The Lost Year: How to Deal With Pandemic Depression

Tips for keeping up your mental health after a year of lockdown.

I have been writing about mental health since 2019, when I opened up a Google Form with the open-ended question of “I have bipolar, ask me anything.” The questions and subsequent answers led me to start writing in a forum that would be visible to many more than just my limited friend group.

I’ve published a lot of articles about depression, suicide, anxiety, and self-care, among other things. Many people have been helped by those articles, based on the reactions I’ve received. A lot of the people who read my articles already deal with mental illnesses, and as such, they had some idea of what I was talking about.

Then a funny thing happened: a global pandemic forced everyone inside.

As we endured our first week of lockdown, then our first month, then three months, people began panicking. Anxiety and depression began skyrocketing. I work at a behavioral health nonprofit that has a crisis hotline, and our calls shot up 300% in April of 2020.

On top of the pandemic, we had a contentious election cycle going on, where for many of us, the future of the country hung in the balance. Between the premise that leaving the house could kill you and the notion that America might not survive the year, the collective mental health of America took a nosedive.

My mental health suffered as well. I stopped doing as much writing as I usually did, and many things that brought me joy in the past weren’t helping. I eventually recovered through a combination of new meds and new hobbies, and I started writing more.

Along my recovery process, I noticed an interesting thing about the stories I’d published. Several of them, including stories published over a year ago, were suddenly getting traction. This article about ways to cope if you’re feeling depressed has seen a steady increase in traffic since July of 2020. This one about what it feels like to be suicidal has received similar traffic increases since mid-June of 2020.

This is in addition to the major news headlines over the past year talking about mental health and a surge in depression and anxiety (even though the actual rate of diagnosable mental illness might not be increasing that much yet). Suddenly, with everyone cooped up away from everything and everyone, with an invisible killer on the loose, we’re all concerned with mental health.

This is a good thing, ultimately, even though it was spawned from a catastrophe. Mental illness has always had a stigma, and reducing that stigma is helpful to everyone in the long run. The downside of this is that people who had never considered their mental health in a conscious way now must grapple with how to deal with depression and anxiety and how to do self-care. So, they do what anyone in the 21st century does: they turn to the internet.

So, I’d like to give some advice on how to cope with your anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues that you may have never had to deal with up to this point. As someone who has lived with mental illness since the age of 12, I offer up my nearly 23 years of expertise in surviving depression and anxiety. As a disclaimer, I am not a clinician, and this advice comes from personal experience only. As with any personal advice, your mileage may vary. That said, I try to back up my advice with research where possible.

Self-care: the art of taking care of your mind and body

Self-care is a big buzzword these days, and for good reason. We all need self-care to survive in the modern world. But for those of you who don’t know what self-care is or how to do it, here’s a primer.

The World Health Organization defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” In short, self-care is what you do to take care of your mental, physical, and emotional health, making self-care a total package in many ways.

Simply put, find things that nourish yourself and do them. Do you gain energy by reading books? Build out your reading list and make time to read more. Do you like video games? Make time to play your favorites.

Many people are recharged by socializing, and that is something we can’t do much of right now. That said, there are alternatives. Set up weekly Zoom calls with friends. Arrange socially distanced picnics. Call your grandma to check up on her.

Combine your hobbies with socialization. Get together with friends and play Among Us. Start a book club. Get an exercise buddy and hold each other accountable. Plan events for after lockdown. My wife is working on some Victorian-era clothing for a winter romp at the end of the year with friends. They won’t actually get together until after lockdown is lifted, but she’s got a group chat where they’re discussing the stuff they’re making and giving each other encouragement.

Don’t forget that self-care also includes taking care of your body. Studies have shown that eating well and exercising are a big part of self-care, as good nutrition and movement both help contribute to a better mood. Getting some sunshine is also helpful — particularly in the winter months. Mental health also includes our emotional and social wellbeing. Find someone you can talk to and confide in. If you have a friend who you trust, you can talk with them for support.

Splurge if you need to — but don’t go overboard

All of that is well and good, but sometimes, life is just too hard. You don’t have the energy to cook a healthy meal, or go for a jog, or do all that other good stuff to feel better. That’s okay.

Part of self-care is knowing when to take a break. Take a Saturday and do something selfish. Lay in bed all day looking at your phone (try not to doom-scroll, though). Get that takeout you love without worrying about calories. Have a pint — whether that’s beer or ice cream. Binge-watch your favorite show for the tenth time.

