How To Tame Your Inner Critic And Finally Get On With Writing
Do the work and let the world decide. You’ll improve if you never stop going.
I’ve loved great writings from as early as I could remember and I’ve always wanted to be a writer. But it took a mighty long time before I could confidently start writing.
I just couldn’t get my words on the page. Doing so is easier now. I do much better putting myself in the right state and the right mindset to get the words flowing.
But if you could attend my writing sessions on the cusp of this breakthrough, you might laugh a little — or maybe a lot.
As I get down to write, you might hear me blurt out “leave me alone! Not time yet!”
No, I wasn’t shouting at my brother or wife or my handsome little boy. No.
I was actively shushing the voice in my head — the inner critic — that would not stop judging every sentence as soon as they arrive on the page.
No sooner had a sentence made its way out, than this inner critic step on stage whispering “umm…that’s not well constructed. That doesn’t sound like good writing. So and so can say it better. That’s why they are a writer and you’re not!”
In those days of struggle, I often listen. I become discouraged. I let loose the backspace on the two paragraphs, 5 sentences and 41 words that I’ve just managed to get on page and send them into extinction.
I did that a lot. Little surprise then that I couldn’t get anything written let alone published.
I was committing one of the biggest sins of any creative endeavor:
Creating And Judging At The Same Time.
If there’s a bigger handicap to creativity, then I don’t know it.
What I know, first hand, is that nothing cripples creativity like trying to create and judge at the same time.
Whether it’s writing, painting, designing, acting, dancing, giving a speech etc, creating becomes a huge struggle when you try to create and judge at the same time.
Judging your writing rather than letting the word flow. Judging your speech as the words roll off your tongue on stage. Judging your steps as you try to dance.
Trying to create and judge simultaneously rather than one after the other is the reason for our many creative struggles. The driving equivalent is stepping on the accelerator and the brake at the same time.
You’ll go nowhere.
That’s what I was doing. So I was going round in circles.
- I ignored the fact that I can write first and revise later.
- I ignored the fact that I can get the words on the page first, then edit the brilliance into it,…later.
- I ignored that the fact that the brilliant writings I adore didn’t start out brilliant. They started out as shitty first drafts.
We Fear Rejection
The truth is, as creatives, we often fear rejection. Writers fear crickets. We dread the world will respond with 15 views, 3 reads and 1 clap, after we might have poured our hearts on the page.
So, what do we do? We self-reject.
Self-rejection doesn’t allow us to put our creation out into the world. We figure out that the world can’t judge if we don’t give them something to judge.
We start to judge our creation before we give ourselves the chance to begin, to practice and get good.
Yes, rejection is painful but it’s a risk we must take — and one worth taking. Because every rejection stings less than the previous one. And when you get used to putting your creation out there, and taking the feedback — good or bad — and relentlessly trying to improve, you can only get better.
We like to worship our creative heroes. But the fact is that the master has faced more rejection than the beginner has even tried. Anne Lamott afforded us a peer into what’s behind the curtains of great writings and showed that every spell-binding prose was preceded by a shitty first draft.
“(…) Shitty first drafts. All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.
…But this is just the fantasy of the uninitiated. I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts.
If you don’t allow yourself to start. If you can’t bear to be dreadful at the start, tell me, how do you improve?
Stop The Self-Reject
Here was the key I found. It changed me:
Do the work. Stop self-rejecting. Put your creation out there — the good, the bad, the ugly. You’ll learn over time. You’ll improve. If you’re determined, and keep at it, taking every useful feedback, constantly experimenting, you’ll get good, you’ll produce more good than bad.
Your job as a creator is to — you guessed it — create. And create you must.
Do the work. Put your creation out there. Stop self-rejecting.
Your job is to do the work and let the world decide if it approves.
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