EX-Files 911 Call
Man Found Unconscious with Three Naked Men What the Doctors Found in His Mouth Wasn’t Vomit
The truth is out there
911 Call
911 Dispatcher: 911, where is your emergency? Unidentified Male: Hi there, Yea, we need an ambulance right now.
911 Dispatcher: Okay. Unidentified Male: We have someone unconscious.
911 Dispatcher: Ok, What’s the address? Unidentified Male: Um, we’re at the F*** Steam GYM Spa bathhouse.
911 Dispatcher: Okay, does anybody know the complete address? Could you ask anyone? Unidentified Male: Yea, okay, hold on, hurry up, he looks like he’s not breathing.
That could be the 911 call, but I don’t know for sure, because only years later when I found out what happened to my ex-boyfriend in Vancouver.
I believe in the innate goodness of men just like the Pope, I don’t mean Olivia but the one at the Vatican. When I’m in love, I’m gullible, I believe in everything.
As Will Smith said, ‘Love makes you do crazy shit.’
And I did some crazy sh*t, and so did my ex-boyfriend.
Like any LDR or LDRR couple, it is hard and gay couples are no exception. We met on a ship, and when this all happened, I was doing another Alaskan cruise, he was doing hot Canadians.
Vancouver
Unlike today when there are many ways to connect in real-time, video calls back then were expensive. We exchange emails or chat whenever possible. One day, he sent me a photo of him with stitches on his forehead.
As always, I was worried sick.
When he finally explained, he said he fainted in Vancouver, and luckily for him three Good Samaritans called 911.
He said he needed a few stitches on his forehead but he is good to go, he said,
‘I’m not dying yet, and we will spend many more summers together.’
When I pressed for more details, nothing.
End of story.
Deep inside, I was worried, I thought he was dying. It wasn’t the first time it had happened. While he was on vacation back home, he sent me a message that he was in a car accident, but he was Ok.
He sent me a photo of his car, and it was as if an angel saved his life, or it must have been the airbags. Later, I would find out what really happened.
Then one time he said he fell on his bike, and he got dizzy spells.
Whenever I pressed for more details, nothing.
End of story.
Years after we call it quits, who wouldn’t after you learn the truth. We tried to become friends, but the problem was that whenever I gave him another chance, I would catch him lying again. My problem with my ex, he was always stitching his anus where his mouth was.
The problem with lies is that they are half-truths.
The only time he told me the truth was when I asked him about Vancouver.
I guess he thought I would be impressed so he spilled the beans himself.
It’s true that there was a 911 call, that he was unconscious. It didn't happen outside the streets of Vancouver but inside the steam room of a gay bathhouse in Davis St.
And those three Good Samaritans who called 911, well, they were not some Justin Bieber or that other Justin, they were hot naked Canadian hunks he was doing four-way debauchery.
The thing with a steam room is that you must take cooling breaks between 5 to 10 minutes, otherwise overheating can cause dizziness and nausea when your body temperature rises rapidly, as it can after entering a hot sauna. You may feel dizzy and sick as a result.
He goes on to finish his story by asking me if I want to know what happened in the ER when he was at the hospital.
I said, let me finish it for you.
Whatever the doctors found in your mouth when they opened it sure wasn’t vomit.
Lab results showed it had the genetic sample of human semen from three different men.
End of story.
Disclaimer: “This is a work of fiction. Any names or characters, businesses or places, events or incidents, are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.”
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