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Abstract

ook sad and desperate. No thanks.</p><h2 id="dd35">The Jokester</h2><p id="3078">Most people will not take you seriously if you meme-ify your entire dating profile. It’s ok to show your sense of humor — but there should be an element of reality here. We have seconds to get to know you as a person enough to see if we might swipe right. Show us your funny side, but also show us some things we need to know about you.</p><h2 id="f38e">The Beefcake</h2><p id="257c">This is probably the bulk — no pun intended — of the left-swipes for me.</p><p id="546c">Yes, we are proud of you for all that hard work at the gym. But your 15+ flexing pictures make you look like all beef and no flavor. We want to see a little more than your workout obsession. Do you have a personality? We need more than your muscly selfies and heavy-lifting grunts to know who you are as a person.</p><p id="8c73">Most women will want a little depth. Make your profile a little more well-rounded — again, no pun intended — and we will be more likely to think there may be some good conversations with you to be had.</p><h2 id="9566">The Blank Stare</h2><p id="93f1">For those of you fellas who can’t take 5 minutes to fill out the profile, all we get is a blank page; the <i>blank stare</i> I like to call it. Seriously, who are you? Without your likes, interests, and a little blurb about yourself, we have literally nothing to go on but your face.</p><p id="3be2">Do you trust that your face is all you need to score a date with a lady of interest? You are either narcissistic or lazy or have no time to even fill out the profile. None of this shouts “I need a new woman in my life.”</p><p id="1ba3">Without any substance, it’s a left-swipe for me. Yes, even if you’re cute.</p><h2 id="1cf9">The Bad Apple</h2><p id="a00b">Guys, if you are a felon, we don’t want to find out on the 5th date. Really, we don’t. The <i>bad apple </i>is a term I use for a wide variety of men’s dating profiles that give me <i>red flags</i> right off the bat:</p><ul><li>You are incredibly egotistical in your profile and make lots of demands about what is and is not “ok” with you in a partner.</li><li>You demean or talk negatively about women in your profile.</li><li>You cuss a lot or act bawdy, offensive, or mean in your profile.</li><li>You call out your ex and use your dating profile to shame them.</li><li>You have prison tattoos and appear to be taking your pictures from a fenced-in yard or are wearing a suspicious jumpsuit. Yes, some women go for the hard-edged prison types, but not me.</li><li>And the most common I see in this category — those with a really BAD attitude. You are angry, miserable, and appear to hate your life very much. I don’t want to be around that negativity.</li><li>One other common one — lying. Just be honest, even if it’s not pretty. We’d rather have an ugly truth than a polished and well-fabricated lie.</li></ul><h1 id="cf98">Your dating profile p

Options

ics</h1><p id="dd5f">Now, let’s talk about the pictures — what works for us women and what does not. There’s <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/202008/how-give-yourself-the-edge-in-your-dating-profile-picture">a whole lot of psychology</a> behind the success, or lack thereof, of dating profiles. If you find you fall into one of the categories above, and it doesn’t suit you or adequately represent who you are, then let’s tackle what you need to do.</p><h2 id="4414">What works in a dating profile picture</h2><ul><li>Use current photos that represent your look, build, height, etc.</li><li>Smile.</li><li>Make sure the pictures are clear.</li><li>Use at least 3 photos.</li></ul><p id="61e9">Also, use a variety of photos. These are the ones I find most useful and appealing:</p><ul><li>Photo of you, alone, a front view so we get a clear picture of what you look like. Don’t zoom all the way in on your face.</li><li>Photo of your social life, what that looks like. Family outings or camping with friends? We want to see how you do you out in the world with other people.</li><li>If you include a pic of you in your home, stage the scene a little. (Meaning, clean the area and make sure there’s good lighting.) We will notice the dirty underpants on the floor behind you and the crusty smudges on your bedroom mirror. Yuk.</li><li>Pictures of you doing things you enjoy. Hiking? Climbing? Reading a book or visiting a huge library? Playing guitar? Traveling? Show us what you love.</li><li>Pictures that reflect what you do for a living can be helpful. If you spend all day in a shirt and tie — include a pic of you in a shirt and tie. If you are a contractor, show a pic of you hard at work. These things are important because it shows us what you do each day and what your work life looks like.</li><li>Yes, it’s ok to include a pic that shows off your bod — and this is easily done with a recent beach pic or something. You don’t need a pic of you in your underwear for this. Or those creepy in-bed selfies of your torso and lowered waistband of underwear — yikes, just, NO. We can see if we are attracted to your physique with one picture of your basic shape. Anything else could be shared privately as you talk more with a potential date — if they ask.</li></ul><p id="deea">Now, the profile description and bio are a matter for another day. Because there’s a whole lot to unpack there. Follow the author of this article so you won’t miss it.</p><p id="c1aa"><i>This light-hearted article has been about your basic presentation on your dating profile and what immediately scares off us ladies. Hopefully, you’ve found it helpful. Need more info? — Check out <a href="https://readmedium.com/10-perfectly-acceptable-reasons-to-swipe-left-68b3cf44d8e7">10 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons to Swipe Left</a>.</i></p><p id="13dd">Be safe out there and remember to treat each other with kindness!</p></article></body>

Relationships

The Most Annoying Men’s Dating Profiles

These are ‘hard no’ situations for many ladies out there in the dating world — and men, you should know.

Swipe left or swipe, right? If you’re in the dating pool, you get it. You’ve got the awkward conversations, the hard and quick decisions, and well…that dating pool can be a bit hard on the eyes. Guys — some of your profiles are, well, awful.

