Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake
The Insane British Lunatics Who Run Down a Ridiculously Steep Hill After Cheese
Cooper’s Hill Cheese Rolling: where stupid people come to get badly injured
Some people like to chase after cheese down a hill. I’m not kidding! They actually do this as a sport.
In Gloucestershire, England, it is an annual event, taking place every May on Cooper’s Hill, above the village of Brockworth, near the city of Gloucester. It is known as the Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake, and it is absolutely insane.
I’ve been to Cooper’s Hill, and I can tell you with 100% certainty, absolutely nothing would make me run down that hill. Certainly not a piece of cheese!
Even if there was an angry bull chasing after me, I would run in any direction but down that hill. It’s almost vertical the whole way down, and at one point it’s concaved. The chances of you staying on your feet are slim. The chances of you getting injured are high.
See for yourself:
As with the people who run out in front of cars, you have to be either stupid or insane to do this.
I have climbed up this hill, all the way from the bottom to the top, and that felt dangerous enough! In fact, just near the top, it’s a bit difficult to climb, and I felt like I might roll back down. Luckily I didn’t!
There’s a wonderful view from the top, though:
And here’s the view looking down the hill:
The photo doesn’t really do it justice. It looks a lot more extreme when you’re actually stood there looking down.
You want to see another video, don’t you! Okay, let’s see one in slow motion:
Does that look like the behaviour of sane people?
If an alien race were to visit Earth and see that, they would immediately leave. They would report back: “Don’t go to Earth. It’s a very silly planet. The most evolved species there likes to run down hills after cheese.”
If the human race was a computer program, the programmers would conclude: “Damn, this system is broken. These mad people keep running down hills after cheese, they panic buy fuel whenever there’s a rumour of a shortage, they run out in front of traffic because their houses are too cold, they blow things up, they crash things, and they keep punching each other. We need to scrap this and start again.”
6 million years of evolution have got us to this point. 300,000 years of Homo Sapiens. Somehow, evolution didn’t get rid of the “running down hills after cheese” gene.
Of all the things that people get cancelled for these days. People get cancelled just for having an opinion that isn’t currently trendy. But shouldn’t people get cancelled for being stupid enough to chase cheese down a hill?
Or perhaps there should be even more danger added, to maximise the chances of them being removed from the gene pool. Maybe there could be a trap door at the bottom of the hill which unexpectedly opens, plunging them into a bath of acid.
Of course, I’m kidding.
Instead, their punishment should be that they have to eat nothing but cheese for a whole month. Do you want cheese that badly? Okay, here’s an entire month’s worth, and you have to eat it all before you’re allowed any other food.
Or perhaps they should be forced to run down a hill for anything they want/need. Need a new iPhone? Okay, there’s one at the bottom of the hill. Off you go! Single and wanting to date? Okay, your date is waiting for you at the bottom of the hill. Show them what you’re made of!
What’s the most insane sport you’ve seen?