The Most Fun (And Disgusting) New Year’s Tradition You Probably Don’t Know About

Every New Year a whole country collectively chokes on fruit.

— Phappy New Phear!!!

That’s the shout you’ll hear in every corner of Spain in the first seconds of January. It’s the sound of a Spaniard welcoming the new year.

It’s not our finest moment. I give you that.

But how would you say “Happy New Year” with 12 grapes in your mouth? I promise you this, elegance is secondary when you only focus on not choking.

Wait a minute. A whole country puts 12 grapes in their mouth and starts shouting? Yes. And the amazing part is that we never agree on almost anything. My country is polarized and divided AF. We spent decades in civil wars.

But we will all have our grapes at 12 sharp.

When a marketing campaign and a protest started a centenary tradition.

Nobody knows exactly how the tradition started, but it was around 1880. The French bourgeoisie welcomed the year with champagne and some grapes, and the Spanish high class joined the fashion.

Grape producers took advantage of it and promoted their fruits as “lucky grapes.”

The newspapers in Madrid were advertising expensive parties where the guests would drink champagne and eat lucky grapes. Private parties were the only option back then when street celebrations were forbidden.

There was only one exception. People could gather at the Puerta del Sol to receive the New Year with the chimes of its clock. It’s a magical spot with the mythical 0 Kilometer point: a plaque that marks the exact point where all the Spanish roads begin.

And some took advantage of it.

As a protest sign, some students and working-class citizens decided to celebrate their New Year like the rich. Superstition also played a role. Those grapes brought luck, after all. And who is luckier than the bourgeoisie? They went to the clock and ate 12 grapes—one per chime.

A tradition was born.

Madrid also received visitors from all around Spain, and the superstition spread like wildfire all across the country. Less than 10 years later, a whole nation was eating 12 grapes at 12 o’clock—one per chime.

The tradition today

We went mad. We can’t start the year without our grapes now. Puerta del Sol square gets packed with people. All national televisions focus their cameras on that clock. All houses with the TV on watching the same clock. There’s a countdown. Silence.

BONG! one grape for January. BONG! another for February. BONG! This goes for March. BONG! Luck for April. BONG! Fhis one phor May!. BONG! Phune izzz going to be amazzign.

*Things get serious now. Don’t break the concentration.*

BONG! Phuly fuff of offorpunifiez. BONG! *eyes watering* Luck foff Auguft!.

*Focus. Eyes stuck to the TV. Don’t look at your brother-in-law spitting the last grape. Don’t you dare look at your former-elegant-now-a-mess mum. Just focus.*

BONG! Phepfember! we are almoft pphere. BONG! Phifechanging Ophfober. BONG! *cough* Nophembeg, Nophembegg. BONG!

Phappy New Phear!!!

If you thought this was awkward. Now comes the best bit: We kiss each other.

Yes, a bunch of dribbling choking people leaking grape juice come and kiss you. You want to believe that you look good in the middle of that disgraceful spectacle, but a glance on any glass surface will abruptly bring you down to reality.

There’s no way of doing this elegantly. Only time and practice over the years help us master the technique.

We are so evil that we make fun of anyone peeling their grapes or getting the seeds out beforehand. Cheater! No luck for you in the next year! The only exception is children and older people.

The big night is coming.

I don’t want to write a speech about goals achieved or New Year’s resolutions. Nothing against them. Reflecting on our progress is the first step of self-awareness.

But we have the whole year for self-evaluation and seriousness, haven’t we?

I just want to wish you all a wonderful party. To enjoy this “blank paper” feeling that we all have when we start something new. To celebrate the end of a challenging year and get drunk on hope, joy, and happiness.

I hope you feel alive and happy to be here, just for that night.

Tomorrow there will be time to start new challenges. Time to pursue the person we want to be.

But for today, celebrate life.

Wherever you are in the world on New year’s eve, look around you. Try to spot someone staring at the central clock in a big square with a little bag/cardboard glass/tin in their hands. There’s a 90% probability that they will be traveling Spaniards. I went with my grapes once to Trafalgar square, and it took me less than 5 minutes to join a group of them.

Be careful. This tradition is even more contagious than a virus. Once you try, it sticks with you forever.

And now, with my mouth grape-free, allow me to wish all Medium readers, writers, creators, visitors, editors, and publications (yes, even those who rejected me, you know who you are) a marvelous Happy New Year.

Cheers to a great 2023 full of incredible stories!

PS. If you are curious to know how gambling marks the beginning and the end of our 2 weeks long Christmas season, be my guest:

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