Diana C.’s 30-Day Poetry Challenge | Day 15: A life of one’s own design
The Lesson Plan
Tanka of trials and tribulations for spiritual growth
Incarnate handsome Book-smart wealthy privileged Behind these 8-balls Face yours and others’ demons Emerge confident and Light
Decoder Ring
The purpose of every incarnation is to learn from life-lessons, and the better one navigates the bumps, potholes, detours, and demolition derbies of multi-player sagas, the higher one ascends in Heaven.
If you choose to go back to earth, it would be for the specific requirement to have the goal of growing your soul to get to the next level
I started to think about the karmic nature of our love for each other and what is the purpose of a karmic relationship. It’s been suggested to me that the pain of losing Her was some sort of payback for poor choices I made in this or a previous lifetime. I do not think so. The purpose of life is to learn. So, the pain is not payback; the pain is designed to help me learn. Looking at the loss in that light resonates. The phrase “that will teach you a lesson” is often said in a “you deserved that” manner. False. “Teach you a lesson” should be read literally and without a punishing connotation. The point is simply to learn. That is not dark. That is love.
So, what life-lessons can I discern? What am I supposed to take back to Heaven with me to have a better life review and ascend to my potential? An overarching theme that I see in all that has happened these last few months is: do not let conformity get in the way of growth; do not seek answers in what society expects; do not be afraid to live life in alignment with soul and nonconformity with community; to thine own self be true IF, IF, IF thine own self is not unethical or immoral.
I believe I am supposed to learn to avoid arrogance, impatience, condescension and patronization; and instead be patient and humbly confident.
The way to innocence, to the uncreated and to God leads on, not back, … ever deeper into human life. … Instead of narrowing your world and simplifying your soul, you will have to absorb more and more of the world and at last take all of it up in your painfully expanded soul, if you are to ever find peace. This is the road that Buddha and every great man has gone, whether consciously or not, insofar as fortune favored his quest. All births mean separation from the All, the confinement within limitation, the separation from God, the pangs of being born anew. The return into the All, the dissolution of painful individuation, the reunion with God means the expansion of the soul until it is able once more to embrace the All. — Hermann Hesse from Steppenwolf
The first two lines of my tanka evoke the advantages with which I was born. The third line, the pivot, posits that these advantages actually hinder spiritual growth.
Sighhhhhh. My parents. What a fucking enigma. I think I got my driftwood trait from my mother. She is the one that everybody likes — she is kind and very social — she took care of us but I wonder now if she was there but not present. My father is emotionally detached from the world. He imperiously lives in his own construct of the world and everyone else, including his children, are but chess pieces in his game of life. What love he thinks he shows has strings attached. In Delray, after a few group therapy sessions with my parents, B., who practically destroyed his children, came up to me and said, “Man Greg, I thought my kids had it rough.”
[Looking back on it now I think Bob saw through my father after 45 minutes in a way that took me until this past May.]
The enigma is how the hell they have stayed together. They constructed a world for themselves that works for them I guess, but they don’t realize that while it’s kept them together it’s not what they should want for their children. They would tell me that I seek infatuation and that real love is what they have. Bull shit. They have co-dependency.
The fourth line reflects that I grew up without intimate love from my parents and battled my father’s demons and my own demons of dependency, both on substances and other people instead of being self-reliant.
Philia soulmates I have only cried like this for my dear Lindsey I can only blame myself letting david ruin us
raised me to be weak other-reliance instilled Richard will be there such a burden I became loving reduced to caring
Those tanka stanza are pulled from
Poem of tankas accepting responsibility for damaged friendship while forgiving myself as aware toxic parent traumatized me; healing by draining pain pockets
The fifth line is the goal.
The above quotes are pulled from
Thank you for allowing me to share and for reading.
In Rama I create,