The Most Important Change You Can Make In Your Life
A Life-Altering Commitment You Can Make Today
Where Happiness Lives Happiness lives in the now. You won’t find it by re-living the past or pre-living the future. You won’t find it in past regrets, or future worries.
In our busy world, you’d think demands on our time would anchor us in the present. Instead, the present has become an endangered species, increasingly lost to time spent inside our heads.
The World Inside Our Heads Inside our heads is an alternate universe where we can hang out and engage in self-absorption and inner dialogue. In it, we have a booth where we replay results, regrets, victories, or pre-screen future scenarios.
Last spring, I was hiking the High Lonesome Trail in the remote Rockies. The snow-capped mountains were shining, the sky a deep royal blue. I was following a trail that skirted brilliant patches of snow, winding through the translucent green of an aspen grove. I was following the trail but oblivious to its beauty. Why? A stray memory had burrowed into my thoughts. A business meeting had gone south quite unexpectedly, and now I was inside my head, replaying that meeting, re-living the past, rather than living the present.
Sorting out the past seems as though it might prove useful. Wouldn’t it be constructive to reconcile the past, put past events in the perspective that was lacking when they occurred?
Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works. Too often we become fixated on what might have been or what we should have done, and at that moment we are mining the past for regrets.
It’s ridiculous to hang onto a past we cannot change! But some past moments have been revisited so many times they become gravity wells that can suck us down, any time our thoughts wander too close. If you feel yourself close to a well, hit the ejector button. Escape to the present.
Pre-Living v. Living The future can be just as demanding as the past. Navigating the future is exhausting work. What if this happens? What will I do? Anticipating trouble can be a full-time job, even when we realize the trouble is unlikely to materialize.
Peter Matthiessen (The Snow Leopard) had been visiting the Crystal Monastery in remote, mountainous Tibet. Winter was closing in, the snow was deepening, and it was almost time to leave, or be snowed in. Instead of concentrating on the magnificence of his surroundings, making the most of the time left, he was thinking of the upcoming trek, and whether he should eat his last chocolate bar, or save it for the trek. As Matthiessen said, I was “forever getting-ready-for-life instead of living it each day.”
Return to the Present Returning to the present can be as simple as taking a deep breath and becoming conscious of the rhythm of breathing. Look around. Focus on what’s happening around you, the place, the faces, the activity. Look deep. Really see. Make a commitment to experience the present.
Learning to live in the present means enjoying all the stimuli our senses offer: the glory of today’s sunset, the golden-orange of the clouds, the scent of flowers, the stately elegance of trees, the blue of the sky, the silent majesty of the stars at night.
The past will always be there; the future will arrive without our help. Rejoin the present and determine to spend your life there. That’s where happiness lives and that’s the most important change we can make in our lives today.
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