If you’re guilty of these, you may be getting a whole lot of left-swiping and honestly, griping from the ladies. Not what you want? Take note fellas, because these are your biggest dating profile mishaps. You have mere seconds to impress the ladies — and these aren’t doing it.

A little support from the ladies on this? Highlight your hard left swipe situations below.

The Creeper

Ugh, this guy. Shady pictures — in low lighting, silhouettes only, or simply fake pictures all around. Yes, we can tell.

The Creeper is that guy who wants to hide his identity on dating websites. “Ask for more pics” is simply a trick to get your like and to reel you into a conversation. Guys — if you’re that embarrassed about using a dating app, or if you have that much to hide, just delete your accounts. Don’t be a creeper. We ladies deal with enough creepers out in the real world every day. We are nervous enough about getting roped and thrown into your trunk on the first date — without you being all mysteriously weird.

Hard pass. Left swipe.

The Horny-Toad

One word here — gross. Guys, no female with a pulse and half a sense of dignity will want to see pictures of your penis on a dating site. We will report you before swiping left.

Sure, you can use dating sites for hooking up, but I’d caution you on these activities. What kinds of women will swipe right and take you up on this? I guess it’s ok if that is what you are looking for — but if you want something real, you’re going to have to elevate your behavior.

Besides, the horny toad profile just makes you look sad and desperate. No thanks.

The Jokester

Most people will not take you seriously if you meme-ify your entire dating profile. It’s ok to show your sense of humor — but there should be an element of reality here. We have seconds to get to know you as a person enough to see if we might swipe right. Show us your funny side, but also show us some things we need to know about you.

The Beefcake

This is probably the bulk — no pun intended — of the left-swipes for me.

Yes, we are proud of you for all that hard work at the gym. But your 15+ flexing pictures make you look like all beef and no flavor. We want to see a little more than your workout obsession. Do you have a personality? We need more than your muscly selfies and heavy-lifting grunts to know who you are as a person.

Most women will want a little depth. Make your profile a little more well-rounded — again, no pun intended — and we will be more likely to think there may be some good conversations with you to be had.

The Blank Stare

For those of you fellas who can’t take 5 minutes to fill out the profile, all we get is a blank page; the blank stare I like to call it. Seriously, who are you? Without your likes, interests, and a little blurb about yourself, we have literally nothing to go on but your face.

Do you trust that your face is all you need to score a date with a lady of interest? You are either narcissistic or lazy or have no time to even fill out the profile. None of this shouts “I need a new woman in my life.”

Without any substance, it’s a left-swipe for me. Yes, even if you’re cute.

The Bad Apple

Guys, if you are a felon, we don’t want to find out on the 5th date. Really, we don’t. The bad apple is a term I use for a wide variety of men’s dating profiles that give me red flags right off the bat:

You are incredibly egotistical in your profile and make lots of demands about what is and is not “ok” with you in a partner.
You demean or talk negatively about women in your profile.
You cuss a lot or act bawdy, offensive, or mean in your profile.
You call out your ex and use your dating profile to shame them.
You have prison tattoos and appear to be taking your pictures from a fenced-in yard or are wearing a suspicious jumpsuit. Yes, some women go for the hard-edged prison types, but not me.
And the most common I see in this category — those with a really BAD attitude. You are angry, miserable, and appear to hate your life very much. I don’t want to be around that negativity.
One other common one — lying. Just be honest, even if it’s not pretty. We’d rather have an ugly truth than a polished and well-fabricated lie.

Your dating profile pics

Now, let’s talk about the pictures — what works for us women and what does not. There’s a whole lot of psychology behind the success, or lack thereof, of dating profiles. If you find you fall into one of the categories above, and it doesn’t suit you or adequately represent who you are, then let’s tackle what you need to do.

What works in a dating profile picture

Use current photos that represent your look, build, height, etc.
Smile.
Make sure the pictures are clear.
Use at least 3 photos.

Also, use a variety of photos. These are the ones I find most useful and appealing:

Photo of you, alone, a front view so we get a clear picture of what you look like. Don’t zoom all the way in on your face.
Photo of your social life, what that looks like. Family outings or camping with friends? We want to see how you do you out in the world with other people.
If you include a pic of you in your home, stage the scene a little. (Meaning, clean the area and make sure there’s good lighting.) We will notice the dirty underpants on the floor behind you and the crusty smudges on your bedroom mirror. Yuk.
Pictures of you doing things you enjoy. Hiking? Climbing? Reading a book or visiting a huge library? Playing guitar? Traveling? Show us what you love.
Pictures that reflect what you do for a living can be helpful. If you spend all day in a shirt and tie — include a pic of you in a shirt and tie. If you are a contractor, show a pic of you hard at work. These things are important because it shows us what you do each day and what your work life looks like.
Yes, it’s ok to include a pic that shows off your bod — and this is easily done with a recent beach pic or something. You don’t need a pic of you in your underwear for this. Or those creepy in-bed selfies of your torso and lowered waistband of underwear — yikes, just, NO. We can see if we are attracted to your physique with one picture of your basic shape. Anything else could be shared privately as you talk more with a potential date — if they ask.

Now, the profile description and bio are a matter for another day. Because there’s a whole lot to unpack there. Follow the author of this article so you won’t miss it.

This light-hearted article has been about your basic presentation on your dating profile and what immediately scares off us ladies. Hopefully, you’ve found it helpful. Need more info? — Check out 10 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons to Swipe Left.

Be safe out there and remember to treat each other with kindness!