The Modern Trend of Abusing People in Age Gap Relationships Needs to End
The cruel trend of abusing those in age gap relationships is the opposite of a progressive society
For the entirety of human history, it has always made sense for an age gap in favour of men of about 5 to 10 years, and for couples to get together as young as possible. This is why a recent study found that over the entire history of homo sapiens, men have been on average 8 years older than women when starting parenthood, it is also why most women historically were married by 15 at the latest and most men by 25.
The survival of the human race relied upon this status quo, the child mortality rate was so high women needed to start getting pregnant as young as possible, and men, to be able to protect and provide for women and children, needed to first learn how to do that and build up resources. That took time. Hence, the historical age gap in men’s favour.
Everything about our evolution has mimicked this reality, this is why girls mature so much faster than boys, it is why they go through puberty sooner and why puberty lasts a shorter length of time, it is why they go through fire and wire (a form of brain optimisation) between the ages 10 and 12 whereas boys don’t until 15 to 20.
It is even argued by some that this is why women are maturing even faster these days, but men are maturing even slower, if we women wish to have a family and a career, we have a far greater need to mature ASAP i.e. it’s hard to build a career and a relationship all before you are 30. Men on the other hand have more time than ever to get both.
I know, it seems even when women win somehow men win bigger. What many women would give — myself included — to be able to easily have children into our late 30s and even 40s. But we are lucky to be able to have what we now have, and beggars can’t be choosers.
Except we can now be choosers to a much higher level than we could historically be. We now can choose not to have to get with people the moment we reach pregnancy age, we also can choose to get with whoever the hell we want.
So can men. This is because we have not had a female revolution on the dating scene — like it is often said we have — we have had a societal revolution. Men and women have equally gained the freedom to date whomever the hell they want.
Except, increasingly it is not feeling like that, increasingly, society is starting to dictate more and more to people over who they are “allowed” to date. People are told they must date a person of the right educational background, the right cultural background, the right ethnicity, the right weight, the right earning level, the right this, the right that, the right everything.
One area we are especially being dictated to right now is age. Even age gaps in men’s favour are now persecuted, and hell, if an older woman dates a younger man, it is still tantamount to sacrilege. Yet it shouldn’t be, there’s no logical reason for it to be.
That’s why it needs to stop, we need to stop persecuting age-gap relationships and in this post, I’m going to prove why by exposing the discriminatory reasoning behind why age-gap relationships are being persecuted.
Why a subset of people have become hellbent on discriminating against age-gap couples — to the detriment of everyone
Unless you are with somebody who is near enough the exact same age as you, a subset of society will be hellbent on attacking your relationship. It is my view that there are five fundamental reasons why this wrongful and highly discriminatory and self-defeating practice has become so widespread.
Reason number one — people are refusing to let go of the past
As crazy as it may seem, an older woman with a younger man has for the entirety of our history up until recent times posed a threat to the existence of the human race. Reread that sentence if you have to, I’m not making it up. That is a legitimately true statement. The reason, an older woman with a younger man will have far fewer pregnancies than if that man got with a younger woman. In a world with a crazy high child mortality rate — which up until recently the human race had — that poses a threat to survival, especially if it becomes common.
This is why historically we have cracked down so hard on older women with younger men. It is also why we used to crack down so hard on homosexuality and a lot of other things. Anything that stopped the dynamic of a man, the moment he was capable of providing, getting with a girl, the moment she was capable of bearing children, used to be venomously attacked due to how legitimately threatening it once was to human survival.
The thing is though, we no longer live in this world which is why just as it is foolish and wrong to persecute same-sex couples for their choices, it is foolish and wrong to still persecute and attack couples who have such age gaps in the woman’s favour. Such relationships are not a threat to human survival anymore, and the only reason we still persecute them is for the same reason many still persecute homosexuality, too many people have still not let go of the old world which is dead and gone.
That means one of the reasons people attack age-gap relationships — especially where the woman is older — is because there are still a lot of dinosaurs in this world.
Reason number two — many people persecute age-gap relationships because they wrongly link child abuse to age gaps
When an adult preys on a child, inevitably that adult is older than the child. This had led many to associate age gaps with this type of abuse. However, this type of association is absolute nonsense.
Those who prey on children don’t care about an age gap, they just care that their prey are children, and hell, many such predators preyed on children when they were children and simply carried over the behaviour into adulthood.
None of this has any link to age gap relationships between adults. Adults dating adults will never be bad and will never have anything to do with child abuse. If all adults dated adults, we would have no problem with child abuse — at least not the adult as the predator form of it.
That means another reason why many are persecuting age-gap relationships is that they have wrongly associated age gaps with child abuse and as such are persecuting innocent people rather than the people they should be persecuting, child abusers.
