Life lessons
When Was The Last Time You Felt Free? Truly Free
And what did that look like for you?
On June 23rd, the US Supreme court expanded gun rights by striking down a law in New York that restricted the use of firearms to “proper cause.”
The court found that a New York law requiring residents to prove a good reason to carry concealed firearms in public violates the US Constitution and the god-given right of Americans to keep and bear arms.
The change of the law came soon after an eighteen-year-old gunman shot nineteen children at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas,
So, at what point does your sense of freedom infringe upon mine?
To affirm this American right, shooters killed and wounded 62 people in Chicago during the 4th of July celebrations.
While many Americans believe their safety lies in their right to defend themselves, I decided not to move back to San Diego because it feels safer and “free-er” in Canada. Freedom comes when we feel safe — physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Freedom shows up in many ways:
Freedom has a different meaning to every one of us. However, here are some common ones that may resonate with you:
Freedom from oppression:
The fear around Covid infections had hit the level of paranoia among some of our friends back home. I felt relief early this year when I arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
As soon as I dropped off my bag at the hotel and walked along Basilio Bedilio, I felt a sense of freedom. The celebratory atmosphere felt like a release from Covid prison! I no longer had to deal with the paranoia and intrusive policing at home.
Freedom from a toxic relationship.
When I think of the times I feel free, one of the first things that come to mind is leaving a toxic relationship. It had left one a few years ago, and as soon as I said ‘goodbye,” I felt a tremendous sense of relief.
Freedom from emotional pain.
It took a while to recover from the effects of that relationship. A greater sense of freedom ensued when the pain of the betrayal left me. You can leave a toxic relationship yet stay imprisoned if the pain from the memories of the relationship still haunt you.
Freedom from the past.
Memories of our past keep many of us in shackles — our mistakes, the relationships we should have left sooner, the opportunities we let slip by, and the deep sense of regret that haunts us.
But while we cannot change our past, we can change our relationship with it
— Jennifer Thompson.
How do you leave the shadows of the past?
One way to heal from past hurts is to focus on growth — learn the lessons the experience taught you. For example, my past relationship taught me I am worthy of love.
The next thing you can do is write down the actions you can take to move forward. Do this regularly, and you’ll create momentum.
Thinking about what “should have been” keeps you stuck in pain. Forgiveness helps you to break the chains from the past. Forgive yourself and the people involved in the situation — for the sake of your freedom.
Freedom in flow.
I feel a great sense of freedom when I write. When I write, I enter a state of flow — which for me, is absolute freedom. Positive Psychologist Dr. Mihály Csíkszentmihály coined this state of flow. It’s the feeling you get when you are so engrossed in your work you lose your sense of time.
When I write, it feels like I am following my North Star (my calling), which would never lead me astray.
Inner freedom.
We often know freedom to mean democracy — the freedom to vote, the choice to move freely, freedom of speech, and now freedom to choose who you marry.
But what if you are taken captive?
Psychoanalyst and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl introduced us to the concept of ultimate freedom:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.” — Viktor Frankl
Freedom is not about being physically free from prison but:
Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you become the plaything to circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity…” — Viktor Frankl
Nelson Mandela echoes this — imprisoned for twenty-seven years as he fought against Apartheid in South Africa:
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” — Nelson Mandela —
Financial Freedom?
Most people talk about how having money gives you freedom. Money gives you options, but your mind is what gives you freedom. Unfortunately, thinking traps many wealthy individuals.
Bringing it all together.
Freedom looks different to every one of us. To the mom tied down with a set of two-year-old twins, freedom is that trip to the spa without the kids.
To the person without any food, freedom would be the next meal. And a person held captive counts the day to being set free.
But ultimately, what keeps us in bondage are our beliefs. Change your beliefs and feel how free you become.
When was the last time you felt free? What is keeping you imprisoned?
Shoutout to some inspiring work which I encourage you to read:
And one of my articles: