healthy thoughts of finding some kind of resolution. It has always been my need to be right in these types of fights, these contentious scuffles of opinions; and to win has always been my goal.
To be honest, it is extremely hard to lay aside one’s ego and pride to strive for a compromise, to have a sit down with the other party in an effort to hear them out and understand their viewpoint. It is unspeakably hard. I wouldn’t even pretend to have mastered it yet, this art of silent listening. And I wouldn’t be presumptuous enough to even imagine the far extreme of it, which is saying “I AM SORRY”. All this in an attempt to foster peace and uphold relations.
It is hard and difficult when we do not share the same opinions and views on issues, not agree completely on what is right and what is wrong. But I’ve learned and come to believe that we become more humane and more connected in our diversities and idiosyncrasies if we learn to accommodate and compromise. We all need to learn to perceive things also from the viewpoint of the other party in the dialogue. I believe perspective so much drives our personality, and so understanding a dissenter’s perspective on an issue, is a step closer to having a resolution on the issue.
I have also learned to use the powerful words of “I AM SORRY” and “I THINK YOU COULD BE RIGHT”. These are words that offer us as humans a platform to have a dialogue, a conversation devoid of ego and self-satisfaction. It stifles out of conversations any sense of competition or unhealthy rivalry.
Final Thoughts
- We will not all always agree on issues
- It’s okay to be passionate or opinionated on a topic, but remember to give room for others to express their dissension
- People’s dissensions do not equate to hate or spite — of who you are, or what you have. Dissenters are not your enemies or adversaries.
- Learning to use remarks such as “I AM SORRY” and “I THINK YOU COULD BE RIGHT” is a good place to start understanding the emotional, psychological, and logical reasoning behind people's dispositions and dissensions.
- We are all different, and that’s okay.
- Our exchanges with others should not be a zero-sum game.
- We should learn to accept others regardless of idiosyncrasies.
- I believe perspective so much drives our individual personalities.