10 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons to Swipe Left
Without even pausing to feel guilty about it.
Swipe left or swipe right — that is the question. Shakespeare had no idea that in the year of our Lord 2021…swiping would be the ultimate thrill-seeking adventure we’d all love to hate. It’s halfway between having the empowering “finger of God” feeling and a roaring sense of self-loathing for even lowering ourselves to such an activity. But alas, we, as humans, kinda like hanging out with other humans that tickle our fancy.
But guys guys guys guys guys…..we gotta talk about your profile pictures. And ladies — take note. Because some of those hella-instant left swipes are your best gut feelings and however cruel it seems to not even give a guy a chance, having the instant *ICK* is kind of a big clue. Red flags ahead, exit left NOW.
I’m realizing now about 2 weeks into the dating app game (I’m now an expert in Swiping 101) that there are some really ‘hard no’s for me — and I am not apologizing one bit. Neither should you. It’s your choice. Right or left. YOUR choice. No reason to explain. Here are my TOP TEN reasons to swipe left — AKA reasons to close out the app, run a hot bath, grab a book and a glass of wine, and decide that dating yourself would be so much easier and likely more satisfying.
I give you permission — all of you brave singles (or couples or whatever) out there on the dating sites…to swipe left for any of the following — and yeah, guilt-free! Just do it and move on!
1. — You are not attracted to them
Attraction is often instant and unchangeable. Sure, you can grow in attraction, but if their profile pics don’t give you any kind of pleasure whatsoever, just swipe left and move on.
2. — The profile seems fake
There are a whole lot of fake accounts on these dating sites. The pictures look like they all were commandeered from free pic sites and there’s no way that demi-god of a man exists. You just know — it’s fake. Immediate left-swipe.
3. — The person lives too far away
This one may not bother you but in reality…how far do you really want to drive for a date night? For me, if they live too far away I just consider it too inconvenient. Decide how far you really want to travel and it limits your right swipes, but this is your life. You get to live it how you want.
4. — The person’s age is a big NOPE
Maybe age is just a number but for me, I don’t want to date some guy who is closer to my children’s age than my own, or closer to my father’s age than my own. Age does matter to some degree so swipe left on your hard nope’s.
5. — Their bio is a field of RED FLAGS
Other than lack of attraction, this one gets the most left swipes. Your red flags may differ a bit from mine but you can trust your instincts on this. I look for signs of narcissism, drug use, negative talk to or about women, an undercurrent of anger, or signs that they are only out to get laid. Hard left swipe, no pun intended. (Also, Trumpers are ushered immediately off my screen.)
6. — Conflicts of goals
It’s fairly important that you both are looking for the same thing. Do you both think one day of having more children? Are you out for marriage and they are out for a flavor of the week? Goals and where you are in life matter. If these goals don’t have an area of compromise — it’s ok to move on to others that you are more compatible with.
7. — Clash of interests
This one is a little harder to describe. Yes, opposites can attract, but for some topics, you won’t want to compromise. A good example is this — I really detest those wrestling shows like WWE and whatever else they call them. If I see a bio with some dude who’s dressing in wrestling cosplay, has wrestling posters all over his bedroom, and says his favorite celeb is Rick Flair — then I’m OUT. Nope. Can’t deal with all that. Another example is that I am an environmentalist. Likely I wouldn’t want to date an “oil and gas” kind of guy. It’s ok to say no to those people who are totally into things you don’t want to be around.
8. —Education level or career
As a college-educated woman with my own business, it kind of makes no sense for me to date a high school dropout who is living with grandma and doesn’t care one bit about working. I want someone career-minded and able to carry on the intelligent conversation I need. I look for school background, what they do for a living, and they must not have a bunch of misspellings and terrible grammar in their bio. I could not deal with all that. Your partner should bring something to the table and the more evenly you are matched with regards to intelligence and career goals — the better.
9. — You’ve seen multiple accounts for the same person
Yeah, nope. Not sure why people do this…but it’s weird.
10. — Offensive material
If they offend you with their bio content — they’ll offend you in real life. NEXT. (If the third pic in their bio is a picture on their erect….uh, NOPE sir. Goodbye.)
Until we get new options other than swiping left and right (and those “super like” things)…options like:
- I have no idea
- This person looks nice but I don’t know…
- Maybe?
- And…can I decide on this one later? Talk first, then swipe?
Until that glorious day…we have to make a choice. We get a couple of pics and if we’re lucky, a well-developed profile bio to consider and help us make that choice.
An instant choice and sometimes that’s hard to do. It feels judgy. It feels absolute. Permanent. And what if that person was a really awesome person and you just sent them to stage left? It’s ok. You just have to believe that all things work together to bring the right people together. If you don’t think positively in that way, you might just lose yourself in the whole dating search.
Stay true to yourself. Keep your standards. Don’t apologize. This is not the time to settle. Let the compromising begin later after you’ve swiped right and hit dating gold. And for me…I have to believe that exists.
Perhaps I won’t feel so positive after I’ve been in the dating game for a while. The past few weeks have been eye-opening for sure. OMG, the article ideas I have brewing already (Highlight the ones of interest or leave a note for what you want to see):
- Dating Games…Tales from the Weird
- The Super Decoder for Understanding Dating Profile Lingo
- The Top 10 Scary Things That Happened This Week on Tinder
- Dating Do’s and Don’t’s for Those Beefcake Selfie Dudes
- How Not to Get Killed on the First Date
- How to Snoop Your Date Before You Go
- Setting Up Your Dating Profile to Get What You Want
Stick around. This should be fun.