Reason number three — dating apps are making people obsess over age by putting age right in front of people’s faces
In the old world of dating, we had to meet people in real life and when we meet people in real life, we don’t know their age. This induced us to focus on the person not the age, then dating apps came along and suddenly age became all the rage. This is because inevitably dating apps show us people’s ages, not just that, they ask us to set age ranges and we have to work out what age range to set.
The challenges of working out what range to set, and the moneymaking potential of people selling people the answer, is a big reason why we have become so age obsessed.
That means another reason we have become so age obsessed is that dating apps put age right in front of our faces as facto numero one when selecting a partner, and content creators are looking to make money off the back of the fact that dating apps have done that.
Reason four — online dating gurus and social commentators want to make money
It is common to call older women who date younger men cougars, it is common to call them grave snatchers; it is common to call the younger men they date toy boys, and to imply the younger man is either after their money or has mummy issues.
It is even more common to call older men who date people younger than them perverts, paedophiles, and a lot worse, it is also common to imply that the younger women they date are golddiggers or people who have daddy issues.
This is all a load of absolute rubbish. In terms of who sells this vile rubbish, online dating gurus and social commentators. In terms of why they sell this bitter hateful content, likely because they know that men who are pissed off that they have been dumped by their partner for either an older or younger guy will buy into it, just as they know that women who are pissed off that they have been dumped for a younger or older woman will do the same.
That means one of the biggest reasons for the obsession with persecuting age gap relationships is that many people have realised that doing so is a great way of making money i.e. giving people who have been scorned a reason to hate is a very good moneymaking practice.
Reason five — intrapersonal rivalry
In my worst nightmares, my partner — despite him being 14 years older than me — runs away with a younger woman. How many older women have the same fear? Not just older women, how many older men are increasingly afraid that their wife will leave them for a younger man?
Not just that, how many single older women are afraid that they are not attractive to men because men will be focused on younger women, and how many single older men are afraid that they will not be attractive to women because women will be focused on younger men?
It is not just older people who have fears like this, how many young women are afraid that their boyfriend will leave them for an older woman? How many young men are afraid that their girlfriend will leave them for an older man?
Also, how many single young women are afraid that they will not be attractive to men because men will be focused on older women? How many single young men are afraid that they will not be attractive to women because women will be focused on older men?
I could continue listing more of these scenarios but I’m sure you get the point. A great paradox of our obsession with age is that many young people have deified older people and many older people have deified younger people.
When you add such thought processes to the dating scene and the intrapersonal rivalries that come with dating, what you get is subgroups of young people permanently feeling threatened by the idea that older people will always be more attractive than them, and subgroups of older people permanently feeling threatened by the idea that younger people will always be more attractive than them.
As such, a big reason that a subset of people persecutes age-gap relationships is that many young people are threatened by the idea that older people are more attractive than them, and many older people are threatened by the idea that younger people are more attractive than them. Social commentators then prey on these fears by selling rubbish that gives said insecure people an excuse to attack age-gap relationships, which they do in the hopes that it will make people want to date them and not others.
That means a big reason many people persecute age-gap relationships is in an effort to try to make themselves appear more attractive to the people they wish to date.
Final words
The main reason it has become popular to attack age gaps is because of the desire of dating apps, dating gurus and content creators to make money. Add this to intrapersonal rivalry and you get the ridiculous nature of the modern obsession with age.
An obsession is ridiculous.
Here is the final proof of why. Studies typically show that 8 percent of heterosexual couples have an age gap of 10 years or more, and 1 percent have an age gap of 28 years or more. However, if you head into the LGBTQ world, 25 percent of male-male unions have an age gap of 10 years or more and 15 percent of female-female unions do.
Here is the amazing thing, the LGBTQ scene overall has a much lower breakup rate than couples in the heterosexual scene — especially the same-sex male scene.
This has got nothing to do with the fact that there are more age-gap couples. This has to do with the fact that on the same-sex scene people have had to overcome so much persecution just to date a person of the same sex, that other factors like age, education, and all this other stuff that the heterosexual scene have become obsessed with, just cease to matter.
That means the reason we need to stop obsessing over age and persecuting those in age-gap relationships is not just because it is wrong on every level, it is not just because we need to stop greedy people trying to make money off us by selling us self-defeating idiocy, it is because by ceasing to buy into this discriminative narrative, we end up regaining the ability to focus on what matters, which in the world of adults, is not the age of our partner, but who they are and whether we connect with who they are.
If that’s not a reason to fight back against age gap discrimination, I don’t know what is. Because the reward is, once we start focusing on people again, rather than endless irrelevant factors, people will once again start having a better chance of finding a person they connect with.
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