All of these things are incredibly comforting and can help give your mental health a boost in the short term. However, be careful to avoid falling into these habits all the time. Having takeout twice a week won’t kill you. Having takeout twice a week for four months straight might be detrimental to your mental health since you might start to feel like a slob. Remember, eating nutritious food can help your mental health in the long run.

Ultimately, there is no shame in taking a day or week to yourself to do something decadent. Just be careful to not fall into bad habits.

Build a network of people you can lean on

Humans are social animals, and none of us exists in a vacuum. Part of what makes us successful as a species is our ability to build networks. Social connections are such a large part of what makes us human that social connections are deeply tied to our health, including our mental health. Use that to your advantage.

Find people you can rely on for support. Have a couple of friends you can call to vent. Figure out if there are things you can trade with people in your network to support each other — trade cooking for tax help, for example. Everyone has their own set of skills and knowing who to call when you can’t do something yourself can help you cope better.

Social networks go both ways, though, so make sure you can hold up your end of the social contract. You can’t just vent at all your friends and not be available to listen to them vent. That said, you are not required to do anyone else’s emotional labor, and your friends are not required to do yours. If you call someone to vent and they say that they can’t deal with it at the time, respect that. Find someone else if necessary, or be patient.

Having professionals in your network — a therapist and/or psychiatrist — can also be helpful, which leads us to the next piece.

There is no shame in seeking professional help

You do not have to do it alone, and it’s honestly better if you have a network. However, you can’t always rely on your friends to pull you out of a funk. That is unfair to both of you — your friends can’t always solve your problems for you, and you can’t put that expectation on them when they have their own problems.

Sometimes, you just need a professional. Don’t be afraid to go to a therapist if you think you need more professional help — there is no shame in therapy, and a neutral party can help you see things outside yourself that you may have missed.

Anyone can do it: you are not required to have a diagnosable mental illness to seek therapy. People go to therapy for many reasons, whether for a diagnosed condition or just due to general stress or anxiety. There are many different types of therapy for different things, and most have some sort of evidence-based component that is proven to work on certain conditions or situations. That said, your therapist may recommend you see a psychiatrist for a potential diagnosis. While a therapist can’t diagnose you, they can get a sense of whether there might be something more.

Going to a psychiatrist is not shameful, nor is getting diagnosed with a mental illness, nor is taking medications for a mental illness. Studies have shown that combining medication and talk therapy can often be more effective than either by themselves.

Mental illnesses are treatable, sometimes with only therapy and sometimes with medication and therapy combined. It is incredibly possible to live a normal life with a mental illness.

Taking medications for mental illness is not shameful. While the cause of mental illnesses isn’t known for sure and are often complex, they often have to do with a combination of genetic, environmental, and chemical factors that affect how a person’s brain works. Taking medication to help correct a misfiring brain is no more shameful than a diabetic using insulin to correct their blood sugar or wearing prescription glasses to correct your vision. We don’t give a second thought to those, why should we feel ashamed to take medication for a mental illness?

Self-care can and should be an everyday thing

Part of self-care is that it is something you should do every day to help boost your mental health. Self-care should not stop when you’re feeling better, but should instead be a piece of each day. In fact, neglecting regular self-care can be detrimental to both you and the people around you.

There are many things you can do for daily self-care. Get in the habit of taking a walk in the morning. Find an easy, tasty, and healthful breakfast that nourishes your body. Learn how to make the perfect pour-over coffee and make it a ritual to start your day. Write a journal. Start a blog and write about your feelings, even if nobody reads it. Make a TikTok and learn how to do trendy dances. Whatever makes you feel good.

Get in the habit of practicing your hobbies. Find something that you can do for fun and nothing else. These days, everything needs to be a side hustle. Ignore that feeling and make your hobby something fun instead of an obligation. Build models of cars, or trains, or anime mecha.

Set up gripe sessions with friends over Zoom. Start therapy. Have a socially distanced picnic. Form a Dungeons and Dragons group. Find ways to socialize regularly without risking infection.

There are many ways to perform daily self-care. Get creative. Figure out something that helps your mood and your health.

Taking care of yourself should be a priority, even when the pandemic is over

We have all had to learn about self-care during these stressful times, but when things get back to some sort of normal, we should all try to remember the lessons we’ve learned. Mental illness has been stigmatized for a long time, but the pandemic has brought it into stark focus. We all are getting a hard lesson in what it is like to be depressed.

So, as the world becomes more aware of what mental illness feels like, I hope we can all remember the lessons after this is all done: everyone needs to take care of their mental health. Self-care shouldn’t just apply to people with mental illness; it should apply to everyone. I am hopeful we as a society will remember this lesson; I think it will help us all in the long run.